THOSE WACKY IRAQIS

WACKY IRAQIS
I usually don't get into politics, but this is too good to pass
up?after all I write a humor column.
Reports from the Middle East say Iraq threatens retaliation for Western
assaults and revenge for U. S. and British attacks near Baghdad.
Quotes from Baghdad's official press stated, "The savage crimes will
not pass unpunished" "We will teach the Americans lessons in Jihad
(Holy War)"
Here's a good one broadcast on Iraqi television, (I get them on cable),
"We will fight them in the air, on land and sea!"
Another said, "We are ready to fight the enemy everywhere!"
I GOT NEWS FOR YA! Those Iraqis must be smoking wacky tobaccy!
These guys are really funny! They're going to fight us, "In the
air"?with what? They have no air force?"At Sea", no navy, "On land",
their ground forces are yellow bellies. I could be misinformed but I
think the rules of war establish that some type of an army be present
in a fight? Maybe they plan to stampede their camels?
Pardon me, folks! My judgement may be tainted? Forgive my ignorance. I
forgot about the Literary Translation Equivilazation and Definition
Transliteration and Interpretation Regimentation. In other words,
different words have different meanings in different languages.
Obviously the word, "fight," means something different to the Iraqis
than it does to us? Something completely different! Judging from the
Gulf War I would have to say "fight" to the Iraqis means, "surrender".
In that theater of war they couldn't surrender fast enough! Yeah, they
were all good "fighters"?except the ones who ran.
Saddam Hussein referred to the conflict as "The Mother of all battles".
I wonder what "Mother" means to them? I wonder if "That Mother" will be
told in their history books?
Ok, so let's go back to their quotes and see how it works? Let's
substitute "surrender" for "fight".
"We will surrender in the air, on land and sea." "We will surrender to
our enemies everywhere!" AH! Now that makes sense! And it fits their
past performances.
In yet another report, Saddam (sad dam) has boasted the no-fly zone we
are imposing is a failure.
Ladies and gentlemen, we must give the Devil his due. When he's right,
he's right. The no-fly zone is an utter embarrassment. We have failed
miserably.
Proof? You want proof? Can't you just take my word for it? Ok, I'll
give you proof.
Take a close look at any photo of Saddam. There are more flies buzzing
around his head than a four-seater outhouse at a chili cook-off!
No-fly zone in Iraq?I think not!
By George