Under the Duvet

Hedgehogs do it.
Bats, dormice, squirrels do it.
Even those reluctant migrant tortoises do it.
So why don't we do it?
Why don't we hibernate?

Instead,
for four months of the year
we get up in the dark,
grope around for a few hours
in a semi-gloom
before scurrying back
to our warm and welcoming burrows.

Believe me, hibernation
would transform the world;
saving so much energy,
reducing those pesky emissions -
replacing global warming
with bedroom warming.

Relationships would blossom
through the proverbial
absence-making-heart-grow-fonder
and the avoidance of rows
bred by the dismal season.

And if we missed those winter festivals -
Diwali, Hanukkah, Eid and Christmas -
(not to mention Hogmanay!) -
we could all wake up one week
and celebrate together
before slipping back into slothfulness
until the swallows are seen again.

Is this a fantasy?
A hopeless dream?
Or is evolution even now
mingling the genes
of those who can't get up
on cold November mornings
to create into a new species.

The signs are all there,
the conditions are right.
The ideal human hibernatory
lair - TV, sofa, duvet - awaits
lethargic occupation.