D - The K Hole - Chapter Two "The Project"

Chapter Two - The Project.

So what is life at the end of the century? Searching for meaning,
another dimension to transcend the very baseness of our existence. Poor
old Kevin Dooley a victim of such a twentieth century malady. What's
depression if it's not a reaction to the times? These awful days in the
spiritual void of the world teetering on the edge of the precipice, had
he glimpsed the morass, the infinite depths - well I for one am not
surprised. What can you expect at the end of a century? Are we nothing
more than a collection of brain cells, islands unto ourselves -
fighting for our breath, choking, gasping as we endure the final throes
of life under late capitalism.

Looking for something that we can never hope to find? You know the
score, been there I'm sure. So we look for alternative solutions.
Manifestations of things than can transcend the mundane, the dull -
boredom is a killer. Some take up weird hobbies or jump on the
moth-eaten tailcoats of religion. Tantric sex, tai chi, yoga, join a
cult - there's many possibilities. However for the majority in these
dreadful times, living at the end of a century there's another
solution. Take Neil and Brad, you'll meet them as soon is soon. Neil
calls it the 'hedonistic imperative' but Brad rather eloquently calls
it getting 'out your fucking box'
- The tools, the saviours in question - well they come in all shapes
and sizes, powders, pills, liquids. It's stupid me telling you, as you
already understand I'm sure. The chemical age has come; the heroes for
our era are drugs. They offer the window of escape, a chance to see the
other side - I hate to use this word but I suppose they give an element
of the 'spiritual' something outside ourselves, in these so unspiritual
times.

Things are change fast these days, new systems, new personnel - this
weeks guru making pronouncements as analyst's analyse, coders code and
managers motivate. The information age has dawned and Dominion was
making sure it wasn't going to get burnt as the white heat of
technology fizzled. Kev had only been away for a few weeks but was
amazed at the revolutions that were occurring.
Teams had been split up and experts from a telecoms company cruised
around in sharp suits. A new call-centre was in the process of being
developed. They'd moved his desk in fact. He'd had a brief 'back to
work' interview with Trev and Fran, who were both welcoming
and seemed keen to have him back. There was talk in the office of new
positions arising on 'the project' something to do with a new IT system
coming up.
Still shaken by what had happened with Karen, Kev still found himself
gripped in fear every morning. Ironically though the shock had stirred
something within him a new resolve and drive. This time he was going to
fight, to plough himself back into work and never, ever give up. There
was no way he was going to slip into torpor and apathy, this time he'd
pull through. He'd apply for every job going and do his best job. Tired
of his lack of belief in himself, he deserved a whole lot better.

Neil Alanis and Brad Bowles-Prentice were the office bad-boys at
Dominion. Neil was the ultimate good time guy; he DJ'd at Meltpot an
underground club in town every Friday night, playing his mix of hard
house, eclectic techno and drum and bass. With his short, stocky frame,
designer threads and attitude of indifference to the management he
stood out in the office as something different. Unconventionality
rendered him highly attractive to the younger girls and bored women. He
mooched about the office during the weekday, slinking around the girls
in the administration zones, cruising about avoiding all work, whenever
he could. For Neil when things were good everything was 'nice', 'easy
tiger', 'sorted' and 'wicked' and when things were bad they were 'ruff'
as his defamatory lotus notes about 'Dominion PLC' expounded. Brad and
Neil lived for getting 'battered', smoking seven inch reefers, munching
pills on weekdays and on weekends spending oblivious cocaine fuelled
nights clubbing. Life for them was just a succession of parties, flings
and drugs. 'Hedonism' was their religion, maximum pleasure, minimum
effort their ethic. They'd raid the company cash machine even when
salaries weren't due for weeks and would seductively 'weasel' women or
'Doris's' as the beefy Brad dubbed them - even though the pair had more
than lovely girlfriends already. Managers would often scold and
reproach but Neil was one of those that are always getting away with it
and doing it with style. Brad was less fortunate and was under
perpetual disciplinary conditions, but basically to use his own
expression he frankly didn't give a 'flying fuck.'
Kev back at work and after an easy couple of weeks getting back into
the swing was asked by Trev to work on the project. The project or the
'Interactive Customer Database' as it was known was a new IT system,
which was supposed to supercede the existing systems within 6 months.
Kev listened whilst a bespectacled geek from systems development
outlined the aims and objectives.
"The ICD system will revolutionise life for Dominion's highly motivated
staff. Simplicity is it's essence, it will be both a front and back-end
office system......."
Neil who was sitting next to Kev curtly muttered, "Yeah, that's fa'kin
right. Joe fa'kin' ninety. Back-end arse end, for chrisakes Kev look at
the state of that screen print. Those imbecile windowlickers in systems
D haven't got a clue. It's absolute pants. Other thing is all the bugs,
Brad who's been a bit of a naughty boy recently got put on error
reporting on this shite system. Most of the time it's not writing back
to the mainframe system - the data is all corrupted or lost. We need to
go up to IS Development and sort those overpaid cunts out. What do you
say, eh? Anyway should be good for slacking. We can arrange pointless
meetings and skive like there's no tomorrow, you up for it?"

Kev had previously held Neil in both suspicion and dislike. He found
him lazy, arrogant and annoying. There was almost certainly an element
of jealousy present as well; Neil was the epitome of laid back cool in
contrast with the precocious intensity of Kev Dooley. However, this
time it seemed had a point and at this point in time he'd have done
anything to get out of the main office, since the split with Karen
things had been very difficult. Everywhere he went in the office, he
could hear her Brummie drawl. She was always moaning about something,
callously scolding new starters about their mistakes and making the
most inappropriate suggestions to management in team meetings. Kev was
beginning to despise her.
For the first few weeks after the split they'd remained on speaking
terms, Karen still living up to her role as a mothering figure. As she
became more and more patronising, unwilling to accept that Kev had
moved on and was a great deal better. Karen carried on as though he was
still gripped in the torpor of depression that he'd managed to drag
himself out of. He resented this and was now trying to avoid her
wherever possible.
"I'm glad we're still friends," she'd remarked, "it must be so
difficult for you with all your problems. If you need any help, only
ask." The patronising bitch.
Even the sight of her made him feel vaguely nauseous now though. She'd
scuttle in the office late, hair bedraggled, sometimes reeking of cheap
stale wine from the night before - revolting Kev thought, how on earth
did I ever go out with that! When he was outside one day chatting with
Brad on a fag break, she'd slinked round him until he managed to get it
into her head that he didn't want to talk to her.
"Who the fuck is that skanky grease bird?" Brad interrogated him.
"Oh, Karen Davis, I think her name is," Kev tried to deny knowledge of
her as best he could, "she's in Mary Lewis's team. Nasty piece of work
from what I gather."
"Well dude. You can do without Doris's like that cramping your style a
good-looking bloke like you. Hey, your single aren't you. You'll have
to go out round town with me a Neil, let your hair down and pull some
class pussy, eh? You up for that."
At that moment Kev, couldn't really thing of anything worse but he
thanked him just the same. This work on the project was a bit of a
breath of fresh air and he'd got to admit Brad and Neil were quite
amusing when they got going. No, perhaps he would consider going out
with them after all, fuck it - he deserved to have a good time after
all that had gone off.
A week or so by and Kev found himself more and more immersed in his
work on the project. Most of it was easy and it was rewarding
correcting the horrendous errors that the geek squad at IT development
were constantly making. Much time was spent at the various Dominion
sites around the country, or liaising with management at meetings. That
was one of the more positive aspects of working for Dominion, aside
from the corporate bullshit and requisite brown nosing at least there
was some fluidity and democracy in the decision-making processes. Trev
Morley had been instrumental in achieving this. As Kev listened
attentively at a meeting to him he couldn't help but be impressed,
"Integrating staff and giving them a stake in their company, a real
part in the processes and decision making is essential for a forward
looking organisation. For too long many companies have had a top down
mentality with top management making all the moves. However, I for one
don't know enough to make all the judgments - for example on IT, or on
new policy arrangements. I'm thankful that I have good staff around me
like Kev Dooley for example and even Mr. Bowles-Prentice over there,
when he's not attempting to molest my female staff - experts in their
field and our commitment to the development of staff ensures that we
can nurture their abilities. Dominion needs this approach to ensure we
stay ahead of our competitors in this challenging
market....................."
Brad was even stirred by this, shaking Trev's hand after the speech and
enthusiastically chatting about the project and the difficulties they'd
had with the boffin's from IT. It seemed that the project had brought
out the best in all three of them; whilst they had previously been the
enfant terrible's of the office each one of them now was growing in
confidence and respect.
This said however, Neil Alanis kept up to his word and was pioneering
away with every opportunity possible for slacking. Meetings were called
needlessly, expense accounts were flushed, litres of coffee were
consumed, the biscuit stock almost bankrupted and endless ashtrays left
a brim.
The three of them sat around at the Cock &; Spaniel after work one
Thursday night.
"Listen you two," announced Neil, "a fortnight today is when the system
is going to be test rolled out. Those dolly birds from training and a
couple from HR want to meet up for a night out so we can discuss how
were gonna promote it, well nice, eh.......................I've invited
them over to my place as my flat's bang in the centre of town and them
we'll hit a restaurant and then a club after or somethin'"
"Whoosh! Yeah, that Sophie Sapphire from training is a stunner. Dirty
as well so I've been told! She shaves her pussy and apparently she
takes it up the arse....." Brad grinned as he finished.
"OK, Brad you pervert. Anyway, I expect you're missus will be coming
along as well mine will be. We'll have to leave to charming to Mr.
Dooley here on this occasion. But, of course I'm sure they'll be room
for a degree of deviance. My mate Andy's got some wicked coke and pills
so I'd thought they'd make a wicked prelude before we hit town - sorted
or what?"
"Yeah, Neil - nice."
Kev looked at them apprehensively. He'd never been one for taking
drugs. He may have had the odd spliff or two whilst he was at Uni, but
he never enjoyed it. It had made him feel quite sick and on one
occasion totally paranoid for days. He'd locked himself in his room at
the halls of residence, convinced that Ninja warriors had been sent to
get him. Oh no, it drugs weren't his cup of tea at all. He didn't even
like getting pissed that often either.
"Well, I'll go along Neil. But don't expect me to take any of your
dodgy substances, you can treat your body like toxic waste dumps but
it's not for me. I'll get the fear or something. Another thing don't
try and set me up with that Sophie, I've had one office romance at
Dominion and believe me that was enough."
"Fine then Kev- take it fuckin' easy youth! As long as you're coming
but don't start any of your straight head holier than thou preaching if
me and Brad indulge in the odd class 'A's or three."
Next day at work, sitting in the bit of the office partitioned for
system testing Kev helped Neil organise the night out with the girls
from training. Might as well make the most of it, Kev thought. That
afternoon the programmers sent the most bug-riddled test version of ICD
he'd ever imagined.
"Neil, this is diabolical. All the amendments and suggestions we've
sent through and now this! It's fucking bloody unbelievable."
"Don't worry Kev. I'll get on the blower to Peter Ffizer - the head of
IS and if he don't listen Donald Gregson - the cunt of an IT director
we've got."
Minutes later, Kev started pissing himself with laughter as he listened
in to the verbal grief Neil Alanis was spontaneously concocting as he
was on the phone to some poor bugger who was dealing with complaints
about the ICD system.
"Listen...........oh, fuck that! Now, it seems.......if I can just get
a word in please! Well your system is shite, if we roll it out now
they'll be a riot and all the luddites with be out demanding we return
back to mainframe or AS-fucking 400 or something. Oh!
What..........listen.....somebody somewhere is having my pants
down..............get me Pete Ffizer and fast!"
Well diplomacy was never really Neil's strongest point. Kev supposed
though that he was a least getting the point across whilst he tactfully
sent out carefully worded Lotus Notes to members of the development
team. A double-edged approach always works best he mused to himself.
However, nights out and team building events were Neil's forte and a
week today things were all set for a scorcher.
I'll make it my place to enjoy myself for once, Kev told himself. He
was growing to like Neil and Brad more and more with each day. Perhaps
he would try a line of coke or two, what would be the harm. No - steady
on old boy he thought, I'm not quite 100\% as yet, don't want to ruin
all the progress I've made.
Later that night, as transient techno sounds echoed out in Meltpot.
Neil Alanis was sorting out the score.
"Twenty five pills and 3 grammes of Charlie, dude. Yeah nice
one............in a bit........................................" He'd
made sure that he'd got enough for next week after he'd sorted himself
out for this oblivious weekend! Whatsmore, he'd ensured that he'd got
enough drugs for Brad, for the Doris's from training and for Kev if he
wanted any. He felt in some ways a bit sorry for Kev. Such an
intelligent guy he thought and not too bad company now he'd got to know
him properly. What Kev needs is to let his hair down. Get the ride of
his life from some hot-bitch, he thought and then to get some drugs
down his neck. Neil couldn't understand people that didn't take drugs -
yeah; next Friday he'd get Kev to losing his class virginity. To be
fair on him he wouldn't pressure him, but him and Brad would show him
the ways, the good times, the camaraderie and joy's of life in the
chemical generation.