I Shot Simon Schama

An avid fan of Britain's past
That I saw on TV
Not knowing I was subject
To a moral certainty

The drudge of social justice
Republics bathed in blood
The rightful place of kings
All showered with the people's love

So I watched Simon Schama
Like a specky brainy mate
Yes I watched Simon Schama
And bought all his books and tapes

I heard some other voices
And read some other books
There lay other opinions
That I had overlooked

Feeling a betrayal then
I came to a solution
To go that extra metre
'Gainst his anti-revolution

So I watched Simon Schama
And decided to proceed
To trump the one voice history
Produced by Auntie Beeb

I squeezed my hand historically
He crumpled to the deck
I must have felt like Princip
As the blood pumped from his neck

Would I be cast a villain
And my evil forged as fact?
Or would the world see history
Is more complex than that?

Yes I shot Simon Schama
Not as a crime of hate
I shot Simon Schama
Just to stimulate debate