Sometimes Mummy....

Sometimes mummy spits,
Rants, nags mundane things, like
“Tidy your room!”
“Get your feet off the sofa!”
“Do your homework”
Repetitive, annoying,
She’s hammering on your
Door of painful thoughts
“Let me in!” she demands.
Maybe it’s coming out all wrong,
Spats, rows, harmful words,
Desperate to swallow back.
Disarrayed life, tip toe hours
When we all remain silent.

Sometimes mummy tries to
Cause little strife, head kept down,
Mummy tries to ignore, erase,
Overwhelming painful thoughts,
She failed you, for they were not meant
To hurt you, or create different patterns
In colourful sequenced childhood.

Sometimes mummy sucks in air
Chest rises feebly, ribs stark, countable,
Wonders how she might feed you,
When there’s not enough to go around.
Raw fingers nibbled, frowning, ponders
What is life truly about.

Sometimes Mummy cries
Watching videos, gulping silently,
Puddles slipping to join many others.
Or a sad song reminding of better days,
And a love lost that hasn’t died.
Cries for the world she birthed you in,
Frets how you’ll survive when she dies,
Unable to guide, protect, keep an eye.

Sometimes mummy retreats, escapes
Does not speak, not to wound, ignore
Or cause a war, simply finding her feet.
She might chase rainbows, get disillusioned,
Trample clumsily in decisions, then
Crucify herself, in dead starless night, confused.

Sometimes mummy decides, foot down,
You will abide, for she is right,
Of course, being human,
Often she is wrong, amends dished out,
Or, sorry word will come about,
Most times, she is wise, fights
For what is best for you.

Sometimes mummy talks
Of childhood wars, school days
Things that bore or shopping lists,
Bills, insignificant things, mumblings,
Or asks opinions about silly things
Bearing no relevance at all,
She’s just trying to fit in,
Strengthen, fix, take hold,
Weakened thread dangling uneasily.

Sometimes mummy should say
I love you daughters.
You’re my world
But she assumes you know,
Forgetting to show, or
Utter three precious words.
But love you she does, more than
The great big moon and stars,
Greater than all the fish in the sea,
Or atoms floating along with gravity,
No questions asked, you are everything,
Air she breathes into smoke filled lungs.
Sunflower reaching for sun, growing tall
For we are all, as one.

Sometimes mummy is just
A child trying to grow up.