Bubbles Always Burst

"What's the very best thing that could happen to you right
now?"
"I could get a phone call or a message."
"Saying what?"
"That somebody loves me and everything's gonna be alright."
"But you're not going to are you?"
"Not unless you have one for me? You haven't I take it?"
"No, I haven't...don't sound disappointed."
"I'm not disappointed, it's just my luck..."
"Nothing is just your luck. Your luck is everyone else's luck. Luck is
chaos
and life is chaos."
"Where does that leave me?"
"You've got to find your own path through the chaos. Whether you choose
to let
all those atoms, all those people and events batter and push you around
or
whether you move and sway with the tide. It's up to you. I know which
I'd rather do."
"What if, in all of this chaos, nobody chooses to bump into little ol'
me, or what if
I dodge all the atoms, all the raindrops. What if I go somewhere no-one
can find
me?"
"Chaos will always find you, whether it's good, bad or indifferent,
someone or
something will bump into you. Bubbles always burst."
"What if I burst my own bubble?"
A pause.
"Have you ever tried?"
"I'm here aren't I?"
"So not seriously?"
"You don't take me seriously do you?"
"I take all my callers seriously, do you take yourself too
seriously?"
"Seriously? Isn't life serious enough?"
"Why should it be? We're not all put here to do great things. Some die
before
we're even born, some don't even know that they've actually been born
and that's
all chaos, all math, big numbers."
"I can see that, but it is serious when you can barely make it through
the day, when
you don't know whether you'll ever sleep well again and when you've got
no-one
to hold you at night. That's serious."
"And I can see that but listen, what you have to ask yourself is why.
Why haven't I
got someone? Because I lack self confidence. Why haven't I got a job
I'm worthy of
and that pays well? Because I wait for things to happen to me. Why do I
find life so
bloody hard and have to take it so seriously? Because I spend my life
thinking
about the first two things."
"But..."
"Let me ask you. When was the last time you spoke to a stranger,
someone you
didn't know, and I don't mean shopkeepers, bus drivers or beggars
asking for
change?"
Silence.
"Do I take that as a never?"
"No of course not never...Ha! I phoned you didn't I?"
"You knew me , well you knew my voice and knew I would listen and
you've trusted
your problems to me."
"That's why I called you."
"Exactly. My point exactly. You spoke to me because you knew I would
listen."
"What exactly is your point?"
"The point is that the reason you don't speak to other people is that
you feel that
they won't listen. What could little ol' you possibly have to say that
people could
possibly be interested in? Besides you've got problems, you're not
normal, never
normal. What business have you got talking that young man over there?
Is that
how you feel?"
"That's it, that's it exactly."
"Don't you think other people have problems too?"
"Of course, they must have."
"Not only do they have problems too, they have the same problems as
you. It's
called self esteem. It's what hundreds of thousands of Americans pay
therapists
millions of dollars evey hour for every day. Getting to the bottom of
why they feel
ashamed of themselves."
"So what are you saying, there's nothing wrong with me?"
"I'm saying everyday folk, just like you, just like me, just like the
bloke in your local
pizza shop, just like every pop star and every truck driver and window
cleaner feels
like they could be doing more with their lives in one way or another
but we're all
too stupid to get out in the world and actually talk to each other
about it. Look at
me, I hide behind this microphone, writers hide behid their pens,
singers behind
their songs. Go and make some friends tomorrow. Go and burst some
little
bubbles before you burst the big one. What have you got to lose? Any
way is there
anything else I can help you with?
"Yes, if you can give me the balance on my cheque account and I'd like
to cancel
a direct debit please."
Paul finished the call and looked up at the electronic queue on the
wallboard above
his head. This was gonna be a long night.