Story of my life (another installment)

Here I am again at the sillest time in the world, I should be in
bed. 11:53pm. All the feelings tonight are rushing towards defeat. No,
maybe defeat is the wrong word. In fact I have no word to tell you
exactly how I feel tonight. Crap-that is a pretty good word to use in
place of the word I can't think of. Sweet ramblings of my mind go on
hours after I have gone to bed. Oh if life were a bit more exciting. If
I had a life. At the moment my life is in a run down, three bedroom
house that nobody takes care of, a bunny who loves me dearly but likes
to use my bed as a toilet when I am not looking and a fiancee. Nothing
could be better with the fiance but soemtimes I fear things between as
are getting too domestic and feel I have to liven up. This involves an
argument over nothing, a day of ignorance and a good making up. I wish
things could be a little more simple. If only the housing association
in Scotland would turn around tomorow and say 'We have a house for you,
move in a.s.a.p'. I have never wanted much from life and now that I
want less than I ever have it seems too far out of my reach. Now I find
myself an unemployed writer. I never thought I could be a writer, but
i'm having a go at the amatuer stuff. If makes me feel good inside but
I have never had the imagination of talent. If only I would win the
lottery. my chance however, is even slimer that most peoples. This is
simply due to the fact that I don't actually do the lottery. I can hear
the wailing of serveral drunk people as they waltz past. They go
without a care in the world (apart from alchol poisoning, vomiting, a
killer hangover or alcoholism). The voice in my head keeps talking to
me and all I can think about is my bed upstairs. It calls to me. We
understand each other. It know's all of my intimate secrets. We share a
passionate past. It is my love in the world and for that I am eternally
grateful.