Another Year

I have smiled at all the right times,
a broad smile, not clipped,
and my jaws ache; but my heart aches more.
This is another year of loving you,
of waking up without you beside me,
one hand reaching out for a sleepy head
forgetting a dream is only a dream.
I imagine you touching this same moment
and its emptiness.
If you look between us and the farthest star,
you will see the impossible.
Every morning, when you let go of my hand
to drop me from the darkness into another day,
I know you don't turn and go away easily
but sometimes stay a while longer.
And when you look down on me from a dream,
they are your tears that fall down my face.

December 2003