Thin Ignorance

One fateful night I settled down
To a feast of a meal-for-one
When I heard the most horrific sound
Like the apocalypse had just begun!

I shoved aside my tray
Turned off Sky News at Six
Pushed the TV out my way
And listened; what was this?

The din began to subside
So my panic and heartbeat slowed
Until a woman ten feet wide
Came gallumphing down the road!

I ran outside my flat
My eyes as large as moons,
"WHY IN HELL ARE YOU SO FAT?
YOUR LEGS ARE LIKE BALLOONS!"

I hollered at the hefty girl,
Expecting a hurt reply,
When she began to hurl at me
Abuse so harsh I cried!

"YOU'RE ALONE WITH A TV DINNER
YET YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE RIGHT
TO MAKE ME WANT TO BE THINNER
WHEN I'M HAPPY NOT BEING LIGHT?

YOU SKINNY PEOPLE ARE SO STRESSED
WITH EATING HEALTHY AND EXERCISE
WE DON'T CARE HOW WE ARE DRESSED
OR ABOUT THE MEASUREMENTS OF OUR THIGHS!

WE ARE RELAXED JUST BEING BIG
WE DON'T WISH TO SLIM
IF THAT MEANS ENDING UP
AS IGNORANT AS HIM!"

By now a crowd was watching
And I was turning rather red
So I told her she looked fetching
And ran right home to bed!

The moral of this story
Is to never judge by sound
It never leads to glory
You'll get trampled to the ground!

Looks are not so vital
As you soon will see
She married a male model
While I sat at home, with my TV!