The Moonstone

She paused at the veranda near to the restaurant. The rain had ceased and the air was warm but not close. The nearby rocks took on a polished appearance as waves lapped across them, illuminated by small white lights woven into palm trees fringing a tempestuous beach. A magical place, she thought. Quiet. A place where wishes came true. She buried her head in her hands. My daughter is dead. She can't see any of this. Her crying disappeared with the echo of the Indian Ocean.

Phillip stayed at the bar drinking brandies and port. Eventually, the barman had to ask him to leave. It was past midnight when he staggered down the spiral staircase, surrounded by brass sculptures which depicted the arrival of the Europeans in Sri Lanka, and then he rolled along the lantern-lit path which led to their room. He inserted his card-key in the door and switched on the light. A gecko raced across the ceiling and disappeared behind the window shutters.

"Lily," he whispered, but his wife lay in her bed, her face turned away from his eyes. He switched off the light and went into the bathroom. When she heard the sound of running water, she sat up in bed and took a swig of gin and flat tonic that was in a large tumbler on her bedside cabinet. "I wish I could die," she said to herself, and then changed her mind, "no I wish Phillip would die."

Are you sure you don't want me with you?" Phillip asked as he helped her into one of the chauffeur-driven hotel cars.

She shook her head. "No. I want to explore on my own."

"I'll stay by the pool then."

She nodded and watched as he studied the ground before moving to shut the car door. "I'll worry about you Lily. Whether you'll be safe..."

"Don't he silly Phillip. I'll see you this evening."

The car navigated the hotel drive and she sat back in the seat, relieved to be leaving him behind. He ran up beside the car forcing her to lower the window.

"Lily, do you think you'll ever love me again?"

Her angry eyes locked with his and she pressed the switch that closed the window. The car moved onto the main road, which led towards Beruwela.

"What's your name?" she asked the driver.

He turned around and his dark blur of face was split by a brilliant smile. "Mr S Bandelwarle Ma'am."

She laughed. "That's far too complicated for me to remember."

He laughed too. "Then you must call me Sammi."

They continued in silence along the dusty main road, overtaking oxen-driven carts in a way that would warrant prosecution in the UK. They in turn, were eclipsed by rusty lorries painted with vibrant designs. Sammi tutted. "Don't be frightened Ma'am, they are not of my religion ... Death is different for them."

Lily smiled. "But the outcome is the same."

Sammi looked ashamed. "Not for me Ma'am, I am Buddhist."

"What religion are the other drivers then?"

"Hindu Ma'am." And then as an afterthought, "Or Moslem." He steered the car to the side of the road, switched off the engine and turned to look at her. She appreciated the fine structure of his long angular face. "I can see you have been touched by death Ma'am."

She was shocked. "How do you know that Sammi?"

"I have the gift Ma'am."

She watched him cringe and fiddle with the frayed collar of his pure white shirt. "The gift for what?" she asked.

He shook his head. "I can smell death on you ... I'm sorry."

She sighed, unable to contain her irritability. She did not want to hear the ranting of a charlatan. "Can we drive on now?"

An unmade road brought them to a small moonstone mine and factory. She had always adored moonstones ever since reading the Wilkie Collins novel and, although she had seen them in London Jewellers, set in earrings and pendants, she had never owned one. She only ever wanted to buy one from Sri Lanka.

A man with a face resembling a fossil helped her from the car. "Come along lady, I will take you to the mine and then we will visit the factory."

She looked at Sammi, almost for approval.

"Yes Ma'am ... you go...I stay here and wait."

"We put two men down here ... with candle... the old man gestured "and when candle blows out, no oxygen so we know to bring men up and two more go down in their place."

She watched as two small boys climbed up from the depths of the murky mine. The old man quickly relieved them of the booty they were carrying.

"Look," he touched her arm, and her flesh crept, "see the beautiful moonstones." He carried a bowl that appeared to contain nothing more than gravel. He placed it under a tap of running water and triumphantly held up a piece of 'gravel' for her to see. "Look madam, the wonderful moonstone."

Even in its primitive form, she marvelled at the semi-transparent beauty.

The old man steered her towards the factory where she was greeted by a small group of youths, cutting and polishing the stones. They smiled and blushed when she shook their hands.

"The moonstone is a very magical stone lady, it was discovered at full moon," the old man informed her. "It can tell the future ... Ask a question and then, place the stone in your mouth before you go to sleep ... the answer will become clear in your dreams."

If you do not choke first thought Lily.

She chose a lucid stone with a strong blue shine. The purest of moonstones, the old man had informed her. It was to be mounted in a simple silver setting, and would be delivered to the hotel later that evening. She paid far more than the ring was worth. But it was not important to her as long as she owned a moonstone.

She returned to the car park where Sammi was waiting. His washed-out blue sarong was hoisted by a gentle wind and she glimpsed the muscle in his thighs.

"Where would you like to go to now Ma'am?"

She smiled. "I don't know. You decide, as long as it's near water."

He drove to the side of a lake and hired a boy to ferry them across it in a shabby motor boat. The lake was covered with an eerie mist that broke into drizzle. Sammi and the boat-boy Quickly hoisted up a canopy to protect her and the boat skimmed towards an islet.

"Look Ma'am," Sammi pointed at foliage, "monitor lizard."

Lily looked over the side of the boat where two of them huddled together. "They look like grumpy old men," she said, "I don't think they like the rain."

Sammi laughed and she felt herself desiring his crescent-shaped smile.

"Do you want to see the Buddhist temple on the island?" he enquired.

She nodded and the boat-boy eased the boat closer towards land. When it was safely tethered, Sammi jumped out and helped her ashore.

The rain gave way to a spray-on sunshine and there was an earthy smell mixed with floral which tempted Lily's nostrils. The ground was uneven and she stumbled but Sammi caught her. She was aware that as they approached the temple he was still holding her hand.

"Is it all right for me to go inside?" she asked.

"Yes Ma'am but first you must remove your shoes."

She walked into the musty smelling temple, adorned with paintings of frightening gods and strange animals. A gold-painted Buddha smiled down at her. Sammi was, she realised, dedicated to his religion as he gently stroked the Buddha's chipped foot. Lily felt an urge to leave the temple immediately, it was stifling her.

The sun licked her face and melted all claustrophobic thoughts. "Are monks at this temple Sammi?"

"Of course Ma'am."

"Where are they now?"

"They have gone shopping Ma'am."

She was about to laugh when she saw the serious expression on his face. An exotic flowering bush was nearby. She pointed, "What's that Sammi?"

He broke off a sprig and held it under her nose. "It is pink jasmine Ma'am."

The fragrance turned her thoughts to love and how it was missing in her life. She started to cry.

Sammi watched. His eyelashes flickered. "Are you ill, he asked.

"No I'm not," she sobbed, "I'm lacking in love

"But you have husband? He doesn't love you?"

She stopped crying.

Sammi was pensive.

"Are you all right Ma'am."

"I don't love him."

"I see ... come this way Ma'am."

He guided her through a clearing where there was a small outhouse.

"Why have you bought me here Sammi?"

"To love you. To take away your hurt."

His way of life washed over her body and surrounded her mind. It would not, she knew, bring her daughter back, as his hands kneaded her icy flesh but it would give her a sense of being. He kissed her and his saliva was full of spice. She moaned and by the look of his shy eyes he thought he was pleasuring her.

Afterwards, he kissed her chin. "You are very beautiful Ma'am. I am lucky to have a girlfriend like you." He looked away from her face.

"Are you married Sammi?"

"Yes Ma'am."

She was going to tell him to call her Lily but then decided he would not want to do that. "Do you think it's wrong Sammi, what we've just done?"

He paused for a long time. "No Ma'am it is not."

"But you're married Sammi and so am I."

He returned her gaze. She could see no sign of shyness in his eyes. "Oh that Ma'am." His laugh was booming. "What we have had Ma'am is an affair of the body, not of the heart. That is not wrong."

She sighed, "And if it was an affair of the heart?"

He looked solemn, "Then it would be incorrect Ma'am."

She turned away from him and began to dress. What have I done? None of this was necessary.

Sammi clasped her hand as they made their way back towards the boat. "What is your Christian name Ma'am?" he asked.

She smiled at him. He was child-like. "Lily."

"I thought so," he said and he looked pleased. He asked the boat-boy to steer near to the riverbank. Lily was lost in thought and heard Sammi rustling around behind her.

"Please turn around Ma'am."

She twisted her waist and looked at Sammi. Gently, he placed over her neck, a garland of white water lilies. "Lilies for a Lily Ma'am."

"Sammi, they're lovely." She kissed him, not caring that the boat-boy ogled.

She was more than glad of the air conditioning in the car. Sammi asked her if she wanted to return to the hotel. But she did not want to. It was too soon. So he stopped at a stark restaurant which led down to a windswept beach. She had wanted Sammi to join her but he said he could not: the restaurant was for tourists not locals. It would not be proper.

She dined alone on a shrimp salad, watching the ever-present ocean and thinking of her
dead child.

Back at hotel, she tipped Sammi heavily. So much so that he muttered that he could not accept it. But she insisted. "How many children do you have Sammi?',

"Two Ma'am. One boy. One girl

"The money is for them. To help them."

"Thank you Ma'am.

"You know when you said earlier that you had the gift Sammi? That someone in my life had died?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"It was my daughter. My only child. She was seven when I lost her."

Sammi's head dropped towards his chest. "I am sorry Ma'am. May I ask how she died?"

"My husband murdered her."

She watched his eyes turn from brown to a final black. "That is very awful. Ma'am ... Terrible." Before she could reply, he lifted her chin with his artistic fingers and asked, "Will we be making love again."

She was taken aback. It was not an appropriate thing to say. "No," she said truthfully, "we won't. Today has been a one-off."

The moonstone ring was delivered to Lily in the evening. She wore it on the finger where her wedding ring used to be. She sensed that Phillip was not pleased, but that was his problem. The hotel organised a cabaret after dinner. Temple dancers. Ethnic and colourful. Lily had not wanted to go but Phillip had pleaded with her, so she had taken an extra anti-depressant and followed him along to the lounge area. She was glad she went, the dancers' vitality affected her and she actually enjoyed the show. Afterwards, she allowed Phillip to lead her to the bar. They ordered brandies, a small one for her because of her medication and a large one for him. She found herself talking to him, just like in the old days, before she hated him.

"Lily," he said, taking her hand while on his second brandy, "It was really an accident you know ... a burst tyre on the motorway .... I wasn't doing anything wrong ... it's been a while now, you must begin to heal soon."

She went to push his hand away but there was such a hopeless look in his eyes that it stopped her from doing so.

"There's not a day that goes by that I don't wish it was me who died instead of Karis. I really loved her. As much as I love you."

Lily stared at him. "I know," she said, "and I have punished you for two years but if you hadn't been driving she wouldn't have died ... It'll always be you at the wheel and it'll always be your guilt."

She undressed in the bathroom, she did not want her husband to see her naked body, and then she showered. Washing away all traces of the day forever. Phillip was watching TV when she returned to the bedroom. He turned it off quickly when he saw her. "I've arranged for us to go to the elephant orphanage and Kandy tomorrow. We can stay overnight and then visit a tea plantation the next day," he said.

"I'm not sure I want to go."

"It's our anniversary Lily. We have to get out a bit ... we've come all this way."

She settled down in her bed. "I'm tired ... don't dare try and touch me in the night.

"You're a bitch Lily. A prize one at that."

She tried to ignore the fact that he was in the room and whispered, "How would I feel if my husband died?" She put the moonstone ring into her mouth and protected it with her tongue.

She dreamt of her daughter. They were on the beach, Karis was stroking a baby elephant.

"He's got bristles on his head Mummy ... not soft hair like me."

Lily laughed, "Well you're older than him, you're seven - he's only a few months' old."

Karis laughed, like tinkling bells. Then the waves heightened, the baby elephant ran away and Karis was pulled away by the water. "Mummy," she screamed, "don't blame Daddy ... it wasn't his fault that I died."

Her voice became a series of muffled cries as the waves carried her away from Lily's outstretched arms.

She woke up with a start, she was choking. She spat the ring out and tried to breathe deeply. A stifled noise was coming from Phillip's bed. In the darkness she could just make out his hands and legs flailing wildly. Then he became motionless. She turned on the light. Sammi was standing over Phillip. He had a cord pulled tightly across Phillip's neck. She knew without looking closely that he was dead.

"Sammi," she screamed, "what have you done ... you've murdered my husband."

He looked flustered. "But he murdered your daughter Ma'am."

"He didn't ... I lied...they were in a car crash. He was driving .... she died ... it was an accident ... not his fault." She started crying. "Why Sammi? You're a Buddhist."

"An eye for an eye it says in your Bible," he said, "and I am not a Buddhist ... I am just like you¦I lied."

"Who are you? What are you?, she screamed.

He walked towards her bed and laughed, "I would imagine that I am your worst nightmare Ma'am. You can blame it on the moonstone if you like."