The Agreement
By chrisf3012
- 402 reads
I woke up early today.
I don’t get up early when on vacation. But this is no ordinary Vacation. I’m not even supposed to be here. None of my family members know that I’m in the country, and that’s exactly how I want it to be until I sort out some things. One of these things I need to sort out is lying in bed next to me deep asleep.
He looks so peaceful in his sleep, as if he has no care in the world. Yet, I know he stands to loose more than I in this mess we’ve created. Sorry, this mess He’s created, I should say.
I told him. I’m blaming him for everything. After all, he is the one who barged into my life three months ago and disrupted the peace.
He had a choice. He could have gone living his life and forget I ever existed. But he didn’t and won’t do it. That’s why you are doing this Agatha?
It’s so unfair! I might loose him for good after this.
If you do, you’ll recover and if you don’t you’ll be sure that he loves you and not going through a midlife crisis.
But he said he isn’t going through a midlife crisis.
Of course, he’ll say that. You know damn well people going through one of these don’t usually know it.
Hmm!!! I hate having to do this.
But you have to!
I know!
I looked at the piece of paper in my hands. It’s my only protection. I have been thinking of this for months now, and I can’t find a better solution. I need to protect my heart more than satisfying this urgent need to be with him.
I looked over at him. Even his breathing radiates this false sense of calm and safety and it scares me because I know I’m not safe. My heart particularly is far from safe and I can’t bear it be broken again, because this time I know I’ll never recover.
I stand, walk to the balcony of the bungalow leaving Anthony sleeping in bed. Unshed tears prick at the edges of my lower eyelid at the realization of what I’m about to do sets in. I look up to the heaven to prevent the tears from rolling down my cheek. At the sight of this beautiful clear blue sky, I remember a prayer I made a few years back. I rarely pray these days and its ironic how I feel very far away from God when I’m in Norway, yet so near him when I’m in Mauritius. Mark Twain once said that Mauritius is paradise created by God and i like to think that in some ways this explain my overwhelming urge to talk to God when I’m here.
I made this prayer after my divorce from Andrew twelve years ago and after my 10 year-long relationship with my then-new man, Hans. I would beg the creator to turn my heart into steel so that it can’t be broken anymore and for many years I thought I was granted this gift. I would meet guys after guys and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I had to force myself into faking my feelings once in a while in hope that I will eventually develop some, and believe me, it didn’t work. Eventually, it became more and more obvious to these guys that I wasn’t into them. So I told myself, thank god for giving me that steel heart. So why do I feel the need to protect my heart right now? As if suddenly, its turned back to being vulnerable.
What are you trying to tell me God? Why send him my way now of all times? After 14 years?
I was happy.
Were you?
Yes!
Don’t lie to yourself!
I wasn’t unhappy and that’s saying a lot after all I’ve been through.
«Hi babe!» I jump at the sound of his deep voice next to my ear and the feel of his moist lips on the skin around my neck. «Sorry» he says and snakes his arms around me and hold me tight. God I’ll miss that. I sigh and turn in his arms to face him. He kisses me lightly on the lips and says, «what were you thinking of. You were deep in thoughts when I came to the balcony.»
«Were you here long.»
«I’ve been watching you for a few. So what’s eating at my baby.»
« You already know what’s eating at me.» I say chuckling.
«Not this again okay, let’s enjoy this moment.»
«Yes this again.» I push myself out of his arms and make my way inside and prop down onto the bed. He comes after me and sits next to me. «What’s this?» He points down at the piece of paper in my hands.
I look up into his eyes and say, «I was meaning to talk to you about this.» I pause, sigh and then continue, «I made a decision.»
«let me guess. I’m not gonna like it.»
«I guess not.» I purse my lips, «but I have to do it.»
«Okay. Let’s here it.»
«It’s an agreement I want between you and me. Do you want to read it or should I do it.»
He looks at me as if trying to decide which is better before nodding his head in my direction, «you read it.»
«Okayyy..» I take a big breath, unfold the paper and start.
Terms and conditions of the agreement between First Party Anthony Coulon and second party Marie Therese Agatha Rabais.
1. Both parties agree to enter a contract prior to entering any form of relationship effective on the day the agreement is signed by both parties.
«Let me stop you there Agatha! If you haven’t noticed we are already in a relationship baby.»
«I know. Just let me finish please.»
«Okay»
2. The first party agree to separate from the second party for a duration of two years in which the first party would work out his marital issues with his wife.
«No. I already told you….» I put up my hand to stop him from saying anything else.
«I know what you’ve told me Anthony, but like I told you. You had 14 years to think about this, I had three months. It’s not fair. You have to let me work this out my way.»
«Okay. You’re right baby. Sorry. Continue.»
3. if the first party decides to leave his wife, he will do so before entering any form of a relationship with the second party.
« And before you say it, I know we already are in a relationship, but this has to stop as of now.»
« Are you serious!» He lets out a boisterous laugh.
«Yeah, I’m very serious.»
«This is unfair. I’ve been looking for you for 14 years and …»
«Exactly, like you said, you’ve been looking for me for 14 years, meaning two more years is not that long a wait.»
«I can’t do it.» I ignore him and continue.
4. The first party will make sure his wife and children and everyone around him know that he is not leaving them because of the second party.
« Okay, I don’t understand why you care about the reason I’m leaving her.»
«I don’t care Thony, I just want to make sure it’s not because of me. I don’t want to be the reason a family is broken or the centre of neighborhood gossip.»
«But I was never hers. I was yours before I made the mistake of marrying her. You are in the right baby.»
«People don’t know that. And since you’ve married her instead of me 14 years earlier, people know her, not me and because of that my reputation is on the line.»
«Why do you care babe? You remember the last time we cared about others opinion of us what happened? That’s the reason we are where we are now, us leaving oceans apart from each other. And you want to repeat the same mistakes?»
«I don’t want my reputation to be tarnished. Even if I live on the other side of the globe, my family still lives here. I still need to come back here from time to time. So please let me do something to protect myself.»
He falls silent.
I continue,
5. The first party should in no circumstances contact the second party before he has left his wife for at least a year and certainly not before he leaves his wife.
«That is impossible. I need to talk to you everyday. I’ll miss you. I miss you already. Please don’t do that.»
«Okay, can you let me finish reading the whole thing before you interrupt me again? Because if you don’t, I’m leaving.»
«Okay, I’m sorry babe! Continue..» He gestures with his head.
5. The second party agree to wait two years for the first party to work out his emotional issues.
«I don’t have…»
«Thony!!»
«Okay!»
6. The second party, «meaning me» agree to renew a relationship with the first party after the two years if he has been separated from his wife for at least a year.
«But what if you meet someone else during these two years?»
«I’m not meeting anyone.»
«I don’t want to bet on it.» He says. «I want it said in the contract that you’ll wait for me during these two years.»
«Okay. If that is your wish. May I continue now?» I say with sarcasm oozing from my tone.
«Certainly.» He says with a cocky smile on his face.
7. The second party agree to work on the relationship with the first party, if there is one, for a period of at least a year before making a final decision on whether to stay or leave the relationship.
8. This contract shall be terminated if any of the parties are found to be lying or breeching any of the agreements mentioned above.
«Is that all?»
I nod.
«Can I say something now?»
«Yes.»
«That’s bullshit!!!» he shouts. «You can’t do that babe! How I’m gonna survive not talking to you or seeing you for two years.»
«How did you survive 14 years?»
«In misery! That’s how! Why do you think I went to great length to find you?»
«You can stalk me on facebook.»
«That’s not enough!»
«It’ll have to be for now. So do you agree?»
«Do I get to spent at least this week end with you?»
«No.»
«I’m not signing before the week-end is over.»
«That ’s not fair!»
«I don’t think the agreement is fair either. But I’ll do anything to get you back into my life. I want the weekend to try.»
«You think you’ll be able to convince me otherwise during a week-end.»
«Don’t underestimate me! I made you fall in love with me in a day remember.»
«That’s 14 years ago. I was 17 for god’s sake and naive.»
«Are you afraid of something Agatha?»
«No» I shout
«Then say yes and if by the week-end you still aren’t in love with me, I’ll sign the freaking contract and give you the two years to sort out your feelings for me. But do not mistake me Agatha, these two years will be about you sorting out your feeling not me sorting out whatever crisis you think I’m going through. I know what I want. And that’s You!»
«Fine!»
«Fine!»
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Comments
Sounds complicated!
Sounds complicated!
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