Vera & Luvius : Part 2 : Targets & Friendship

Vera and Luvius : Ch.6 : Part 2 : Targets and Friendship

Vera woke earlier than intended, realising almost immediately that she had failed to set her programmable waking alarm the night before. So tired had she been after the long shift of the day before, and also so excited by her rare conversation with a man that she had forgotten completely to reset the alarm for an early rise. The Shift Manager had instructed everyone to rise an hour earlier to enable them to catch up on the maintenance jobs, which were running some days behind target. The Controllers were known to be annoyed by the delays, which were preventing the timely start of a new construction project on the side of the station. Realistic estimates of time and cost had been researched before the maintenance round began, but the team was failing repeatedly on a variety of indicators so the pressure on them had mounted. The controllers apparently believed that some individuals were failing to meet their own targets of performance and had instructed the Shift Manager to furnish them with performance reports on each individual in the team, as well as to encourage the team as a whole to catch up by whatever means possible. So they were to start early and work late for the next few days at least, the time to be dependent on performance until targets were achieved.

Vera could appreciate that the Shift Manager was only doing what he was told, but it would prove costly to her in lost study time and might slow down her career. She was worried about that, but rationalised that the whole team shared such worries and she was not alone. After all the primary purpose of their existence here on the station was to carry out the tasks given to them. All their training reached its fruition with the privilege of practical work here at the forefront of technology and the vanguard of the human exploration of space. Vera was confident that her own work was not to blame for the delay in progress. She wondered which members of the team might be responsible and had some difficulty even in guessing which members might be responsible. She could not think of anyone who might be slacking. They were all well trained and dedicated, otherwise they would not have passed the long selection process to get here.

Her mind flashed back to the previous evening, the conversation with Luvius. He had betrayed an anger at the way that he felt he was being treated, which she had almost agreed with when she heard him say it. In the cold light of day, having had a sufficient night’s sleep, she was more rational and could appreciate management’s need to keep the project running on time.

The horrible thought suddenly occurred to her that perhaps Luvius was the one, or one of them, who had let self-discipline slip. Certainly his state of mind last night had been decidedly irrational, although she had been thoroughly charmed by his sympathy. If it was Luvius it would soon show up on his personal report. That thought was also one she did not wish to think. If Luvius was not performing adequately he would very likely be removed from the team and sent back to Marta and she would never see him again. She believed she had just found a friend, more than that he was a male friend, which she had to admit excited her because she had never really had a male friend before, apart from Diocletian her teacher, of course. She was reminded of her cruel separation from Diocletian at the launch pad, but her career must progress and there was no turning back. It seemed that she must accept, as she had in the past with her female friends, that there was always eventually a parting of ways, often sooner than later.

Diocletian had been her teacher, not her lover unfortunately, but she had felt that their relationship had gradually been maturing; but her career inevitably separated them. Now she had found at last a friend. Already in such a short space of time talking, their relationship had deepened to a state of mutual respect, which was probably further than with Diocletian after all those months. Of course, Luvius was not as attractive as Diocletian, but he was a sensitive man. She felt drawn to him. She did not know what his intentions were but she was open to him if he wished. She had little confidence that any man would care for her in the way she wished, but after last night she could at least hope. She resigned herself to the possibility that Luvius might be demoted and she would never see him again, but took comfort in the hope that he would not.

Vera’s natural alarm clock had awakened her in advance of the time she needed to rise for the early start, but the excitement of the previous evening had renewed her vigour. She welcomed the early start and looked forward to the interesting work the team was to perform today.

After shower and breakfast, she called up the Vidnet on the subject of applied gravitational mechanics in space, one of the topics she was currently studying. Fresh at this time in the morning she wanted to be able to catch up on some of the time she had lost the day before. It was more efficient to study early in the morning than in the evening because of that freshness. She wished she could always manage a half hour or even a full hour before she began work. It might have made a difference to the speed of her exam passes if she could have fitted it in. She had never been able to keep up such a routine since she arrived on the station, although she had attempted it. The work was often physically demanding in the conditions of the space station and the hours invariably long. The days left her physically and mentally tired. Out of a sense of duty she almost always covered two to three hours of study in the evening and needed a full night’s sleep to raise her energy levels for the morning. When morning came, she generally found she was in no fit state to study. Despite the labour saving technologies which provided quick breakfasts, showers, fitness routines and dressing she had always needed time to prepare herself for work in the morning and she needed maximum sleep.

This morning’s freshness gave her renewed hope that she might be able to make these little adjustments to her lifestyle which would raise her efficiency and enable her to cope with all the challenges life presented to her. She wanted to get the best training and experience out of her work. She wanted to pass all her exams with the minimum of fuss, enabling her gradually to rise up the management heirarchy; and after last night’s pleasant shock, she wished to put renewed time and energy into her new social life. She had been reminded of the value of friends. This morning’s freshness must have been caused by last night’s social success. It seemed to suggest that a balanced relationship between a social and a working life was beneficial to each.

She thought back to the period of her student involvement with Diocletian. The combination of her relationship with her teacher and the study she was undergoing had provided a kind of balance. She had not needed other friends. Her more long standing female friends had one by one moved away from her in their careers or marriages, but she had not felt lonely. In the station she now admitted that the excitement of a real job which finally utilised the talents and knowledge she had been learning over so many years had not prevented a loss of balance in her life. Without Diocletian as a focus of her personal attention she had been losing her motivational focus. Luvius could provide that for her again and already she was able to study early in the morning again. Whether Luvius remained a mere friend or had intentions which might provide her with a full physical relationship for the first time in her life seemed unimportant to Vera at that moment. What really seemed to matter most was that she would have a friend, and a focus for her personal life.

Shift began. Vera arrived on time, properly prepared, although she had wasted some time in deciding which colour set of work clothes to wear. She had chosen her favourite costume, the grey one, because it fitted her the best. Her other costumes were either slightly too large or too small. It was nothing that most people would have noticed. Logic told her that everyone would be working too hard to notice. She noticed, in the mirror. Normally it did not concern her. Her mind was normally on higher things – work performance, study. Vera chastised herself for getting so irrational. It really was not like her.

When she arrived she counted the members of the team, crossing them off her mental list as she recognised them. Where was Luvius? Her fears for him returned quickly. Was he losing his motivation for the work in hand? Was he guilty of a failure to meet acceptable work standards? With some relief she noted his arrival at the last minute. Any longer and he would have earned a black point. Failure to arrive on time could upon the decision of the team manager result in a penalty deduction of some reasonable amount from his wages credit, which amounted to many times the value of any time lost. It was important to arrive on time at the beginning of shift so that the rest of the team were not delayed.

The team manager checked in the individual work numbers of the team to his mobile console. Someone said hello to her. She looked around. It was a feminine voice. Jema was someone she was beginning to get to know. A quiet hardworking girl, Vera respected her because she was reasonable, friendly and hardworking. She was a “straight” person whom you could trust, although they never actually had much to say to each other. The one thing about her which made Vera slightly more reserved was that she was a year younger than Vera. Having kept up with Vera’s educational progress until the age of twenty-six she had passed her Level Fives in one year less than Vera. This was because Vera had failed two subjects in Level Five and had to sit a few exams again. It had held her back. Vera was slightly jealous of Jema’s extra year of youth. She had the feeling that if she could pass her exams faster she could effectively buy back her youth, giving her the chance to achieve more in her life.

Vera returned the greeting to Jema, but her attention was on Luvius. Would he acknowledge her this morning, or had his pleasantness of the evening before been nothing more than an outlet for the frustration of a tired man. Vera felt intensely aware of his presence nearby, to the extent that she could not concentrate on anything else. She wished Jema had not approached her because it might forestall the opportunity for Luvius to say anything to her. Jema began to ask her something from the work the day before. Vera could not think clearly, then forced herself to concentrate. Then she remembered the thing Jema was asking about. It was something really simple which all of them could easily handle, a matter of work routine. Unusually it irritated Vera that Jema was asking these silly questions, but Vera knew she was only trying to make conversation. Normally Vera would have been pleased to have something to say, and she knew a lot about this. She would have enjoyed the opportunity for dialogue. Had last night changed her that much? She had only felt like this before when Diocletian had been teaching classes. Therefore, it was a familiar feeling after all.

Vera glanced round Room 23 to see where Luvius was. Almost simultaneously, here gaze caught his eye. He was looking at her. Her heart began beating in involuntary shock. She thought she caught the beginnings of a smile in his face, but he was talking to one of the other members and his gaze was broken. As she turned back to Jema, the Team Manager directed them to work. They were to replace the electrics in the outfacing wall of Room 23 with more modern electrical boxes preparatory to the addition of a new arm to the Station which was to connect near Room 23 on the outside within the next month. The arm had already been built at the MIOST Production Centre outside Marta City near where Vera had lived. It only remained for it to be rocketed up into orbit to the Station.

Vera and her team had gained some experience of space-walking and repairs on the outside of the station. They would be involved in some of the external power and communications connections after the Arm was connected to the station. Vera had been looking forward to this project for a long time. The delay in schedule and the longer than usual working hours tarnished her enjoyment of their achievements. Now she resented the Team Manager for setting them to work so early in the morning. She wished there were time to talk to Luvius. At the crucial time when they might easily have spoken, he had chosen to arrive late. Jema had waylaid her and Luvius had been pulled into conversation by someone else. The moment had been missed and now it was time to work. She hoped she would be working closely with Luvius but it was unlikely. They all had their allotted duties and Room 23 was large.

At the end of the day further overtime was prescribed by the managers. This job was important and had to be finished. She knew that it was unlikely she would be able to meet Luvius now. It was understood they would meet in the canteen again after workshift, but now workshift was continuing again for a further hour. When she came off shift she almost ran, wearily, to the canteen, hoping against hope that he would be there again like last night and they could renew the conversations and the closeness she had so felt. But he was not there and although she had waited a while he had not come.

Rationally she knew his absence was because of the shift he was on. His team were probably still working and she could not know when they might finish. She understood that he might not be able to come tonight. He would need his sleep, probably more than she needed hers right now. If they did meet it would have been hurried and tomorrow’s shift loomed.

Irrationally she feared the worst. Perhaps he was no longer interested in her. Perhaps he had never been interested in her and he had avoided her on purpose today. But she did not really believe her irrational fears. It was only the overtime shifts which delayed him, and she would have to be patient. He would be there tomorrow. He remembered how he had been towards her the day before and she knew that nothing would have changed tomorrow. She wanted the comfort of his companionship. That would solve her disquiet. Until she met him again, properly together, on their own she would not be relaxed. She hoped that she could sleep tonight, but as soon as she had her head on her pillow sleep descended rapidly as if it had been waiting to claim her.

This time Luvius was there at the end of her shift. There had been no unforeseen overtime, only the overtime which was expected, which for some reason the management still persisted in calling overtime, although it was well understood that space maintenance personnel were considered to be key employees and could normally be expected to perform long hours of work. MIOST could not afford to keep too many employees in space at any one time and those who were up there must be expected to cover the tasks required of them. While Vera expected to work hard, she was pleased when overtime was not too onerous. The present maintenance checks were going well. Few errors had been found and therefore she and the others were granted some freedom to devote time to themselves.

She met him in the canteen. She arrived first, placing herself in the same seat where she had sat when he had first requested to join her. She trusted him a little more now and no longer felt the fear that he might ignore her and walk away when he saw her again.

She could not have been good company for him, tired and shy as she had been. She wished there had been time to concentrate on socialising more in her life, but there had always been study to do. While she had always made friends with other women in the same position as her she had never developed much confidence in men. They were organised and dependable at work, always polite, always very capable, but she felt they had barely noticed her and when they had they were as clumsy and unable to make conversation as she had been. Always conversations seemed to break down quickly. Neither person seemed to know what to talk about. Once the subject of immediate projects of work and study had been exchanged, he would ask how many years she had taken to do this subject or that work task, where she had trained. Of course she would ask the same of him. Hopes and plans for the future would be discussed. Maybe if the man had watched much on the Vidnet recently it might be discussed, but usually their persistence would have waned by then. They probably aspired to better looking or more exciting women than Vera. When they found that her life history and range of experiences was much the same as their own they soon lost interest. What was there to talk about?

Thankfully she had got through those stages with Luvius. The one man who had ever been persistent was still, it seemed, interested in her, even though they had probably already exhausted all of the normal conversations. She worried. What would they talk about now? What new ideas would Luvius come up with today. Would the time soon come when he would run out of things to say or lose interest in her?

The eyes were tired and dull as he approached but the image was dispelled by his words as he talked. “Thankfully the station is in good order now. We have some time for ourselves. Would you come and see where my room is? We could watch some Vidnet together. We could eat first here, there later.”

“I have some study I should be doing when I have the time,” she countered automatically, but then thought better of it. She must not put him off in any way. Luvius might prove to be her only ever chance at love. It was more important to her to explore a human relationship for once than to return to a study which she needed to break from. She recognised Luvius as an opportunity not just for love, but to broaden her life, to do some of those things that she knew others did, to experience life as the Vidnet suggested it could be. “No, of course I would like to. I don’t want to work and study all the time.”

And so they went to his room, which was in the same wing as Vera’s, and they watched Vidnet and talked for a long time before she felt that she had to go and take the sleep she so needed.