Looking after Mum: Part III: Chapter 23

Part III: Chapter 23
It is the present time now, of course – the real present. If you can do your maths ok – even I can work this one out – you’ll have realised I’m sixteen now.
It wasn’t that hard writing all that down – probably because most of it was in illegible shorthand. The ‘he’ I mentioned at the start is - you’ll probably have guessed by now - Douglas. Of course, he was the one that suggested I write all this. He said it was a way to channel all my energy – whatever that means. It was kind of good to do it, I suppose, and it’s made me realise two things.
One – I have a pretty damn good memory.
And two – if I can go through all that and still live to tell the tale, I can’t be that much of a sensitive, reclusive freak, can I?
So much has changed since then.
My hair had a sudden growth spurt, and is now out of its childish bob and down to my shoulder. Hardly Rapunzel locks but at least I’m not a skinhead. It’s still got its mousey brown but isn’t so lanky and lifeless – it’s got a little wave in it that I’m hopelessly vain of. I’ve lost a bit of that puppy-fat, and I’m no stick, but I don’t actually care that much anymore. Sure, sometimes I stare wistfully at models in Bliss magasines and feel a twinge of envy, but who doesn’t? The point is, I’m so much more comfortable with who I am now. It doesn’t matter how I look, it’s what I think about how I look that matters.
School is not a nightmare now and I almost look forward to going there each day. Till the end of Year 9 I mostly just hung around with Douglas, and we got to know each other very well. We’re not exactly an item or anything; we’re more like best friends and I love him but in a different way than that. Our relationship might change in the future though - you never know, do you?
Anyway, at the beginning of Year 10 I realised I’d have to branch out and make new friends rather than just cling to Douglas. So we both ended up forming a group with Claire and some of the people who used to be part of the “Nerd group.” We definitely weren’t the most popular, or the most admired, or the most envied, but people stopped giving us trouble for a while and started letting us be ourselves.
Kirsty and her Mini-K’s all separated near the end of Year 9, a while after the whole situation with Ruby had happened. She had begun to get sick of having followers stuck to her every minute, but she didn’t become any more refined in her friendship selection. Instead of the Mini-K’s she started befriending boys, who obviously welcomed her with open arms. At the moment, she’s renowned amongst all the Year 11s for sleeping around with a few of them and no-one looks at her in awe anymore, they just think she’s a slut. I feel bad for her, I really do. It all went downhill and I don’t know why. I really thought she was going to turn a new leaf in Year 10 but then, I guess life isn’t a Walt Disney movie. Villains in the story don’t always turn out to have a heart of gold and there isn’t always a happy ending.
And Ruby – well, Ruby. It took me ages to understand what her relationship with Kirsty was, after the confusing row they’d had the day we’d run away. Here’s the full explanation, taken from my diary, where I’d had to record it as it was too complicated to remember.
“Ruby’s dad, Gareth Rendall, was an alcoholic, and a single father. He’d been abusing Ruby ever since she was a little girl, as well as whatever partners he ever took on. About five months before I’d met Ruby, her father had met Kirsty’s mum, Diane. A single mum as well, new to the neighbourhood and still recovering from her recent divorce. Gareth was charming on the outside, so it didn’t take Diane long to establish a relationship with him and move in. The first few weeks were fine, apart from tension between Ruby and Kirsty. But then, Gareth started on the drink again, and revealed himself in his true colours. He started beating both Kirsty and Diane, who discovered what a mistake she’d made. Like Ruby had said that day, she didn’t want him, and that only made him angry. So he drank even more, and they all had to suffer from it, but especially Ruby. He was at his worst when Diane and Kirsty were living there because of how angry he was, so Ruby just wanted them to get lost. One night, when he particularly lost his temper, as Kirsty said, he nearly killed Diane. He gave her severe head injury and broke two of her fingers. They got out of there at their first chance, but didn’t tell the police. Diane was too frightened, because of all Gareth’s threats to her. Ruby would have never reported him as she didn’t want anything to do with the police because of her criminal record, shoplifting and the like. Kirsty was only too happy not to report him because she knew that Ruby would then still have to suffer. She had a grudge against Ruby simply because of how vile her father had been.”
But anyway, that was the end of that. There was a court case held, and Gareth Rendall was sentenced to many years in prison. Strangely enough, the case was one of the only things Ruby and Kirsty ever took the same side on – both of them there, with Mrs Brightman, fighting against him, trying to get justice.
Ruby’s been fostered, with a really nice family, just right for her – let her get along with her own thing but give her enough love and nurturing so she doesn’t feel neglected. She’s nearly seventeen and waiting for her GCSE results, just like I am. She ended up taking her exams, after endless prodding and persuading from me. She’d been really reluctant to, having skived off school for so long, but showed up brilliant, (after some coaching by a tutor her foster parents paid for,) in art, chemistry, and trig .
Ruby and me – well, we lost touch after the court case. She had to move to the other end of the Midlands when she moved in with her foster parents. We promised to keep in touch at the start but slowly the letters fizzled out, and that was the saddest part of it all. After we stopped with the letters, we sent an occasional e-mail, I usually writing a lot more than Ruby, and then all contact just came to a halt. I suppose she was making new friends wherever she was and I was branching out here in Birmingham, and maybe it never was going to work out. I do miss her, though. I do miss her.
Susannah was right though, about me getting too dependant on her. I was never going to be really content until I was happy with my identity. And that brings us to Susannah – I still have the occasional chat with her now and then, but nothing too serious. She knows that I’m more mature now and that I can deal with things a lot better than I could before.

Mr Fenton was right – I did manage to improve in English. I’m waiting for my GCSE results at the moment and I really hope I live up to my predictions. I got predicted an A+ in English and he’ll be so proud if that’s what the actual result comes out as. He always said I could do it.
And of course my mum will be proud as well, no matter what grade I achieve. Our relationship is strengthening, and sometimes it doesn’t always work out and one of us messes up, but we keep on trying. I don’t think it will ever be the same as it was before the accident, under the circumstances. But I can still dream.