THE NIGHT BEFORE XMAS

SANTA

Santa surveyed his team in the rapidly dwindling daylight. Around him
stood several green clad figures with jolly frills and bells attached
to their garments, all trying to keep warm, despite the flurries of
snow that powdered the street around them.
"Right" said Santa, to nobody in particular, "lets go to work!"
The elves bustled efficiently around, and one by one followed Santa
into the stone building. Inside it was warm, and the snow that had
gathered on his beard rapidly melted. He looked around and noticed that
the place was nearly empty. It was after all Christmas eve. He made his
way over to the nearest person.
"Yes?" said the bank teller, trying hard to keep her grin in check as
she noticed his bright red garb.
"Id like to make a withdrawal, please", said Santa, rummaging around in
the sack he had brought with him.
"Certainly sir, how much would you like?" she enquired.
"All of it." Santa finished rummaging and produced an Uzi sub machine
gun, which he pointed directly at her face.
Santa directed the woman to fill his sack with money, and with piercing
blue eyes, glanced around. His elves were very efficient. Already Lucy
and Little Phil had taken out the cameras, Simon had rounded up the few
customer and was pointing his Uzi at them as they lay on the floor.
Nicola, the demolition expert, had taken position by the wall, behind
which, Santa knew was the banks large vault.
He checked his watch. 30 seconds had passed so far. In the next 10
seconds there would be a blast as the wall by the safe was blown in.
Then Steven the safe cracker would move in and work his magic.
Boom! The wall had disappeared, and Santa saw movement as Steven moved
into position. Suddenly, there was more movement. A young cashier was
making a dash for the red panic alarm, located on the far wall.
Santa raised his Uzi, and pulled the trigger. The chatter of automatic
gunfire echoed around the room. A line of small holes appeared in the
plasterboard wall close to the would-be hero, covering him in fine,
white dust. The cashier, deciding that the safest place to be was on
the floor, dived there, then stayed put.
There was a click as the vault door opened, and the elves began to fill
their own sacks with bundles of crisp notes. The smell of cordite hung
in the air as the rustling sound of lots of money reached Santa's
ears.
Suddenly his watch made a barely audible 'beep'. This was the
signal.
"Okay boys, lets go!" he yelled.
Santa grabbed his sack, and while covering the banks occupants with his
machine gun, retreated to door.
"Merry Christmas!!" he cried. Then he was gone.
Outside, the elves had already stowed themselves, and their loot, in
the back of the getaway car. Or rather, get away sleigh. Santa hurled
his sack into the back, then launched himself into the front seat. With
a flick oF the reigns, the sleigh moved off, gathering speed at a
remarkable pace. Within 100 yards they were airborne, and home
free.
"Ho Ho Ho!" thought Santa to himself. At last now he could afford to
take a holiday. Maybe Gran Caneria, or Australia, or anywhere hot,
where he wouldn't have to spend the Christmas holiday working, and
where there would be no bloody reindeers!

THE END