A crush

If I really love you
Then why mustn't I tell?
A hidden demon, deep down
But is that what love is?
Tearing away who I am
Why can't you understand!
I don't say a word
But doesn't it show anyhow?
It hurts to think about
I know you'll laugh
No, actually, you won't
Didn't think I understood, did you?
Your face would grow cold
You'd walk or run from the room
No, upon a thought, you'd stay
But you wouldn't say a word
Just stare me down, not blinking
And I'd shrink back, away
But I'd still love your eyes
Then I'd leave, fleeing pain
Then what would you do?
You'd forget it ever happened
Just like you have before
This is so frustrating!
I don't want to, but I will
We're not meant for each other,
Are we?