A favourite cinematic moment

In the movie, Second World War III, written by my brother, Logan
Beckett, there's a scene, which I always find deeply affecting. It
comes towards the end of the film where the German High Command is
holding a crisis meeting. Such is the power of Logan's screenplay that
you really feel you are there in the room with them, experiencing what
they are experiencing.

To add to the drama the film score (also written by Logan) features a
dozen bass guitars going GERDUNGA DUNGA DUNGA in the background.

The crucial sequence occurs as Zimmler, one of the top generals in the
German High Command, interrupts the meeting to make an
observation.

"Gentlemen," he says in a slow menacing style, "One thing puzzles
me."

At this point a single cello going CHUP CHUP CHUP, joins the bass
guitars going GERDUNGA DUNGA DUNGA.

Zimmler continues. "All of us here are servants of the
Fatherland."

His colleagues nod.

"We are soldiers of the Reich."

They accept this too.

"Above all, we are German citizens."

No one disagrees. You just know something big is coming.

"Then will somebody please tell me why are we all speaking in
English?"

With the background music rising in volume, Zimmler rounds on his
colleagues.

"Karlheinz, do you know why we are speaking English?"

Karlheinz shakes his head. "No Herr General."

The music gets louder.

"Wolfgang, how about you?"

"Search me, Herr General."

The background accompaniment gets louder still. Zimmler has to raise
his voice to be heard.

"Klaus, any explanations?"

"Haven't a clue."

The music reaches a crescendo as Zimmler turns to the last person in
the group.

"And how about you, Gavin?" he bellows.

"You'll have to speak up, guv," says Gavin. "I can't hear you."

Zimmler repeats the question, but Gavin still hasn't caught it. The
general turns round and screams at someone off camera: "STOP THAT
BLOODY NOISE!"

At once the loud background music subsides to be replaced by a slow,
gentle DER DUMMA DUMMA DUM from the cello.

"I will repeat my question," says Zimmler staring directly at Gavin.
"Why are we all speaking English."

Gavin looks uneasy. You sense he knows something. But when he speaks
his voice gives nothing away.

"Cor blimey, Herr General," he says. "How should I know. Do me a
favour, mate."

Zimmler gives one of his sinister smiles. "Since no one seems to know,"
he says, "I suggest we switch back to German."

There is much nodding of heads around the table. Everyone seems to
think it's a good idea. A REALLY GOOD IDEA. Everyone that is except
Gavin.

"Crikey, Herr General," he says hurriedly. "I've just remembered
something. We have to speak English."

The cello is starting to build again - CHUP CHUP CHUP - and the bass
guitars are back - GERDUNGA DUNGA DUNGA.

All eyes are on Gavin. He clears his throat nervously.

"We have to speak English, so we can understand our enemy better," he
says. "By speaking their language we can more easily put ourselves in
their minds and better anticipate their next moves. It's vital we do
this."

An uneasy silence descends on the room. Zimmler is weighing his words.
When he finally speaks, it's to utter what must be one of the most
damning put downs in the history of modern cinema.

"Herr General," he says. "I've had my eye on you for some time. I've
heard you giving presentations at meetings. I've listened to you in the
canteen conversing with your friends. I've overheard you speaking on
the phone."

He pauses meaningfully. "Do you know, in all that time I've never heard
you speak a single word of German."

By now the cellist and bass guitarists are back with a vengeance.
GERDUNGA GERDUNGA. KABOOM KABOOM. GERDUNGA GERDUNGA.

It's time for Zimmler to deliver the coup de grace. "I take it you do
speak German, Herr General?"

I won't spoil the ending for you, suffice it to say that things get
worse, accusations and counter accusations fly and the generals finally
lose the war, but not before they've given Logan and his film crew
plenty of material for an extraordinary movie.