James Bond By Colin Powell

"He hid the weapons of mass destruction in all sorts of odd places.
But we saw him hide it. We took photographs. We recorded discussions.
We saw his links with terrorists. It is the most evil empire on earth
right now. And he must be stopped!"

This story-teller is not some fiction writer. Or some movie star from
Hollywood, the entertainment capital of the world. And the scene is far
removed from Frankenstein territory. But this story-teller is a former
war general turned American Secretary of State named Colin Powell. The
scene is the floor of the great United Nations, which some folks who
have a bad sense of humor call Talking Nations. The major character of
the story is Saddam Hussein. And the devilish empire is Iraq.

The high point of the JAMES BOND story is not the satellite photographs
(after all where are the weapons?) nor is it the Al Qaeda connection
(after all if you are not with us you are against us - by George Bush).
But the most interesting point of the over one-hour speech at the
Talking Nations, sorry United Nations, is the voice recording. For
these "devils" in Iraq were actually saying "hide it, hide it, hide it"
in reference to the weapons of mass destruction, sorry
wepunmassdistrucshun. I actually like the literary effect (The Arabic
version is musical to the ears).

And after the great "revelation," war mongers went to town. They said
that it has been proved that Iraq is actually a threat to world peace.
What do they call a proven theory in Latin? Quod erat Demonstradum.
Yes, the theory has been demonstrated that if Iraq is not disarmed
right now, that "madman" directing events in that country will cause
historians issuing titles like THE END OF ORDER. Or THE END OF HISTORY.
Or THE END OF THE WORLD. What a pity! And these war mongers rolled out
Ukulele the drum, and serenaded the movie star, Collins Powell.

But the pacifists were not impressed. First in that number was the
Inspection Team in Iraq who thought they would have been handed these
evidences ab initio, instead of making it a public show. (Forget them
for they know not the rules of script writing.) Then Iraqi officials
called it a cock-and-bull story. (Make it a cattle-and-ram story.)
France and Germany say no to war. (Americans call them the old Europe)
And even Russia is not impressed. Is it because they have their hands
on Iraqi oil? (Never mind anyway. That Powerless country is part of
"pieces of eight")

Before then, Africa's Nelson Mandela, was up in arms against George
Bush Jnr. and Tony Blair. He called Bush an arrogant man intent in
plunging the world into a holocaust, calling Blair George Bush's
foreign minister .He even says that Bush wants to render the UN
irrelevant because an African -Koffi Annan - not a Whiteman, is
Secretary-General.

But some wonder why Mandela said so. Is it that old age is telling on
him? And he is forgetting things as if he crossed the River Lethe. Or
drank Mandragora. Does he not know that Tony Blair, Britain's Prime
Minister cannot be a foreign minister to the president of another
sovereign country? And it pained not a few Africans that this their
illustrious son has forgotten elementary government.

Regarding his anti war stance, some point to his guerilla war against
white South Africa. After all, his "terrorism" paid off because South
Africa is now free of violence, anarchists, and rapists. And Bush and
Blair want to make the earth a paradise-- free of devils-- by declaring
war on dangerous Iraq. Forget Nelson Mandela. When last did a black man
say useful things?

Now the game is over for Saddam Hussein. We are going to war. Do not
think of the effect of the war on the world economy. After all, Iraq
has some of the world's finest oil. When we win the war, we would
install our own Governor - General and take charge of the oil. You can
imagine the rest of the story.

Do not think of the humanitarian cost. For Saddam has always gassed his
own people to death. So, what if a few Iraqis die for the salvation of
the many. Regarding the soldiers that would die in battle, never mind
about that. For they would have beautiful memorial tombs erected for
them .And the sons of the war planners would lay wreaths on them, and
write their epitaghs. Some would take Charles Dickens book A TALE OF
TWO CITIES with them to the grave yard, and copy the opening lines: "It
was a summer of hope. It was a winter of despair".

When Charles Dickens wrote A TALE OF TWO CITIES, however, he was not
thinking of the war on terror. Or wepunmassdistrucshun. But in the
world of James Bond, anything goes.

THE WINTER OF DESPAIR

We are ready to attack Iraq. The spy planes have done their work and we
know just where to strike. So we advance with guns and bombs through
the torturous Iraqi desert terrain. We kill and maim as we go, and the
enemy decimates our soldiers, too. And we the surviving soldiers press
on, ever wearing our masks. Because this "mad" man that rules this evil
empire could use anything on us - including chemicals and biological
weapons. But alas - after all the hazards, we win and disarm
Iraq.

THE SUMMER OF HOPE

We celebrate our victory. The world will be a better place to live now
without dangerous weapons in the hands of this evil country. Israel has
these weapons too, but that country is better behaved. Besides, they
are God's chosen people.

The newly appointed Governor-General has just inspected his
guard-of-honor, and is telling Iraqis how different this new
democratic, liberal regime will be. For the people will now enjoy total
freedom and life will be more abundant.

We hear many wonderful Arabian Night stories. It was told of a poor
Arab cattle rearer who bought a field to graze his livestock. But
unbeknownst to him, the field was laid with gold. And this poor
shepherd now became a fabulously rich sheikh ever after.

The story strikes a semblance to our adventure. Because after we have
buried thousands of our dead soldiers, and laid beautiful wreaths on
their tombs, we retire to reflect on the success of our mission.
Suddenly, we find ourselves, champagne in hand, floating on top of
fine-grade Iraqi oil; watching Saddam Hussein hanging on a 1000-foot
high pole and listening to a musical composition of Colin Powell. And
it happens to be the musical rendition of the poem, PARADISE REGAINED
by the blind poet, John Milton.It was then that I realized the vision
of Collins Powell, and I remembered the JAMES BOND story at the
UN.

Bravo!