Crush

I think that I have a crush. I do not yet know his name, but I know
him well enough to know that I want him more than a man stranded in the
desert wants a glass of water. His hair is dark brown, and his skin is
colored as though his ancestors spent much time in
the sun. He drives a red convertible, a very flashy car. I do hope that
he isn't compensating for something, as that would be very
disappointing. And I will find out. I know him well enough to know that
he won't be able to resist me.


Bella is waiting in the foyer, dressed in a long black dress
for her date with "her Romeo". I do not know what his real name is. I,
of course, am being taken along, as they seem to fear that I will flee.
At least they are that intelligent. So, Bella spent two hours with me
in some department store picking out a dress for me to wear tonight,
and then she put makeup on me and piled my hair atop my head in some
fancy style. I felt like I was going to the damn prom, only this night
wouldn't end with love and mind melting sex. At least not for me. Bella
was certainly excited enough for me to think that she might be getting
laid tonight. Of course, perhaps she doesn't find joy in such things,
and gets so excited about a fancy dinner at a restaurant where the
women aren't even allowed to know the prices of the entrees.



"Would you smile? Be happy. Tonight will be fun" She said to
me. I smiled as fakely as I could, to show her that I really didn't
give a fuck about what she said. "You are impossible."


"I try very hard. You have deodorant on your dress"



"What? Where?" She exclaimed as she rushed for the bathroom.
I smiled for real this time. I love lying.


"Your date is here" I called to her.


"Crap!" She said as she came rushing out of the bathroom. She
did a 360 in front of me, holding her arms up like she was walking
through a field of weeds. "Did I get it?"


"Yep" I replied. There wasn't anything there to begin with,
though now she had a big smudge of baby powder on her rear end. She
looked out the window and frowned.


"I thought you said he was here? There's no car outside."



"I know. But the neighbor's dog just pissed on the bushes."



"Oh, Lola, you are so frustrating! Are you never nice?"



"Yes"


"So why don't you try being nice right now?"


"I said that I was never nice, not that I was sometimes
nice."


"You make me wish somebody would order a contract on you"



"Oh, so I'll be dead and happy? How nice of you to want me to
be happy" Bella grunted and went to her bedroom to touch up her makeup,
or cry in private. One or the other.


Somebody knocked on the door. I heard no movement from the
direction of the master suite, so I got up to answer the door. With any
luck, it would be her date and I could get him to leave and tell her
that she had been stood up. That would be a great laugh. It couldn't be
her date, I thought as I looked out the window. It was my crush. I
smiled as I opened the door.


"What can I do for you?" I asked.


"Shit?I forgot about you. What did you do with my car?"



"I have it stashed in case I need it."


"You do know that I could call the police, don't you?"



"It would be very unwise to do so. You do know that the car
is stolen, don't you?"


"Well?Anyway, may I come in?"


"Sure, I guess. Have a seat. Want a drink?"


"No, no thank you." It was then that I noticed that he was
wearing a suit. And that his hair was combed into place. Shit.



"You must be here for Bella"


"Actually, yes. Where is she?"


"She left"


"What do you mean 'she left'?"


"She's not here, is she?"


"You're lying, Lola. She's in her bedroom. I can smell her
perfume." With that, he got up and headed down the hall. I sighed and
sat back on the couch, flipping through that various channels on the
TV. I eyed the phone. Perhaps I could make a long distance call to
India or Guam. Now that would be fun.