The Sound of one hand clapping?

Have you ever heard of the sound of one hand clapping? It's a Zen Koan, and a Zen Koan is something that is given to the student of Zen to go away and meditate on.

Once upon a time I was a mature student. I was studying a thing called Osetopathy. Osteopaths are people you go to see when you hurt you're back and much more besides if you believe what they tell you.

Anyway, there I was sitting in a lecture in my third year on this 5 year course that I had embarked upon, and the lecturer was lecturing on the anatomy of the spine. It was quite a simple job really, explaining the movements of side bending, forward bending etc. But this particular guy thought he was a bit of a mystic.

To make a point here I need to confess I used to be in the building game and I am a piss taker naturally. So there he was this guy, I'm fed up with calling him a lecturer now, waffling on and on about the spine. It was boring and I think maybe to spice things up a bit he decided to drop in a bit of mysticism.

While talking about the Sacrum, the bone at the base of the spine, he mentioned that the name sacrum was derived form the word sacred. This was because, he said, that the 'Kundalini' serpent is said to reside within the sacrum.

It was getting better for me because I was pretty interested in these things and 'taking the piss', I put my hand up and asked. "Do you know any Osteopathic techniques for releasing the Kundalini?" He became very, very serious and said. "Under no circumstances should one ever try to release the Kundalini prematurely because if you do it will blow a hole in the top of your head. The only time one should consider releasing it is when one is ready for enlightenment, and I dont suppose anyone here is ready for that are they? When a person is ready for enlightenment he will hear the sound of one hand clapping". Continuing to take the piss I put up my hand and said. "I'm ready for enlightenment". He gave me a withering look and continued to talk.

At some point he asked for a volunteer to show a living spine to the room full of students, about 30 of them. "What about the man who's ready for enlightenment?"

Off I went shirt off sitting to the front of the class sitting on the end of a table facing him with my back to the class so they could see my spine. He kept on talking and mentioning the Kundalini and enlightenment and gesturing to me and my spine. "Are you sure you're ready for enlightenment". He would ask me. "Yea". I nonchalantly replied. He kept talking and talking, and every now and again would ask. "Are you really sure"? . "Yup". I would say.

At a certain point he stopped talking to the class and spoke more directly to me. "Are you ready to hear the sound of one hand clapping?" He asked. "Yea, yea sure" I said. He kind of stood back and the class seemed to go quiet. Time stood still as he drew back his arm and slapped me very hard around the face, with one hand.