Who am I

Who am I?
I used to know
Shy, quiet, and mature
Sad and serious
But easy to read
Only one side
One mind
One heart
But now?
I’m split in two
At least
Maybe more
I act so different
If I was left alone
Who would I be?
Would I be who I always was?
Your normal run of the mill wall flower?
Or have I changed
Who hasn’t by the time they’re 14?
But sometimes I can’t find the old me
I don’t like who I’m turning into
My friends will all hate me if I say it
So I have to keep it to myself
But I know I’m mature
I always have been
But it’s worse now
All around me people are 14
Including boys
And I guess I scare them
16, 17, 18 year olds, no problem
I can wind them around my finger
But 14 year olds?
Nada. No luck. At all.
If I can get a “superior species”
To like me, to love me
Why can’t I get my own age?
My equals.
Horny. Lying. Cybering.
It’s not me.
It can’t be.
Please say it’s not.
Not me.
Never.
Please.
No.
I don’t want to change.
I can’t.
Who am I?