My Dinosaur Era Chapter 20

 

on the airport bus into bilbao, ginny asleep on my shoulder

never told me she was scared of flying

took some pills, cocktail cans on the train to gatwick

three quickfire pints at the airport

worried they wouldn’t let her on the plane

she smiled at all the security people

they all smiled back, charmed her way through

 

at the bus station, nudge her awake

hey, we’re here, I say

she opens her eyes, they look like they were stuck together 

have we landed, she says

jesus, I say

what, she says

we’re on the bus, we’re in bilbao, I say

where did the plane go, she says

come on, we need to get off, I say

have to almost carry her off the bus, glad she’s tiny

on her feet, she looks at me, looks around the dark bus station

it’s not very sunny, you said there would be sun, she says

we’re underground, come on, I say

staying calm, she’ll be fine, those pills were good

might need one myself soon

 

I pull her up the steps to ground level, there is sun

it’s only april, it’s warm, not blazing, I glow

ginny steps into the light, blinks, comically

like a wee bear that has just woken up from winter

oh, that’s better, she says

drag ourselves along the pavement, bones stiffening

muscles unwinding slowly, hours of being bent

past the football stadium, down to the river

ginny, hidden behind giant sunglasses

looking like a goth jackie o

I smile at her, maybe I laugh

what are you smirking about, timmy, she says

you, you’re funny, I say

yes, I suppose I am, can we sit down soon, she says

we’ve been sat down for hours, I say

please don’t make me walk for miles, I will hurt you, she says

we’ll just walk along the river for a bit and find somewhere for a drink, ok, I say

it’s not pretty, you said it would be pretty, she says

I didn’t say pretty, the old town is kinda pretty,  besides, we’re behind a football stadium, give the place a chance, I say

hmm, I guess, she says

look, there’s the river there, I say, pointing

I’m too tired to look, she says

we’re almost there, take it easy, I say

ok, just not too far, I have little, broken legs,  don’t they have uber here, she says

yes they have uber but we’re only going to walk for a few minutes, I say

she stops at a bench, sits down, lights a roll up, I sit down too, resigned

I’m sorry, I will be better once I wake up, once I’ve had a drink too, she says

it’s ok, I’m knackered too, need a glass of rioja, I say

wine, ugh, they have beer here, right, she says

of course they have beer here, we haven’t gone to another planet, I say

I like beer, she says

yes, the whole world is aware of that, I say

she smokes her tiny smoke, I sit, stare out over the river

the sun is hazy, golden, rays floating around us

we stand, put my arm around her shoulder, pull her along

she walks a bit faster now, enlivened, looking around

I feel better now, she says

good, I say

the guggenheim comes into view, I smile at its silvery wonder

what the fuck is that, she says

it’s the guggenheim museum, I must have showed you pictures of it before, I say

oh darling, I only take in about twenty per cent of what you say, I’m sorry, she says

well, pay attention in future, I say

it’s fucking huge, and like, really silver, she says

that it is, I say

can we go inside it, she says

it’s a museum, yes, we can go inside it, I say

not now though, another day, she says

yes, another day, I say

look, there’s a cafe place thing up there, can we go, she says

sure, I say

 

sat at at table outside the cafe

it’s really big, that museum thing, she says

yeah, huge, I say

is it cool inside, she says

yeah, it is, just the building is incredible, the art is crazy good too, I say

timmy, she says

yeah, I say

she pauses, sucks in some smoke, puts her hand on my knee

I’m sorry that I have been such a pain in the arse, she says

it’s ok, travelling is weird, even little trips like this, I say

still, I should be better at this, I’m glad we are here now, much as I love brighton, I think it throttles me sometimes, she says

we sit in the fitful sun,the drinks revive us

we settle into a natural rhythm of observing people

walking alongside the river, stopping to listen to the buskers

dwarfed by the silver wall behind them

ginny smokes endless cigarettes

making up for the hours of nicotine gum

at the airport, on the plane

I’m seriously hungry, I say

you know, I wasn’t till you said that but I am now, she says

there’s a bar that does snacks and stuff in the museum, it’ll save us a trek, I say

oh, do they do those pingu things, she says

pinxtos, darling, yes everywhere does really, I say

and beer, she says

yes, and beer, I say

ok, let’s go, then we nap, right, she says

then we nap, I say

 

pintxos were consumed

sausage, egg, bacon, like the one I made in brighton

yet, nothing like the one I made in brighton

the sausage another species

the egg yoke an actual shade of yellow

the bacon thin, crispy, my mouth tingled

ginny, went all in on the fish

salmon, anchovy, prawns, more beer

eats so much for her size

baffling that she’s not fat

burns it all off with angst and rants

this is not even close to being the best place for these, I said

these are amazing, how can it get better, she said

 

hotel check in time came, new energy propelled us there on foot

ginny hardly complained, even up a slight hill

the hotel was neat, functional, a chain, cheap

we entered our room, booked one to save money

fuck me, that’s a big bed, she said

and it was, the biggest bed I had ever seen

well, that’s a bed made for napping, she said

definitely, I said

without even looking in our suitcases

we lay on the bed in silence

the holy napping hour was dawning

 

awake, ginny pressed up against me like last time

despite the bed dimensions, we have converged

I slide myself out, go for a piss

switch on the tv, let the spanish words rattle around my head

ginny stirs, turns one way and then the other, confused

fucking hell, I forgot I was here, she says

well, you are, I say

thanks timmy, that’s helpful, she says

I sit on the bed next to her

how are you feeling, I say

hmm, yeah, fine, need a shower, she says

same, shall I go first, I say

yeah, I’m going downstairs for a smoke, she says

 

in the shower, water pressure is off the scale

nearly knocks me off my feet

hard jets jostling me around the cubicle

feels more like a boxing match than a wash

step out, dry myself

smear my entire body in free moisturiser 

walk naked into the room, forgetting that we are sharing

she’s not there, still smoking, down there somewhere

my phone spews out a noise

first time today I think of petula

her big weird face comes full into view 

I’ve missed it, even just the memory of it

just a message from my sister, never usually in touch

wants to know if I am free this week, she’s in brighton

no, I reply, I’m not in brighton

I’m away