My Dinosaur Era Chapter 53 [The Actual Full Epilogue]

 

mum died six weeks after our visit

abdominal aortic aneurysm

her neighbour found her 

sprawled out on the bathroom floor

they say it would have been really sudden

just lights out

 

I travelled up to the house with petula

michelle was already there

we hugged briefly

so light that it felt like a shadow

petula next to me

michelle looked at her, bemused

 

    michelle, this is petula, petula, my sister, michelle

 

    hello, nice to meet you

 

michelle looked at me

her eyes said

where the hell did she come from?

I smile, she shuffled me into the kitchen

petula sat on a sofa

 

    where the hell did she come from?

 

I laughed

 

    what’s so funny?

 

    your face, incredulous, like the impossible notion that I may have a woman in my life

 

    it’s not that she's a woman, tim, it’s that she seems normal

 

    you can tell that from just saying hello?

 

    no, I suppose not

 

    she is normal, well, as normal as me anyway

 

    how did you meet her?

 

I thought to try and answer honestly

how did I meet her?

I wanted to say that it’s a long story

 

    she’s a friend of ginny’s

 

    who’s ginny?

 

    my best friend for the last decade

 

    oh, right, maybe you’ve mentioned her before

 

I hadn’t

we are floating around in space

oblivious to each other

out of the same parents

diverging hard ever since

 

    she’s pretty

 

    yes, she is

    

    is petula her real name?

 

    I don’t actually know

 

    you’ve never asked?

 

    no

 

we stood in the kitchen drinking tea

the silence so deep

the house so devoid of spirit

five foot mum had filled the place

this giant house

with rooms I have never entered

that we didn’t even grow up in

a far cry from the housing association flat

the cement works one side

a mechanic clanking away on the other

the ferocious alsatian that guarded the alley

 

I said goodbye to michelle

she hugged petula this time

we sat in patrycja’s van

the engine off

the silence followed us

 

    are you ok, timmy?

 

    yeah, I think so, it’s different to when dad died

 

    why’s that?

 

maybe because this is the actual end, like when dad went, there was still mum and how her life would be after, but now this is it, there are no more chapters for them now

 

I started the engine

pulled away down a hedge lined road

turned left at the sign for brighton

we joined the main road

I looked over at petula

 

    can I ask you something?

 

    of course, timmy

 

    is petula your real name?

 

    you are funny

 

    why?

 

    what a time to ask

 

    oh right, yeah, I guess

 

    yes it is my real name

 

    not that it matters

 

we pulled into a space near the flat

turned off the engine

turned to petula

 

    I think we should buy a house

 

    a house?

 

    yes, the flat is too small

 

    it is small

 

    somewhere cheaper than brighton but still near the sea

 

    yes, ok then

 

    I’ll have to talk to ginny and patrycja too

 

    yes, we are all in this together

 

    yes, we are

 

we all sat around the flat that night

petula looked at me

silently telling me to say it now

 

    I’ve had an idea

 

a few beats of silence, till ginny piped up

 

    aww, timmy, your first idea

 

    I’m serious

 

    we’re all ears, babe

 

    I want to buy a house

 

    and I want to snog courtney love, so what?

 

    I want to buy a house for all of us, I’ve been working it out

 

    fuck, you are actually serious

 

    yes, you know I’ll be getting half the money from mum’s house, right?

 

ginny nodded, engaging properly for the first time

 

    well, I think I should buy a house, for us, all of us

 

    but half your mum’s place won’t buy a house in brighton, will it?

 

    no, but that’s it, we can be anywhere

 

    so where then?

 

    somewhere cheaper than here but still by the sea, I still want that

 

ginny bit her lip, like she was thinking really hard

she shrieked, patrycja looked up from her phone

a disapproving glance at her noise

 

    fuck, it’s obvious, timmy

 

    what’s obvious?

 

    where we need to move to, it’s fucking obvious

 

    where?

 

margate, we have to move to margate, it’s way cheaper than here, the beaches are fucking lovely, botany bay, we can move to fucking botany bay

 

it turned out she was right

she’s always right, dammit

we did the sums

half the money I inherited 

equalled

a four bedroom house in margate

with a decent lump to spare

 

I sat on my sofa one night

looking at the numbers on a piece of paper

petula’s neat writing laying it all out for me

patrycja sat down beside me

took the paper from me

 

    you should not think about the numbers so much

 

    what should I think about?

 

don’t think about it at all

 

because I already know it is the right thing to do?

 

I don’t know, you tell me

 

the winter came

living in the van in england was cold

ginny took a leave of absence from work

the hotel glad of the wage relief throughout january

her and patrycja took the ferry back to bilbao

stayed a few days there

drove all the way down to near cadiz

 

they sent photos from their seventeen degree coast

we replied with ones of ours draped in snow

me and petula hired a car 

drove to margate in early february

the beaches were empty, iced

cormorants sat atop the groyne markers

wings outstretched

inviting the breeze to dry them

 

we had found a house 

not by botany bay but nearby

in the depths of cliftonville

a couple of minutes from the sands

four huge bedrooms

one each, we both said at once

all the rooms full of remnants of a life

that had already run its course

the garden so overgrown it was lost in itself

 

I made the offer right there to the agent

he laughed, thinking I was joking

his face settling down when he saw I was not

there was a back and forth over the next week

a phone call

second offer accepted

I looked at petula

 

    fuck, we’ve bought a whole house

 

on ginny and patrycja’s return

all four of us drove there in the van

ginny ran around the rooms

invading all the space at once

patrycja as inscrutable as ever

wrinkled her nose at a rotten window frame

I pointed through the glass

 

    there’s a driveway for the van 

 

she looked out over the concrete hard standing

 

    yes, the right size, very good

 

I smiled

satisfied that this was the most effusive she had ever been

with me at least

 

we walked along the beach, heading east

ginny, leading the way

back in her homeland

guiding us all the way

patrycja with her arm over her shoulder

keeping her from straying too far

 

petula holding my hand

walking in time with each other

ginny turned her head back towards us

shouted

 

timmy

 

    yeah?

 

    you had better be looking at my arse

 

    don’t worry babe, I am