O Noah's Ark (retold)

Noah's Ark (Retold)

Folk said that when God spoke to the Noah childe back when the world
was young, but old and tiring for all that, that just for a moment, the
ancient childe thought he might have gone fair skite! And maybe they
folk were partly right, it takes a fair puffed up body to think that
God would take the time oot of his day tae have a chin wag with the
lowest of the low. Nevertheless, the Noah childe heard that man right
enough, though all the villagers had their bit fun with him, treating
him like a touched cow. And my! God was a fair angry creature back in
them days - fell and grave he was. And the folk were right course never
minding the guid words of the childe on High. And all aboot the Noah
childe were sins and sinners till there didnae seem like a guid bone
walking the Earth. God, sitting up there in the heavens grew red in the
cheeks at the antics of them, fair in a claw, until he rose up with his
hands clenched as if he were aboot tae cleesh the lot of them! They
argued, and fashed, and stole and whored and killed a body for the
merest uttering abusing the guid gifts the God Almighty had bestowed on
this fine soil. Aye, nae wonder God was such a fell childe when all
creation seemed nae better than the sharn in a kye yard!
But he sat back doon on his dowp, the steam dying doon in his cheeks
and a wee bit sman crossed his face.

And it was settled. The Noah childe was to have builded a great boat
sheltering himself and his family and twa of every creature God had set
upon the good soil of creation. And a flood would come and finish the
sinful wee bisoms once and for all, dooking the world like an apple for
forty days and forty nights of rain!
But, still the folk laughed at the Noah childe, Faith! Building a boat
in the middle of the dry land they mooed. But when the guid weather
turned tae bad, and the first rain drops dripped from their nebs, their
smiles turned sour. And soon, the wrath of God was seeping intae their
houses, and barns, and washing away the hard won harvests - aye! we
heard the cries for God's mercy then! everybody whiter than white all a
sudden, till it seemed like every childe was a Saint of the Earth! But
God was having none of their chaving and let the rains pour and pour
until all their cries and pleadings were drowned and all a body could
hear was the sound of the wind and the rain.
Aye, it was mighty strange for the Noah childe, that silence. And all
a body could hear were the quiet sounds of God's creatures huddled two
by two in their stalls, scuffing and grunting as the boat shifted and
lurched and creaked under the strain of the storm. Yet, it did feel
awfa like being back at home by the fire the bairns gently snoring in
their bunks in the next room, that bit was fine.
Aye, and it was a fair bit time that the Noah childe spent swishing in
the waters of God's hate. And day and night the wind and the rain
cleeshed that boat till it was near split in twa.

Then, after what seemed like an eternity, the rain and the howling wind
stopped?

And the Noah childe and all that was cramped in that wee bit boat they
cried the Ark sat aboot waiting for the waters tae subside as God had
promised. Yet, wait though they might, still the Ark bobbed in the
floods till they all thought that they would all be forsaken and
perish. But the Noah childe kenned that the word of God was true. So,
the Noah childe sent oot a corbie whispering intae its wee black lugs
tae fly and find oot if there was any sight of God's Guid Earth. Days
passed and waters remained and nothing was seen of the black yin. But
the Noah childe wasnae tae be defeated sending oot a wee coodlin doo
the next morn. And that bird flew high and wide and far over the dirty
flood waters, brown from the cleansing of the sins of the fell folk of
God's Earth until Faith! There in the distance, keeking oot of the
waters, was the sight of the Lord's Land! And when the coodlin doo got
closer it be spied the fresh green leaves of an olive tree growing
proud and clean out of the dark soil and it returnit to the Noah childe
with a branch of that guid tree in its wee mouth and it was then that
the Noah childe knew God's promise was true and all the creatures
itched to walk the Earth again and cried oot with relief, Praise God
Almighty above, the Earth has been clecked again!

Glossary

Claw - annoyance
Cleesh - whip, lash
Clecked - hatched, reborn
Corbie - raven
Dook - saturate with water
Dowp - buttocks
Neb - nose
Sharn - shit
Skite - mad
Touched - daft