Jokes various

20/12/00

JOKES 1.

1 2 days beginning with letter T - today &; tomorrow.

2. Accountant wanted for Dublin office; 600 applicants; Paddy
O'flynn being interviewed later as the successful candidate by
the Company Chairman. Pleased to welcome you O'flynn just
consider again your answer to the advanced section question 7
- what does 5 x 5 equal? you gave 48, surely you know this
should be 25?. Ah yes governor, bejesus and that, but I did
come the closest.

3. CIVIL AVIATION AUTHORITY OF IRELAND

Examination for issue of Commercial Pilot's
Licence

Time allowed 3 hours. Pass mark 75\%

a) Candidates full name (10 marks)
b) On the front of the VHF radio set is a switch
marked "on" and "off". In which of these 2 positions
can you expect to get the best receptiopn? (10 marks)
)
c) Which undercarriage position would you select for a
normal landing? Up or Down? ( 5 marks)
d) If 1 metre equals 39.36 inches - how far is
50 metres? - give your answer in metres. (10 marks)

e) A barrel roll is -
a) an aerobatic manoevre?
b) laying a barmaid?
c) rolling a beerkeg? (10 marks )

e) what is the opposite to a cold front -
a) a hot behind?
b) a warm front? (10 marks)

6. Who was that lady I saw you with last night ? That was no lady that
was my wife.
7. Who was that lady etc etc ? Gertrude. Just stick with Gert &;
leave out the rude.
12. doctor doctor - I feel like a pair of lapels -- you must have
colera.
13. Your lips remind me of petals - rose petals ? - no bicycle
pedals.

14. Waiter waiter, what sort of soup is this ? Bean soup. I dont care
what its been, what is it now ?

15. Doctor, doctor I feel like a pair of curtains - well, pull yourself
together.

18. I say I say I say: your teeth shine like the stars - they
come out at night.

20. Well then, would you like a harvey wallbanger ? Ooh yes, rather,
but can I have a drink first ?

36. Mick &; Paddy finishing the brickwork on top of a factory
chimney. Mick - bejasus Paddy we read the drawings upside down this
should have been a well.

37. When's your birthday ? 4th April What year ? Every year.