I wonder (Thoughts of a soldier)

I wonder what it must be like
To be alone in the light
To see the beauty of every day
And the warmth of every night
Without that voice
In the back of your mind
Crying out
Here comes the end of your life

I wonder if it all makes sense
To be petrified of silence
To crave the smell of dust
And be so accustomed to violence
That there's a voice
In the back of my mind
Shouting
Kill him, take the bastards life

I wonder how it came to be
That all I ever seem to see
Is enemies everywhere I go
Weapons trained, facing me
And have that voice
In the back of my mind
Screaming
Run away, run for your life

I wonder how it came to this
It's a clear shot, I can't miss
But before I squeeze the trigger
I try to remember my last ever kiss
But I hear that voice
In the back of my mind
Whispering
Not now, time to take another life.