Quest

I bowed down to my king,
And grabbed my sword and shield,
I'm off into battle I said,
And I'll probably end up killed!
Go forth, bold sir knight!
Rescue princess X!
I forget her name, but she means a lot to me,
And I promise you'll get lots of sex!

That sounds like an opportunity, that I couldn't miss,
So I plough through the desert and
the storms, and the snow drifts
I finally reach the tower,
She says climb my lock of hair,
I said I hope you're not that hairy down below,
And she said I shouldn't care!

I guess she's right, so I climbed up the plait,
As I entered her cell I could sniff the stink of rats,
That's not rats, that's me she said,
I haven't opened my legs since the last knight
ended up dead!
Balls I said! What kind of stupid quest is this?
The princess is more manly than me,
There is something amiss!
So she dropped her gown, what a sight to be seen,
Even in medieval times,
There were bloody drag queens!