My Dinosaur Era Chapter 6 *Rewrite*

 

I have been summoned to meet ginny in a pub

her terse message made me nervous

this will be about petula

how I fucked it up

 

I sit in another pub before meeting her

in front of me is a pint of guinness

I don’t know why I bought it

I never usually drink it

a comfort drink

a cove to shelter in when the weather is rough

 

petula will have spoken to her

it was three nights ago

she hasn’t spoken to me since

we didn’t swap numbers

so I guess she could not have

even if she had wanted to

ginny hasn’t spoken to me since that night either

that’s usual though, she drifts around in her own time

 

I might have a shot

not tequila

it’s only two in the afternoon

has it come to this

 

yes it has

the shot enlivened me

black sambuca

the devil’s own work

 

I put the glass down on the table

the door to the pub swings open

ginny stands there hands on hips

brown boots up to her knees, leather jacket

fingers adorned by a dozen or more silver rings

she looks like a pirate from another dimension

she has a slight glare

a few percent more than normal

she might be pissed off at me

perhaps she’s just had a bad day

we weren’t meeting here

she has tracked me down

 

she comes to my table

 

pre-ginny drinks is it?

 

I was just passing, how did you track me down?

 

track you down? don’t flatter yourself sunshine, I saw your huge bald skull through the window, glowing like a harvest moon

 

she spins around and goes to the bar

I consider running away

she returns with a pint of lager bigger than her torso

she takes a sip

looks at me and speaks

 

so

 

leaves that hanging in the space between us

hovering over the table

I say nothing, I look past her, terrified of catching her eye

 

for fucks sake, timmy, say something or I will

 

I don’t know what to say, what are you so angry about?

 

she sighs deeply, locks my eyes into hers, no escape this time

 

what happened with petula the other night?

 

nothing

 

she takes an angry gulp of her pint

 

well, she says that you went to the toilet for twenty fucking minutes and then fell asleep about halfway through the film

 

I wasn’t shitting for twenty minutes

 

what the fuck were you doing?

 

I was staring at a towel

 

honestly, I don’t know what is wrong with you

 

I was just a bit tired

 

you were being avoidant, timmy

 

I wasn’t, I was knackered, that’s all

 

you fucking well know you are

 

I haven’t been sleeping well

 

do a line then, have an espresso, wake the fuck up

 

she’s shouting but laughing

 

look, my love, I set you up with a fucking glorious woman, who, for some reason, seems to actually like you and you act all weird and fall asleep

 

I never asked for any of this, ginny

 

I know, timmy, I know but if I don’t help you, you’ll die alone and I’ll be stuck with arranging your funeral and I simply don’t have the time

 

she smiles now

her eyes glimmering over the rim of her pint

she drinks some more

I smile too, she’s right, she’s always right, dammit

 

I awoke on the sofa that night with petula

the TV was off

the bathroom light was still on

I went to the kitchen alcove

the two mismatched glasses sat on the side

all washed up and squeaky clean

the empty crisp packets were in the bin

 

petula had tidied up

which made it worse

but made me like her more

not that I thought I would ever see her again

 

there were two passion fruit martinis left in the fridge

I poured them both into a pint glass

topped them up with a splash of vodka

sank half of it all in one go

the clock on the oven

coming up to six in the morning

morning was broken

 

timmy, are you listening?

 

no, what did you say?

 

I said, you can give this another go, she did actually like you, maybe her going home with you was a bit of a big step,yeah?

 

it’s just all so difficult, having to say the right thing, do the right thing, all that stuff, I’m shit at it

 

you are a bit shit, timmy but it’s not that deep babe, you don’t have to be anything like perfect

 

just as well

 

look, I am a total fuck up, a fucking nut, yet I still manage to get laid

 

you know it’s different for girls

 

depends who you are trying to fuck though, of course you are just talking about hetero stuff, I have to navigate this with men and women and yeah, it’s easier with the men in some ways but with the women, I’m still the same nut that I always am

 

yeah but you’re hot

 

you’re not going to flatter your way out of this, timmy

 

I dunno, maybe I am better off alone

 

timmy, look at me

 

I look at her

 

I know you’ll want to throw your glass at me but listen to me

 

I know what she is going to say, my chest tightens

 

jane died three years ago

 

I do want to throw my glass at her

I don’t throw my glass at her

I look down at the floor and squeeze my eyes closed

ginny reaches over

puts her hand on mine

 

I know how much you loved her timmy, I did too

 

she did love her too

 

she didn’t lie naked with her each night

feeling her die in her arms

she didn’t watch peep show all the way through with her

she didn’t have to explain some of the sex jokes

all of the drug references

she didn’t curate her biscuits

 

timmy, are you ok?

 

I look at her

I am not ok

she moves around the table

slides onto my lap

her arms around my neck

her face buried deep into me

I hold her too

tight around her tiny waist

she smells of tobacco

I can feel her tears run down past my collar bone

the woman behind the bar glances over

likely assuming that this is a lover’s quarrel,

ginny shouting at me then holding me

 

we squeeze each other until enough of this is out of us

she slides back off me

returns to her drink, eyes red, mouth quivering still

 

you’re going to call petula, timmy, do you understand?

 

I smile and nod weakly at the little ball of thunder across from me