The Dog Borstal Display Team Will Not Have Me

I am hiding from the big net,
monogrammed with silhouettes
of a husky and bichon frise in cuffs,
looking suitably penal.

Some swine named Cade
has sold my name and signed
my next decade to those
who would take me, regardless
of my species, into custody.

They want me for their display team.
Other canine chokeys cannot boast
an upright traverser
of see-saws, who uses
opposable paws to scale nets,
leaving alsatian burglars,
poodle fraudsters and the odd
smudge-graffit schnauzer
flailing in her wake.

Well I'm not their pooch.
I'm not some hairless breed
of obedient mutt,
and they'll have to drug me
with doggy LSD
before, stick in teeth,
I'll leap
through any flaming hoop.