Is God in &;#063;

I tried to explain my situation to the vicar; he was patient, kind
and allowed me my full say. I told him that I had tried prayer. I
genuinely believed in a Heavenly Father, His Son and The Holy Ghost. I
had genuinely believed in the power of prayer. I had genuinely believed
in Eternal Life.

"But I'm not sure any more".

"And why is that ?"

"Well..."

To my innocent mind, Eternal Life meant just that. It meant that
the
people I loved would never die. It meant that they would be alive, here
on Earth and preferably not too far away so that I wouldn't get
car-sick on the way to see them. All of this spirit-stuff and the soul
surviving physical death was a little too much to grasp when I was six
or seven.

Nevertheless, it dawned on me with some force when my Nan died.
No
matter how hard someone prays for another person, that latter person
will eventually die. Come to that, so will the former. Those that you
love will not always be around to see, to hold, to talk with. This
concept was difficult at first, but eventually I could see that it made
some sense.

I continued praying for those that I loved, but added some personal
requests. I politely asked the Lord if I could be slimmer, taller,
cleverer, attractive to girls and good at football. Please ? After all,
I was nine and had to move quickly. I foresaw that if my prayers were
answered, I would probably be playing for Everton by the time I was 14
- provided that my wife Raquel Welch didn't mind staying home to look
after the kids and if the research into cold fusion could wait just a
little while longer. I imagined that these types of request would be
small beer for Someone who made the entire Universe within a week and
still managed to get some kip on the Sunday.

I was good. I was patient. I kept praying. Nothing. Not a spiritual
sausage. I was still well and truly ordinary.

The Vicar shook his head slowly and gave a knowing, benevolent smile as
he said :

"You still haven't got it, have you ?"

"Well, I suppose He can't be everywhere at once, can He ? What with an
expanding Universe to look after ?"

He shook his head even more slowly and the smile disappeared from
his
face. He asked

"Do you have a dictionary at home ?"

I did.

"Good. And do you know how to use it ?"

I did.

"Good. Then do me - and yourself - a huge favour, would you ?"

I would.

He handed me a piece of paper with the word OMNIPRESENT written in big,
bold letters.

"When you get home this evening look up that word, would you ?"

I did.

And I felt a bit dim when I had finished. Almost as dim as the time
that my English teacher set me a special essay for my homework
- "The Simpleton - An Autobiography".