Domestic violence

The local headlines read: "Two killed, two injured in domestic
violence dispute."
Domestic violence is always a tragedy. The reverberations echo beyond
the victims. It reaches out and grasps family, children and friends to
shake them to their very core. This is one story of such an
event.

The tragedy unfolded here on a quite tree lined street last week. A
woman, separated from her husband for the past three years was finding
a life for herself and her children. She realized the daunting task
ahead of her. Five children she would raise with a father available
only on weekends or whenever his police officer position would allow
him. In fact the two had been in and out of court on custody issues for
most of the 3 years they had been apart.

Within the last six months, she had developed another relationship. One
whose company she enjoyed and he enjoyed hers. They had found common
interests. Both were nature buffs. They took walks, took the kids on
picnics, and all the other enjoyments one hopes for in a relationship.
He was unafraid of falling in love with a woman with 5 children. He
helped her get them ready for school and taught them fly-fishing.

Because of this realtionship she had come to a decision. She decided
that there would be no going back "for the sake of the children" this
time. They had tried many times before. Although the last 3 years had
been difficult, She had come to realize that there were other options
available to her and found herself with the ability to make decisions
and care for herself and her children on her own terms. This new
relationship was giving her love and support instead of fists and
accusations. It had made her strong.

She planned how she would tell him. She asked that her friend be with
her, as she knew it would provoke an argument. With her mind made up,
she and her friend waited for her husband to bring back two of the
children who had been on an outing with their father on Mothers
day.

He came into the house with the children and immediately saw that her
friend was there and demanded he leave. He said he did not want him
around the children. In fact he was not at all pleased that she found
someone else. Children almost always endure the crossfire between
parents in situations like this when they are used as excuses or
rationalizations.

Her friend refused to leave and told him that he was there to protect
her from harm.
Enraged, her husband threw a punch at her friend and knocked him
backward for an instant. In that same instant, he reached into his belt
and pulled out his police service 9mm weapon and shot him. She screamed
and he turned the gun on her. Her friend attempted to get up and the
man shot him again, and again, and again. He then turned toward his
wife and shot at her, hitting his 3-year-old son. In an instant
ralization of the horror at what he had done, he placed the gun at his
temple and fired.

Someone heard the shots and called the police. Two officers went into
the house finding a wounded 3- year- old, an unconscious and seriously
injured woman and two men dead on the kitchen floor. One dead of a
gunshot wound in his head, the other dead with four shots in his body,
one in the back.

The woman was barely alive. The 3-year-old wounded in the leg and
traumatized. Five children now without a father and possibly without a
mother had watched this event unfold. They watched as their father
unleashed a barrage of gunfire in their kitchen, killing their mom's
friend. They watched as their father shot himself in the head.

This was indeed a tragic event that may not have revealed the still
unknown consequences of one man's action. The lives of numerous people
have been jolted, all because someone refused to let go, refused to
understand the word no and refused to believe that sometimes one can't
always get what they want. The psychological trauma of the children
could effect the rest of their lives. How will they view relationships
between men and women? How will it effect their own future
relationships?

Anger is futile, as there is no one to bring to justice, no
condemnation for someone who assuredly left this life with the
knowledge that his legacy of devastation will have a profound impact on
everybody around them. Most may see suicide as a cowardly act. In this
case, in a moment of clarity, the knowledge of what he had done was
simply something that his conscience would not allow him to live with.
The rest of us must.