one last chance to be naïve

perhaps it was the fact that her husband had died

only a year ago &

on the anniversary,

she found herself overwhelmed by what the doctors

were saying about

her very own condition,

which,

of course,

was worsening---

for the doctors never do seem to come around

when things are well,

when the machine is well oiled &

running

perfectly. 

she spent her life looking for ways to believe her

own wishes,

she spent that life wanting for things not to always be

exactly as they seem &

yet,

as the years burnt away,

with things never really getting

easier,

her ability to dream became one whittled away by

the razor sharp knife

of brutal reality. 

in the morning when the doctor who’d been following

her own case

(who had been there when her husband died),

came in to deliver yet another horrible blow,

shedding light on more problems with the failing

cage that surrounded her huge heart

that seemed to be crying perpetually on its own,

she looked up at him & asked him frankly

after he’d ask if there was anything that he could do

to make her more comfortable…

“i just wish i could have one last chance to be naïve

doc…just one more.”