The Right Man for the Job Part 3

I was thrilled when I eventually got my turn at the wheel. Darlene was in the passenger’s seat. Eleanor was in back, lost in thought. I was getting pumped for some leisurely cruising when I was struck with another opportunity to wow with clever name rendering.
“Caravantastic!” I announced. My two unimaginative partners didn’t reply. “It’s a combination of caravan and fan—“
“We know what it is, Kelso,” Darlene interrupted. “Your creativity never ceases to amaze.”
I sputtered at her careless, sarcastic remark. I swiveled around to Eleanor. “What do you think? It’s good, right?”
She did me the honor of turning around to face me. “It’s the best nickname for a golf cart I’ve ever heard.” Glorious diplomacy!
“Hear that, Darlene? The best!” Darlene just rolled her eyes.
I eagerly took us down the cart path towards our first destination. But that is not where we ended up. A gentleman in a business suit waved us down. I stopped next to him.
“Morning,” he greeted. He was a bit older than us, pasty and balding.
“Morning. What can we do you for?” I asked.
“Could I get a ride? I’m going to be late for this meeting.”
I couldn’t refuse. He looked important.
He took the passenger seat and Darlene was displaced to the back with Eleanor. He told me to head towards the hotel.
“So what’s this meeting all about?” I asked him.
He sighed. “Management’s trying to lay the groundwork for this new initiative taking place next year. Sort of like a resort daycare center. I’m the creative head so to speak. Coming up with a name for it was my responsibility. But I’ve been busy.”
“You mean you’ve got nothing?”
“I’ve got nothing. I’m going to get shellacked in this meeting.”
“I’m sure you’ve got something up there in that noggin of yours. That’s why they pay you the big bucks, right?”
“Hey, how about you guys come with me into that meeting?”
“Us? What good are we going to do?”
“I don’t know anything about kids. You, on the other hand, look like you know more than I would.”
“You were a kid once.”
“You were more recently. We’re looking for fresh ideas here, trying to stay current. I could maybe get away with this if I bring you in.”
Darlene, who had been listening, turned around. “Excuse me, sir, but we’ve got our own agenda. Sorry you didn’t deliver on this daycare thing, but we’re going to get shellacked ourselves if we don’t do our jobs.”
“Here, gimme your walkie-talkie,” he said. Each group was issued a walkie-talkie. Naturally, Darlene took it upon herself to carry it around. She reluctantly handed it over to him.
“What are you doing?” she asked him.
He held the walkie to his face. “Hey, Paula? This is Landers. I’m going to borrow one of your yellow-shirted groups for a little while… I’m just looking for some particular insight. Just for the morning… like an hour tops. Then they’ll be back to whatever it is they do.” We heard Paula give some kind of approval. “Alright, thanks.” He returned the walkie-talkie to Darlene and had me park in the front circle outside the hotel. Then he got out and told us to follow him.
We briskly strolled to one of the many executive boardrooms on the main floor of the hotel. Everyone, about six people in all, was already inside, clearly waiting on Landers. After an apology for his tardiness, he took a seat, and motioned for us to sit next to him.
“Who are they?” someone asked of us, Lander’s guests.
“These,” Landers said, “are valued employees. They’re valued, young employees with valued opinions.”
“But what are they doing here?”
“They’ve got great ideas for the name of the daycare center,” Landers said cheerily.
“Do they even know about it?”
“I told them about it.”
“Kind of,” Darlene corrected.
“It’s not really their business.”
“It affects them, doesn’t it? They work here, don’t they?” Landers countered. “Are you going to brush them aside as if they don’t matter? As if we don’t honor their service to this establishment?”
The other members of the meeting looked fed up with Landers. They didn’t want to bother arguing with him though.
“Fine,” someone said. “They can stay and give us their thoughts. First, let me provide a little background for them. We’re planning construction for a daycare center right here in the resort, where parents can keep their children while they go off and do things without worrying about their child’s safety. Since safety is the key word, we wanted to come up with a name for this place that would estrange itself from anything… unsafe.”
“Isn’t that what a daycare center is supposed to do anyway?” I asked.
“Well, yes, but—“
“Then why not call it… The Daycare Center?” Eleanor suggested.
“You don’t get it. This isn’t just any daycare center. This is a daycare center at Pecho Del Sol. This is a daycare center with—“
“Juice cocktails,” I offered.
“No. It’s a daycare center with pools. You know, waterslides, floaties, absorbent diapers. A toddler’s slice of relaxation, if you will.”
“Toddlers don’t do anything strenuous to begin with,” said Darlene.
“Landers, if they’re not going to take this seriously then get them out of here.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Landers defended. He looked at us funny. We tried to buckle down as the speaker continued.
“We entrusted Landers with the task of creating a snappy title. But we have a bit of a conundrum. How do you reconcile the aquatic pleasure this place will provide with the peace of mind parents will be looking for? By the looks of it, Landers will be relying heavily on your younger perspective for our collective inspiration.” Landers looked away, somewhat ashamed.
“Little Floaters,” Darlene said. The gathering was unenthused. “Well it’s not like I got much notice.”
I looked at Landers. He was panic-stricken. I could see the fear of a potential shellacking in his eyes. Even though his lack of professionalism was none of my business, I didn’t want to let him down. So I used my foundational knowledge to desperately search for a shellac-free shoe-in.
“Moist and Mild,” I declared. Silence filled the room. One guy looked at another guy, who looked at some woman, who looked at me, who looked at Landers, who looked back at me. I couldn’t read the expressions on anyone’s face. Some papers rustled. The tension was almost unbearable. Then, finally, someone spoke.
“We’ll think about it.”
Landers leapt up with joy and shook my hand furiously. He thanked me repeatedly as Darlene and Eleanor got up to dismiss themselves. He told me he’d buy me a steak dinner sometime. That was probably the least he could do for that stroke of genius I cooked up.
As the three of us returned to Caravantastic, I walked proudly.
“Congratulations, Kelso,” Eleanor said.
“I can’t believe it,” Darlene muttered.
“Believe it, sister. You’re in the presence of greatness,” I told her. We settled into our respective seats. I turned over to Darlene, took the sunglasses from her face, and put them on my own face. Then I slapped down on that accelerator, eager to continue my long-awaited turn behind the wheel of the newly christened Caravantastic.