Quorg Writes Again

" I wonder if the long distance telephone conversation that I had
with DGD counts as a reply..well nevermind, it will have to in my case!
After all I AM KING WITH ROYAL SCEPTER! "

My Dearest Domestic Goddess Deccie,

In our most recent conversation, ( by the way, I hope the collect call
wasn't too exhorbitant),
I told you about my godawful problems with the fairer sex..namely the
erstwhile sisters, Kalus Kow and the always stunning Cat's Meow. Kalus
is a jealous woman when it comes to yours truly, wanting all my money
and possessions, while Cat's Meow is of the more physical type, wanting
to scratch out not only my eyes, but other parts of the Royal Body as
well!

" Being an understanding woman of this great planet, Deccie will know
how hard it is to deal with feminine whines and wiles! "

All in all, I've learned that you cannot make someone love you, unless
you're loaded to the hilt with money, looks, and charm. And if none of
those war tactics work, then woo them the old fashioned way..not with
sweet talk, candy or flowers, but with the never ending stalk and
bushwhack!! That guarantees a fighting chance of them panicking and
ultimately giving in!

" Deccie will think I have the wisdom of the ages..ah yes, she will
consider me to be a Wise Old Sage in these, the best years of the Royal
Brain! "

My duties as King of Quorgania await...

" What's that you say, Doctor Koo Koo..my medication awaits and after
that, the restraints? "

I must close
Yours,
Quorg

" And to think it only took him 6 months to reply this time around!
"

My Dearest Friend Quorg
Worthy King Of The Purple Robes You Wear,

" Yada, yada, yada...yawn, yawn, yawn..as if the phone conversation we,
rather he had wasn't boring enough, it cost me an arm and a leg in
daytime rates!
Why in Heaven's name does he expect me to keep bowing, scraping
and
answering his sniveling drivel? "

I know the heartrending heartache that comes about when you give away
your heart and soul, only to have them stomped on and squashed beyond
repair, and then being physically whoopassed and squished beyond
recognition..I hope you have learned that the fairer sex is in no way
fair when it comes down to all aspects in the heartful war of
love.

" Maybe next time he'll think twice about playing two sisters against
each other for his affections..or in his case affectations! His rude
and boorish behavior towards Kalus Kow and the Cat's Meow was an
impressive showing..just as artificial and
tasteless as imitation goatcheese spread! "

You say that you've been writing to your cherished soulmate each and
every day, professing your deep abiding love, while receiving not one
perfumed envelope, not one iota of a word, written with pink ribbon
crayon or black indelible ink.You say you've given up old fashioned
notions of winning and wooing the lady of your choice..this might work
in your case, Quorg. No sweet talk to set her nerves on edge..no candy
to make her gain weight..and no beautiful flowers to compete with her
striking good looks. Stalking, then bushwhacking until she panics and
gives in?? I must admit your Kingly braincells are in overdrive
today!

" Quorg has never had an original idea pop into..or out of his
peabrained thought pool! hmmmmmmmmmmm I'll have to take a close look at
the Domestic Goddess Handbook bylaws and see if stalking is considered
a no-no. "

Quorg, my Dear Friend,

I hear the calling of my name by little voices who don't actually
belong here.
Please feel free to write when you can.

Your true friend,
DGD
Domestic Goddess Deccie