She's a bitch!

Terri sat down at the table, crossing her legs. She unzipped her
left boot, then the right one, the she dropped them on a heap on the
floor next to her chair. She smiled at me, a perfect, movie star smile.
I'll be damned. The bitch is mocking me. I smiled back, sweetly as
saccharine.

"Nice shoes" she said to me, sardonically. Looking down
self-consciously at my used-to-be shiny black boots, I wished her a
very unpleasant death. They weren't quite up to my knees, and the
zipper was broken, and then fixed with a safety pin. It was obvious the
closest they had ever been to being real leather was dreaming that they
were dreaming about it.

"Fuck you" I spat.

"I think I'll leave that to my Grant, if you don't mind" I glared at
her, snatching the bottle of cognac that I had found earlier in Grant's
top cabinet. I took a swig, then sat down across from her, and took
another, more lady-like sip. "Aw, what's the matter, is widdle Shadow
jealous?" she simpered, sticking out her lower lip. I flipped her
off.

"No" I retorted defensivly.

"Don't lie. It doesn't suit you."

"Don't live. It doesn't suit you"

"That's not very nice. I might have to tell your mommy on you"

"I might have to hurt you"

"I'd like to see you try"

"Not right now. I wouldn't want to stain Grant's nice linoleum with
your blood"

"Chicken" She stood up. So did I. I took the last bitty sip of cognac
from the bottle and slammed it on the table.

"I'm leaving. Buh-Bye" and I strolled out of the room as well as I
could after cognac. I wretched open the screen door and paused before
going completely outside, the heat suffocating me. It had gotten up to
103 today, and it had only cooled to 92 after the sun had set. The
humidity was still oppressive, and it was foggy. I stepped down onto
the porch and slammed the door behind me. I stomped down the steps,
completely forgetting the bottom one. I lost my balance, and fell to
the ground. I hoped that Grant, who was about thirty feet away toiling
away on his new boat, had not noticed me take a nosedive.

Recovering as much dignity as possible, I stood up. I saw Terri
laughing at me in the window.

"Bitch!" I yelled as I began picking my way back up the rickety steps.
She stepped outside to get a better view of my tribulations, so, I did
just as any person would do. I took a leap and caught her around her
knees, knocking her the hard wooden planks of the deck. I clawed at her
face and grabbed at her hair, and she did the same, both of us trying
to make the other as ugly as possible until I was lifted off of her.
Grant's voice rumbled behind me

"Now now, what are a couple of pretty little gals like you fighting
like this for?"

"She's a bitch!" We both screamed in unison. Grant set me down behind
him as Terri lunged for me.

"Calm down!" Grant said. "Now, Shadow, why is Terri a bitch?"

"Because?because she has fucking awesome boots!"

"Perfect. And Terri, why is?"

"Because she drank all your cognac!"

"Shadow?" Grant began.

"She provoked me!"

"Well, anyhow, you're not driving. Come inside. You too Terri. Maybe we
should call my mother?"