Useless

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I was never good at Mathematics. I never got more than the passing
marks in that subject. And most of the time I did not get that either.
I was fortunate that I did not have to repeat any class in school. Our
Maths teacher Mr Johnstone always said that I was useless. According to
him, a person who did not know and understand the infinite beauty of
Mathematics knew nothing at all. I often felt that Mr Johnstone saw me
as less than a human being. His favourite students were Neil and Barry.
These two people always got the sums right in class. They were never
punished for not doing the Maths homework as I often was. Well I never
understood fractions. I was at a loss to understand which side of an
equation to solve. And simplification problems which Mr Johnstone
called 'staircase sums' I feared like the plague. I was good at other
subjects particularly Geography but Mr Johnstone did not appreciate
this at all. He only liked Mathematics and the people who could master
the subject. His period began with checking of the previous day's
homework. And after he was through with that he always gave Neil and
Barry a chocolate each. Because they always got the sums right. And I
got most of my sums wrong and would be asked to stand on my table. What
a shame it was to be standing while the whole class sat comfortably.
But this does not mean that I hated Mr Johnstone or something. I
realised that no one in the school knew Mathematics like him. His
lectures were lifetime experiences. He scolded me because I was not
good at Maths. He punished me because he wanted me to improve. He did
not despise me or something. I believed and I still do that Mr
Johnstone always had my well-being at heart. But I just could not
understand the numbers and their manipulation. Mathematics was becoming
a regular nightmare for me. Then, I became interested in films.
Particularly, in the actress Sally Boot. She was pretty and elegant.
She could sing and dance like a dream. I was fifteen years old then. I
told my parents that I wanted to go to Bombay to act in films. My
parents were regular middle class folks. They were shattered to hear
that I had no ambition of becoming a doctor, architect or a lawyer.
Nevertheless they asked me to wait till I completed college. But I had
other ideas. In the next module test I failed in Mathematics. I stole
my mother's jewellery, sold it, and took the train to Bombay. I was
determined to act opposite Sally Boot and hold her in my arms. Well,
she was about seven years my senior. Well, my stint in Bombay was not
successful at all. I was not able to meet anyone who matters. After my
money ran out I returned to Calcutta with my tail between my legs. No
school was prepared to admit me. So, here I am, with educational
qualifications of ninth grade pass. I have a small book shop on College
Street. I am thirty years old now, married, with a son. On a Sunday,
last month, I found Mr Johnstone lying unconscious on College Square. I
took him home and he has been living with us ever since. It seems he
has a heart problem and little money. His favourite students Neil and
Barry were approached for help but they refused to recognize him. Well,
Mr Johnstone was my teacher. He showed me light though I was not
capable of receiving that light. Naturally, its my duty to look after
him in his old age. These days, Mr Johnstone helps my son with his
Mathematics. He tells me that my son is good at Maths, quite unlike his
father.