No more tears at Christmas

Johnny stared at the patterns on the window, left by the heavy
frost.
Not yet dawn, but he could not sleep, in fact it had been a long time
since Johnny slept soundly.
Tracing the outline of the crystal-like shapes with his fingertip, he
stared beyond the window, into the gloom of another Christmas Day
without his parents.

Johnny's parents were taken away cruelly, only two years ago, on their
way back from a Christmas Eve party. They could never have seen the
drunken idiot speeding around the bend in the wrong lane, and hopefully
they never felt any pain as the two cars collided head on.
Ironically, the drunk survived, and after only 18 months, he will be
able to enjoy as many Christmas parties as his conscience will let
him.

Johnny watched a robin, hopping along the white tinged lawn,
occasionally bobbing his head to ensure no predators were around.
His eyes welled up, and slowly, a silver tear trickled down his right
cheek.

He never cried in front of people, at 8 years old, he didn't want
people to think of him as a sissy, but he never played with the other
children either, not wanting to be part of the merriment and fun they
had.

Even though he was 6 when it happened, he punished himself every day
for not making his parents stay with him that Christmas Eve, and how he
threw a tantrum as they left, saying how he hated them and that he
never wanted them to come back.

Well, they didn't, and it was his fault they were dead.

A second tear started to flow down his cheek, when suddenly, a warm
sensation stopped it in its tracks!

Turning with a start, a bright light filled his room, forcing Johnny to
cover his eyes with both hands.

Slowly adjusting to the brightness, he made out a shape standing over
him.
As his vision returned, the shape became clearer, and he could make out
the features and then the face, and he stood with his mouth open,
amazed at the apparition in front of him.

"Mother?" the words were faint, without belief.

"Yes Johnny, its your mother" replied the angelic vision, with a smile
that encompassed the whole room.

"I have come to you Johnny, to stop your suffering" still smiling, but
this time taken Johnny in her arms, and giving him the hug he had
longed for, for so long.

"I feel your pain everyday, and cry your tears with you" she explained
"but now is not a time for grief or remorse, nor is it a time for blame
and misery. Today is Christmas Johnny, and your father and I have
suffered enough, watching you shelter yourself away from your
childhood"
She wiped the last of his tears away, and ran her fingers through his
hair.

"Its okay now mother, your back," sobbed Johnny, tightening his grip
around her waist.

"Johnny, I am back only to show you that your life is full and yet you
miss so much. I am here to share with you the love we still have, which
will never die. Every day you father and I are watching you Johnny, we
watch and wish that you will enjoy the life that you have."

She slipped out of his grasp as if it was not there, and beckoned him
to follow.

Opening the large wooden door, they both walked along the landing to
his Aunt and Uncles bedroom.
She opened their door and turned to Johnny.
"They love you as much as we do, and yet you wont share their time or
tell them that you love them too. Your Aunt and Uncle are both special
people Johnny, and they couldn't have children themselves. God has
given them the gift of you, and he wants you to make their lives full,
as you made ours."

Johnny was confused, "But you're my parents, not them!"

"Johnny, we are waiting for you in heaven, and we will never lose the
love we have for you. You are special to us and to them, but you must
stop blaming yourself for what happened. It was not your fault Johnny,
and so many people long to see you smile and play again. We want you to
be happy, so that we can be happy watching you enjoy life again"

"How can I be happy when you and dad aren't with me though?"

"Oh darling, we are always with you, and we will always love
you!"

She took his hand once more and led him to the front door.

The door opened by itself, allowing the dusk to invade the warmth of
the hallway.

"Look!" she pointed her finger, and Johnny followed the direction, to
see a bright star shining down, lightening the pathway that led to the
gate.

"That star is your father, letting you know that he loves you, and he
will shine every time you need to know that we are still there."

He gazed up at the bright light, and watched as it encapsulated the
whole of the garden, making the frost on the tree glistening like
tinsel.

"Johnny, I have to go back now and be with your father, but we will be
thinking about you all of the time. You need to let love back into your
heart and share your feelings with people. We want you to be happy and
play with the other children. Please Johnny, for us, let go of your
guilt and enjoy life once more."

The tears welled up once more, only this time he let them go.

"Johnny, we love you and always will. Your time to be with us will come
later, and we will wait for you in heaven."

She let go of his hand, and started drifting upwards towards the bright
star.

"Johnny, we love you!" were her last words as she slowly faded
away.

"I love you too" he replied, and then turned and ran inside.

He burst through the bedroom door of his Aunt and Uncle, causing them
to jump up in bed, startled.
"What is it Johnny, what's happened?"

"I love you both!" wept Johnny, now sobbing uncontrollably, "I am
really sorry for being so miserable, I want to be with you"

They turned and looked at each other and smiled.
The clock showed 5.30 a.m. but the time was irrelevant.

"Come on Johnny, lets go and open your Christmas presents," his Uncle
said.

"What do you want most for Christmas Johnny?" asked his Aunt

"I want to call you Mother and Father!" said Johnny.

They turned and looked at each other, and all three burst out crying,
only this time they were tears of joy.

"Do you know what?" asked the Uncle, "I think this will be the best
Christmas ever!"

The End

Angus Reid