Big Break

Peter's black BMW 7 Series weaved its way through the sluggish
stagnant traffic, all making their congested way to the city centre on
another monoxide morning. It was bad, but not as bad as it had been
over the previous days. Peter had seen to that.

A series of escalating strikes by conductors had paralysed the railway
network which in turn had paralysed the roads as commuters were forced
to turn to their cars. Peter, as 'Operations Executive' of 'South West
Central Link Trains' had come up with the bright idea of training
managers to replace the conductors on strike days. His idea had borne
fruit, after three weeks of stoppages they had got up to their usual
target of 95\% of services running. He had single-handedly broken the
strike.

Of course, he had had some help: The Government hadn't fined the
company as they should have done for not reaching rail service targets;
the media had smeared the unions and its leader, Rodney Bass with
stories of 'a return to the seventies' and dubbing Bass, 'Red' Bass;
and the masterstroke was the Health and Safety Executive declaring the
replacement of experienced staff who'd had months of training with
pen-pushers who'd been on a three-day course as 'temporarily
satisfactory'; oh yes and the fact that no major incident had occurred
during this time.

He put 'his song' on the CD player. He cut straight through to the
chorus:

"You're simply the best!" - he punched his left fist.

"Better than all the rest" - he waved the same arm round in a slow
horizontal arc from right-to left.

"Better than anyone" - he nodded in agreement.

"Anyone I ever met" - he pointed at this reflection in the
mirror.

He would normally have left a lot earlier but Sir Geoffrey Forbes,
Chairman of the Company had told him 'not to get in too early' and to
'come and see him at nine'. So what would this mean? Promotion? A
generous bonus at least! A visit to the Palace to collect an OBE? An
MBE? A knighthood? After all he knew how much the royals hated unions.
Had the Queen not said about the Miners Strike 'this is all about one
man isn't it?' He'd got Her Majesty's Government out of a fix, got the
railways going again and smashed the union's power at the same time. He
allowed himself yet another satisfied sigh.

He got in at nine and headed straight for Sir Geoffrey's office. He was
sent in immediately. Sir Geoffrey stood and extended a hand "Come in
Old Chap!" Sir Geoffrey was unusual amongst railway owners in that he
was very much of the old school, even down to his father having owned
the equivalent company before nationalisation. Not so much Anglo-Saxon,
more Norman, born to rule and he knew it.

"I've got to say this whole business has got me looking at things in a
different way. Things can't stay the way they are around
here&;#8230; can't stand still, what!

"Well my grandfather, who as you know owned this business, or should I
use the modern word 'franchise', second thoughts I won't it's horrible
- a franchise is a burger bar or a hotdog stand, not a railway. Anyway,
as I was saying, my grandfather said to me 'don't stand in the way of
progress and do keep learning', when the government nationalised our
family business.

"So I looked at the situation and had a chance to see some dead wood
for chopping! What do you think of unions, Allen?"

"Toerags sir!"

"Well I don't you see&;#8230; I've realised that they're a very
useful check and balance in the system. And that Bass fellow, what an
organiser of men! He's definitely the sort I want on my side, not
against me! And did you see how many members broke the strike. Or
should I say 'scabbed', and yes I will nasty fellow cos if he's
prepared to sell his peers out then what chance for his chairman? Well
go on how many?"

"None. But we didn't need any sca'&;#8230; er, we had the managers
doing their jobs sir. That was my idea."

"Which brings me nicely on to my next point. The dead wood! Why did we
have managers the conductors' jobs?"

"Because the conductors were on strike sir."

"And why were they on strike?"

"Greed sir" Peter conjectured.

"No. Their stated reason, Allen!"

"Lack of parity of pay with the drivers."

"Exactly! And why is the drivers' pay so high?"

"Errr&;#8230; Scarcity of trained drivers in the industry I
guess."

"And why are there so few trained drivers?"

"Umm&;#8230; Falling educational standards?"

"No. It's because we sacked so many after we reacquired the business
from the government. They reskilled and they were lost to the industry.
A damn shame! Anyway, back to my point: Who were doing the managers'
jobs on strike days?"

"No one sir."

"Precisely! Got me thinking&;#8230; managers&;#8230; dead wood."
Peter had not anticipated the meeting going like this. "So here's my
solution", continued Sir Geoffrey, "If we can afford to have managers
doing the conductors' jobs on three times the pay and no one doing the
managers jobs, why don't we just have the conductors, who are all fully
trained, at great expense I may add, doing their jobs on twice the
pay&;#8230;they'll settle for that&;#8230;And then get rid of the
managers&;#8230;who we clearly don't need! Simple but brilliant I'm
sure you'll agree!" Peter for once, was speechless.

"As for your situation, well you didn't exactly inspire the men did
you? They were on strike after all!"

"But sir, it was union greed and militant agitation&;#8230;" Peter
struggled to remember more compound nouns from the tabloid coverage of
the dispute.

"Oh come on old chap, times have changed you know! They wouldn't still
need unions if managers weren't such duffers sometimes. And I'm afraid
you've been a duffer indeed. You could have duffed for England. So I
guess it's toodle-pip old chap! We'll be giving you a healthy bit of
compensation and plenty of gardening leave. Oh yes we'll be wanting the
car back so your train pass can finally see a bit of daylight what?
That'll expire at the end of today."

The whole world had gone hazy as the newly ex-Operations Executive left
the office. He barely noticed the presence of Rodney Bass, his
replacement who was standing outside the Sir Geoffrey's office, about
to be told of his appointment.

Peter left without saying a word, his few possessions from work bundled
into a box. As he left the building for the last time, a voice called
out, it was the security man, "Leaving early sir?"

"Yes I'm just getting the train home."

"Oh really, which one?"

Peter paused, he was suddenly aware that he had absolutely no idea.