My Dinosaur Era Chapter 6 *Rewrite*
By beanzie
- 86 reads
I have been summoned to meet ginny in a pub
her terse message made me nervous
this will be about petula
how I fucked it up
I sit in another pub before meeting her
in front of me is a pint of guinness
I don’t know why I bought it
I never usually drink it
a comfort drink
a cove to shelter in when the weather is rough
petula will have spoken to her
it was three nights ago
she hasn’t spoken to me since
we didn’t swap numbers
so I guess she could not have
even if she had wanted to
ginny hasn’t spoken to me since that night either
that’s usual though, she drifts around in her own time
I might have a shot
not tequila
it’s only two in the afternoon
has it come to this
yes it has
the shot enlivened me
black sambuca
the devil’s own work
I put the glass down on the table
the door to the pub swings open
ginny stands there hands on hips
brown boots up to her knees, leather jacket
fingers adorned by a dozen or more silver rings
she looks like a pirate from another dimension
she has a slight glare
a few percent more than normal
she might be pissed off at me
perhaps she’s just had a bad day
we weren’t meeting here
she has tracked me down
she comes to my table
pre-ginny drinks is it?
I was just passing, how did you track me down?
track you down? don’t flatter yourself sunshine, I saw your huge bald skull through the window, glowing like a harvest moon
she spins around and goes to the bar
I consider running away
she returns with a pint of lager bigger than her torso
she takes a sip
looks at me and speaks
so
leaves that hanging in the space between us
hovering over the table
I say nothing, I look past her, terrified of catching her eye
for fucks sake, timmy, say something or I will
I don’t know what to say, what are you so angry about?
she sighs deeply, locks my eyes into hers, no escape this time
what happened with petula the other night?
nothing
she takes an angry gulp of her pint
well, she says that you went to the toilet for twenty fucking minutes and then fell asleep about halfway through the film
I wasn’t shitting for twenty minutes
what the fuck were you doing?
I was staring at a towel
honestly, I don’t know what is wrong with you
I was just a bit tired
you were being avoidant, timmy
I wasn’t, I was knackered, that’s all
you fucking well know you are
I haven’t been sleeping well
do a line then, have an espresso, wake the fuck up
she’s shouting but laughing
look, my love, I set you up with a fucking glorious woman, who, for some reason, seems to actually like you and you act all weird and fall asleep
I never asked for any of this, ginny
I know, timmy, I know but if I don’t help you, you’ll die alone and I’ll be stuck with arranging your funeral and I simply don’t have the time
she smiles now
her eyes glimmering over the rim of her pint
she drinks some more
I smile too, she’s right, she’s always right, dammit
I awoke on the sofa that night with petula
the TV was off
the bathroom light was still on
I went to the kitchen alcove
the two mismatched glasses sat on the side
all washed up and squeaky clean
the empty crisp packets were in the bin
petula had tidied up
which made it worse
but made me like her more
not that I thought I would ever see her again
there were two passion fruit martinis left in the fridge
I poured them both into a pint glass
topped them up with a splash of vodka
sank half of it all in one go
the clock on the oven
coming up to six in the morning
morning was broken
timmy, are you listening?
no, what did you say?
I said, you can give this another go, she did actually like you, maybe her going home with you was a bit of a big step,yeah?
it’s just all so difficult, having to say the right thing, do the right thing, all that stuff, I’m shit at it
you are a bit shit, timmy but it’s not that deep babe, you don’t have to be anything like perfect
just as well
look, I am a total fuck up, a fucking nut, yet I still manage to get laid
you know it’s different for girls
depends who you are trying to fuck though, of course you are just talking about hetero stuff, I have to navigate this with men and women and yeah, it’s easier with the men in some ways but with the women, I’m still the same nut that I always am
yeah but you’re hot
you’re not going to flatter your way out of this, timmy
I dunno, maybe I am better off alone
timmy, look at me
I look at her
I know you’ll want to throw your glass at me but listen to me
I know what she is going to say, my chest tightens
jane died three years ago
I do want to throw my glass at her
I don’t throw my glass at her
I look down at the floor and squeeze my eyes closed
ginny reaches over
puts her hand on mine
I know how much you loved her timmy, I did too
she did love her too
she didn’t lie naked with her each night
feeling her die in her arms
she didn’t watch peep show all the way through with her
she didn’t have to explain some of the sex jokes
all of the drug references
she didn’t curate her biscuits
timmy, are you ok?
I look at her
I am not ok
she moves around the table
slides onto my lap
her arms around my neck
her face buried deep into me
I hold her too
tight around her tiny waist
she smells of tobacco
I can feel her tears run down past my collar bone
the woman behind the bar glances over
likely assuming that this is a lover’s quarrel,
ginny shouting at me then holding me
we squeeze each other until enough of this is out of us
she slides back off me
returns to her drink, eyes red, mouth quivering still
you’re going to call petula, timmy, do you understand?
I smile and nod weakly at the little ball of thunder across from me
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