Second Chance

Important day it was. Interview. Just turned forty, free and finding
my new way- a fresh start. I could have soared, well- something like
that anyway. Ecstatic at having been invited for a second chance - but
nervous? Was I nervous!!! Pacing the floor to the rhythm of a pounding
heart. To the station in good time&;#8230;.mustn't miss the train.
Mustn't miss the train. Mustn't miss the train.

The caf? was full. Travellers en route to who-knows-who cares-where.
Bags in the way and stains on the carpet. A lukewarm, expresso and a
costly bun. No space with an ashtray to sit and have a roll-up, except
one very empty chair at a table in the half-light of the corner.

In the chair in the corner there was a man, similar age to me I
guessed, but not dapper like me, not dressed for a second-chance
interview at University. He wore a huge overcoat, of warm tatty tweed,
had own-cut hair and a pile of smelly stuffed-full bags stacked against
the wall.
Nowhere for me to sit.

"Mind if I sit here?" I said - politely enough but a little too loudly,
my voice rising above the scuffle of turning newspapers and
stranger-silence. A hundred eyes turned.

"Grrrrrrh!" said the man and snarled at me ferociously.
"Sorry?" I said and paled a little. (Pathetic I know!- but what do you
say to a man who says "grrrrrrh "to you? )
I sat down.
"Grrrrrrrh" said the man again and slapped his hands on the table.
Bang! Red-faced me, I could feel the heat travelling to my cheeks. I
pulled out my tobacco and asked if he wanted a smoke.
"Bugger off woman! Go and sit somewhere else" said the man snatching
the baccy and rolling himself a cigarette.
A hundred eyes watched.
"Why?"
"Why? WHY! ?" he snapped loudly, closely to my face "Because I stink.
I'm a drifter, a tramp, a b.a.d. man. I'm DANGEROUS. Give me change for
tea and fluff off!"
"Ok" I quietly said and lit my roly offering him a light. He scowled
deeply at me.
"People give me money and go away", he growled. "Do you do a
turn?"
"No" I said.
Silence.
I stayed. We smoked our cigarettes and drank our coffee.

"I had a house", the man said to his cup, " one yesterday".
"I had a wife I have a daughter, she'd be twenty-two now. I've been on
the streets for fifteen years. Its tough on the streets you know, you
have to watch your back."
"Do you like to drink?" I asked.
"Never touch it..nonononono". He shook his head.
We drank our coffees and smoked the cigarettes.
Silence. Almost. Just rustle rustle.

"I had clients to take to lunch in the company car. We talked business
and I bought the drinks on the expense account. I bought more drinks
and drank more drinks. It was an important account. I closed the deal.
Into the motor and back to work. Music blaring I was pleased with
myself. It was just past three thirty when I passed the Primary
school."

Quiet. A hundred ears listened.

"She didn't look. Came running out waving and throwing her bag in the
air. I couldn't stop. The car music blaring in discord with the
sirens.
She wouldn't move, they tried to make her move."

"When I came out of the Police station, - they kept the car- I walked
home. "Daddy's home" I heard my girl shriek in delight "Daddy's home".
The world stopped. Buzzing, a loud buzzing in my head. Then nothing. I
got up the stairs and pulled a suitcase from on top of the wardrobe. I
put some socks, a jumper and three pairs of shoes inside and went
downstairs. "You're home early" said my brown-eyed smiley-eyed Sandra,
reaching out her arms warmly for a hug. I slammed the door behind
me."

Bang! The heavy hands smacked down on the table. The coffee
quivered.
I heard a rumbling on the platform.

"My girl would be twenty-two now" The man said.

"I have to go" I mumbled and stumbled. "Train coming. Good luck" I laid
a pound on the table.
"Grrrrrrh Bugger off!" said the man.

Off for my second chance.