Paranoia
By nuncher
- 407 reads
PARANOIA
Ian had only taken his mobile phone out that day because he was
expecting an important call. When it did eventually ring he was
disappointed to realise it wasn't from the person he was expecting. It
was from his old friend big Geordie instead.
-Hello Geordie, he said answering it. -Long time, no hear big
fellow.
-How's it going? big Geordie asked. Before Ian had a chance to answer
Geordie had got down to business. -I'm only ringing because I thought I
should let you know that Susan's pregnant. Ian's heart skipped a beat.
He didn't know what to say. He was expecting big Geordie to launch into
him, tell him how he'd messed up his life. He gathered his thoughts
quickly.
-Fucking hell, he eventually said after realising big Geordie still
didn't know. -That's excellent news. Congratulations big man.
-Cheers mate, Geordie replied.
-How far gone is she? he asked trying to do the arithmetic in his
head. It couldn't possibly be his, he thought to himself. That was ages
ago.
-We don't know yet, Geordie replied. -We only found out a couple of
days ago ourselves. From that point on their conversation went down the
normal road: "That's all the lads a daddy now.", "Does your folks
know?", "Pass on my congratulations to the missus" etc etc.
Ian's fears were laid to rest in the following sentence when Geordie
said: -Oh I didn't tell you, but my wee brother is also going to be a
daddy. She's due in June, Geordie said which meant a September shag to
Ian. -Susan should probably be after that, Geordie continued and Ian
knew it wasn't his. Their little tryst was in late June which meant
she'd have to be pretty far gone by now for the kid to be his. The
conversation turned to more mundane, polite necesssaries. Ian thought
back to that crazy night when he had went to stay with Geordie and
Susan. Another one of their friend's, Ginge, had also come through and
after going to the pub they all went back to Geordie's to finish the
carry-outs that they had placed in the fridge earlier. After several
glasses of vodka and several joints Susan was minced and went to her
bed. The lads continued drinking, smoking and chatting. About half an
hour after she'd gone to her bed the living room door burst open and
Susan was stood there.
-I can hear yous fucking talking about me, she said before lifting her
top and exposing her chest. -Is this what yous fucking want to see, she
said. -Go on have a fucking good look.
Ian and Ginge looked at each other in shock before turning to Geordie.
He was just as amazed as them.
-Right that's it, he said struggling to stand up. -I've had a fucking
nuff of you, he said pulling her top down and pushing her back through
the door. She was struggling like hell and calling him every name under
the sun. For the next fifteen minutes Ian and Ginge listened to them
fight. They were laughing their heads off at what they had just seen
and at what they were hearing.
-Where the fuck did he find that bampot, Ginge eventually asked
Ian.
-He met her at the college where he worked, Ian said. -He had a job on
the tills! They both burst into fits of laughter again. Geordie was a
right thieving fucker.
-What age is she, Ginge asked.
-Eighteen, replied Ian.
-Fucking hell, Ginge swore somewhat amazed. Geordie was ten years
older than her. -She doesn't look that young, he said.
-That'll be the Geordie effect, Ian said. They both burst out laughing
again. As they did the shouting in the room next door stopped. A couple
of seconds later Geordie came back through alone.
-Sorry about that lads, he said sitting down. He grabbed his can of
beer from the table and drank it in one. -Fucking women, he swore and
Ian passed him the joint. -Cheers mate, he said taking a large drag on
it. He looked like he needed it.
-Is she okay, Ian asked.
-Aye, she's fine now, Geordie remarked. -It's just the booze. The
vodka especially. It drives her loopy.
-Sorry pal, Ginge said. He had brought the vodka.
-That's okay mate, Geordie said. -You weren't to know that.
-The conversation turned to other things and several more cans were
swallowed. Big Geordie was beginning to give it the nodding dog and
Ginge had already passed out on the floor when Susan came back
through.
-Paul, she said shaking him and calling Geordie by his proper name.
-Are you coming through to bed. She was wearing a skimpy nightshirt now
and Ian could see her breasts as she leaned over Geordie to shake him.
He told her no and closed his eyes proper. She sighed and looked at
Ian. -This is what I've got to put up with, she said. -Can I have one
of your fags Ian please, she asked nodding to his packet of
cigarettes.
-Help yourself, he replied. She took one and offered him one.
-Fuck it, why not, he said. -One more will not kill me. Geordie's eyes
were now firmly closed and he was beginning to snore. She put Ian's
lighter back on top of his cigarette packet and stretched herself
beside Geordie on the couch. Her legs were facing towards Ian and when
she opened them he could see she was wearing no underwear. She was
flirting with him.
-Do you want another, he asked her pouring himself a vodka.
-Go on then, she smiled. The straps of her nightie had fallen off her
shoulders and her large breasts were all but exposed. She had pulled up
her nightshirt so that her long legs were on show. She had done it
while he poured the drinks. He noticed immediately when he passed her
the vodka. He couldn't help himself but to take a good look. She wanted
him to look anyway, he reasoned.
-Cheers, she said laughing and raising her glass to him. As she did so
her nightie fell down off her chest completely exposing her large
breasts. Her nipples were large and erect.
-Cheers, he replied staring straight at them. As he did so big Geordie
stirred noisily and they both paniced, her almost spilling her drink as
she pulled her nightie back into place. They both laughed quietly when
they realised he was still fast asleep and only dreaming. Ian stubbed
his fag into the ashtray and removed an old roach that was still
smokeable instead. He was quite enjoying himself.
-Give us a puff on that, she stated as she got up and dropped her
cigarette into an old beer can. He watched her as she did so. He was
admiring her body. She turned and smiled at him before raising her
index finger to her lips. It signalled that she wanted what they were
doing kept secret. He was hardly going to tell Geordie, he thought to
himself as he shook his head back to her in agreement. She sat down on
the floor opposite him. Her back was against the wall and her legs were
spread. Her eyes were shut as she placed her right hand between her
legs and her left hand onto her chest. She was masturbating herself in
front of him and for his benefit. Just a couple of feet in front of her
Ginge was snoring like a banshee and oblivious to what was happening.
Ian decided to go with the flow as his erection was hurting him. He
unbuckled his jeans and pulled them and his boxers down to his knees.
Under the shelter of the blanket she had earlier given him he too began
masturbating. She opened her eyes and stared at him. She smiled and he
smiled back. Big Geordie and Ginge snored.
-Take your top down, he mouthed to her silently. She didn't
understand.
-What? She mouthed back smiling. He showed her with his hands what he
wanted her to do and she understood. She pulled her top down. Her
breasts were large and firm and the nipples were erect as she squeezed
them between her fingers. He masturbated himself furiously. She placed
her right nipple in her mouth and began sucking it. Ian was well
impressed with her and to show his delight he lifted the cover to show
her his erection. She stuck her tongue out and rotated it. It meant she
wanted to lick his penis. He put the cover back down. That was too
risky he thought to himself. He gestured for her to continue playing
with her large breasts which she did. Within the minute he had came. He
explained his situation to her by mouthing the words "I've came". She
stood up and left the room and returned several seconds later with some
toilet paper. She stood beside him while he cleaned up the mess he had
made. She put her hand out and he gave it to her.
-I'm going to rub this into myself, she said as she walked out the
room. He had worried himself ever since.
-Cheers for phoning Geordie, Ian said hanging up relieved.
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