Commercially Manufactured Singledom

Sometimes it becomes necessary for one to examine states of being
not as a compilation of emotions, actions and feelings but as a
sellable product the media and society have fabricated them into. I'm
talking about the idea of singledom, one of the media's favorite items
to sell to young people. It's everywhere; commericals, magazine covers,
talk shows and even the news. But what, exactly, are they
selling?


Lies. Blatent, deceptive lies. The single life, the best
years of our lives. Well, that's entirely possible but, it sure as hell
is not because we're single. The single life is not one lingering party
interlaced with drinking, casual sex and endless dating opportunities.
It is not going out everynight with the girls, hanging out at bars and
meeting guys. It is not boundless fun and youthful indescretion after
youthful indescretion. The single life Cosmo gives us rules for, the
fun loving people in beer commercials and the guests of Oprah Winfrey
are spewing some severely false truths. It's about time someone in
America came right out and got to the point: the single life is
boring.


Yea, boring. I believe I speak for all single young women
when I tell you that we do not go out everynight. We do not have date
after date after date lined up weeks in advance. Hell, we don't even
meet that many guys. We don't get together with our girlfriends to dish
about out latest male conquest, this is not Sex and the City. Boring,
as in get up every morning maybe go to the gym, maybe don't, go to work
or school or both, come home, microwave dinner and watch TV. To switch
it up every now and then we have phone calls with our "boyfriended"
friends, or go out with our single friends, where we usually eat and
feel guilty. We also visit our mothers, go online, and sleep.
BORING!


Now in the spirit of fairness I must take an aside and admit
that it's not all bad. Sometimes, obviously, single girls meet guys.
And sometimes we don't microwave dinner, we cook. Sometimes we like
visiting our moms and we don't always stay home everynight. And we
certainly like staying in and watching TV sometimes. And when we're out
and we see a couple fighting, or a young mother with a kid, we're damn
glad to be in our boat. And while singledom can be very boring, so can
the opposite of singledom, coupledom.


Now, it would be much easier to keep all of this in
persepctive, however, if the myth of singledom wasn't so prevelant in
our society. See the real worst part of being single is that it's a
huge let down. Think about it. When the last relationship you were in
started to get bad some part of you got a little excited about being
single again. Some teeny, tiny little voice whispered about meeting new
people and going out with your friends and having fun. You looked
forward to it. It was a giant comfort during the break-up. And then it
happened. Finially, you were free to be single again. The guy was gone,
and nothing stood in your way. There you were, ready to go out and
embrace being newly single and have the time of your life. You were
like a sophmore all decked out and ready to go to the senior prom,
waiting on the porch for that hot senior on the baseball team to pick
you up. But he never comes. It was all a horrible misconception. Being
single woulnd't be bad at all had it not been so anticipated as
something that it just is not.
So what's a girl to do? What's a single girl, watching old movies on a
Friday night with her dog while eating Lean Pockets, suppose to do? I
can't erase from my mind what this period of singledom was "suppose" to
be. I can't become immediately content with my discontent at being
single. How can I try and enjoy singledom for what it is if my mind
can't forget what it's not? I guess I take a moment to survey the sea
of life and realize that while my boat isn't Paris Hilton's, it's not
the boat of the single mom in line to cash her welfare check at the
bank either. My boat may not contain a swinging single, but at least
it's not taking on water.