VIRTUAL TRUTH ABOUT CLOWNS
By
- 425 reads
The Truth about Clowns
As I stood in the shadows with a cookie in one hand and a cup of
watered-down fruit juice in the other, I must have appeared out of
place to any guests seeing me for the first time. The event was a
birthday party for one of my dear friend's children, and although I had
no offspring of my own, I was there for moral support as well as
assisting in containment of the unruly horde that now ran amuck.
Several hysterical women approached me and stated, without a trace of
composure, they were astonished as to how I could just stand there and
do nothing. They were stressed out to the max and I swiftly realized my
original observation of a drug-related overdose was entirely
inaccurate?they were merely mothers!
I informed them I was on "cookie-break".
They were not impressed and continued to hound me to the point of I
myself losing composure. I told them the scene was out of my hands and
would not have happened in the first place if my suggestion of tying
and gagging the little devils had not been looked upon with disdain.
The remark was for their benefit.
The truth of the matter is I would never do such a thing. The kids were
just being kids and I loved them all, but I delighted at the depraved
glares the mothers bestowed in my direction as their stresses were
diverted.
The hostess approached me and said it was almost time for the surprise.
I remarked it was a surprise to me as well. She apologized and said she
thought she had told me about the clown. I shrugged my shoulders and
she said she had requisitioned a clown to perform at the party. Her
cell phone beeped and she answered it in a timely fashion. The
conversation was short and she quickly folded the phone and told me the
call was from "the clown".
I heard a loud musical note of suspense similar to those found in
chilling thrillers on the late show but quickly realized it was my
creative imagination getting the better of me. I realized the call from
the clown was no reason for alarm.
She informed me the clown called to say it was running a little late,
"but she would soon be here."
"What did you say?" I asked as I heard the musical note again and
realized, this time it was real.
"I said the clown was running late, but she will be here soon."
"She?" I asked.
"Yeah, she?it's a girl clown."
Oh the misery of it all, the deprivation, the naivete, the
incognizance, the scorn of the misinformed. I was completely caught off
guard by a modern day misconception that was once common knowledge
among followers of carnivals and circus folks. Principals of culture
seem to have changed, but basic laws of nature can not be overlooked by
cries for equality. Facts are facts?that's a fact!
"That is not a real clown," I told the hostess.
"Oh yes," she replied, "She comes well recommended!"
"Nevertheless, she is not a real clown?she is an imposter!"
"What are you talking about?"
"There are no GIRL clowns!"
"I beg your pardon?"
"There are no girl clowns?all clowns are males!"
"Well, this clown is a girl!"
"Then she is an imposter! All real clowns are male! Ask anybody at the
circus. There are no female clowns! Real clowns are all males, that is
why they can't reproduce!"
"Are you out of your mind?"
"Is that really relevant?"
Before the conversation went any further, the clown arrived. Through
the window I watched her get out of her tiny car. I wondered how she
was able to drive with the giant shoes she wore. I spied on her with
critical eyes but I could see no flaws. She had all the necessary
accessories, painted face, big red nose, baggy pants, a loud horn, and
a seltzer bottle that she used to squirt the kids. She looked very fit
and proper in her get-up, but under it all I knew she was a fraud. She
was a complete fake, except maybe for the big nose.
The truth is real clowns do exist. Their colorful faces are real and do
not wash off. They have big feet, and round red noses. They drive
little tiny cars and jam many of their friends into one vehicle. They
cannot talk but communicate by blowing loud horns. They appear to be
happy all the time. But they are not. Actually they are very sad
because all of them are males?there are no girl clowns
By George
- Log in to post comments