Johannesburg: 31/08/2012

The beginning.

Dear X,

The hostel in Jo'Burg is great! It used to be a storage place during the Boer War, probably for ammunition and weapons. The garden is amazing, it's a paradise out there. I'm sat on my bunk bed, in this slightly over crowded dormitory, writing to you and staring out the window. It's a mystery to me, what lays out there. Everywhere there are incredible birds, of all different colours, roaming around. My whole perception of life had been turned on it's head! Sparrows and Pigeons have suddenly become unusual species, replaced by big, crane-like birds with electric blue plumage and tiny, dazzling birds that look like they have been kissed by a rainbow.

In the plane we flew past Kilimanjaro, and it is huge. It's so majestic, soaring endlessly up into the sky. It's an enormous nail, the clouds are fearless children, playing too close to the point and every now and again they snag themselves, sending tendrils of white flesh flying into the sky. We should climb it someday, you and I. The planes are elegant as well. It still amazes me how something so large can heave itself into the sky and stay there, carrying the weight of the people and their worlds' onboard.

The international airports were perfect people watching places. I've managed to create thousands of imaginary lives for all the strangers that I saw. A business man, traveling alone with nothing but his iPad for company, a victim of modern day "progress". He looked sad, but stern, he didn't have a girlfriend because the only thing he could ever, be in love with came in the form of a paycheck at the end of every month and the satisfaction that he was once again the "high flyer" of the company. Then there was the single Mother, a toddler in tow, dragging his little feet and whimpering mildly. Bare foot, he was. He must have been perishing cold, Nairobi airport wasn't the warmest place I'd ever been. I wondered where the Father was. Were they running away from a cruel torment? Or were they racing towards the warm embrace of a loving heart and devoted love? I can't tell you why, but I decided on the former. I suppose I've got the negative vibes.

I'm nervous, really nervous. South Africa is so new, so different. Suddenly, all the safety nets that I had so carefully strung out for myself have been ripped down and all my faults are laid bare. The smell of danger is lingering in the air. There were some guys at the airport that were "helping us" to load our bags onto the bus and I thought that they were going to steal something. So much for avoiding prejudice, they were just helping.

I met a bus driver, he was a hilarious man. He was a proper South African, his entire family line born and bred in S.A. and he was black. He said he can speak 11 different languages, how incredible is that?! I can barely get to grips with English, let alone contemplate learning more languages than one can count on 2 hands! The people here are really kind. I give one example, earlier today we were in a bakery and a guy, I presume the owner of the place, gave us 5 free loaves of bread. Five! And they were delicious, wholesome and smelling like wheat and earth, still warm as well.

Johannesburg is insane. It's bigger than any city in England that I have ever laid eyes on. The houses are like castles, with wrought iron gates and guards positioned outside. The fronts of buildings are struck between being grandiose and sinister, yet holding the marks of poverty and a disheveled sense of neglect. It reminds me of something out of a post apocalypse world. Everything has been renewed, the world has begun to repopulate, yet if you use your eyes it's easy to spot the crumbling in the mask.

Ruby and I have already cause a raucous. I said there were guards everywhere, and I mean it. If anywhere was fully prepared for surprise war attack, Jo'Burg would be the place. Anyway, Ruby and I were walking down the street and decided that it would be a great time to have a play fight. So, as it would insinuate, we started rolling around and shouting and laughing. A guard nearby started up from his solitary position and made a move towards us, so we made a run for it. It's different here. Everybody is scared, tense.

I saw the sunset today, it was beautiful. I thought about you. Bright red, orange and pink. The sky was shouting, screaming, crying out in passionate haste all of the hatred it wished to pour onto the earth. I was there, I saw it. The sky was bleeding, bleeding out. I watched it die. Saw the light in it's fiery eyes fade away, to give way to tumultuous darkness. There are no stars. The electricity from the city swells out of it's boundaries and leaks onto the sky, stealing the stars away, sucking them in.

It's 11.30pm, and I'm still looking out of the window. It's like all the stars have been pulled out of the heavens, and placed down on the horizon, a glittering carpet there for God to place his delicate feet on.

Oh how poetic.

I love you always.

P.s. the Project Trust people are crazy, my country group consists of girly girls, lunatics and binge drinkers. At which point did Project Trust think that a girl who takes a dildo to Africa would be a good volunteer for a project?!