Tell me you got that job, and you're leaving ..

'Am l late?' I could feel that stupid, pathetic anxiety pop up when l opened the staff room door. Lucy was on duty tonight and taking the quick briefing before the show started.

'Yes. You are. Half an hour late. Come in, c'mon. Hurry up', turning her back and flap flapping her hand to wave me in from the doorway.

What? Don't bark at me like that then turn away like that. I'm not late! Listen to me for a second. No chance. Our boss was like that Marmite stuff. She either liked or didn't like you. I was the latter.

'Everyone should have a torch. Under no circumstances have your phones. If you don't know where your badge is, l will get you one. Collect programs and cash from the issue room and be on your best behavior, as we have royalty in this evening. Go to your stations, don't huddle or talk at desks and make sure your shirt is ironed. Now. Any questions. No? Good. Get to work'.

All the newbies sat dumb struck, terrified to utter a sound, and the confident chaps got big slap on the back and wide mouthed smiles from the lovely Lucy, our powerful theatre manager.

Stumbling around trying to find a place to hang up my wet coat and soggy umbrella, l was trying to recall the email l got back from Emily. It definitely said 6.10pm. I wasn't late at all. I tried to get in between her and a colleague, sorting out my phone app to explain l had the actual evidence, but that just seem to rub her up the wrong way even more.

'It's ok. You're not late', whispered Frankie, her second in command. Nice bloke. I nodded in thanks and introduced myself to the terrified first timers.

I have a question, l thought as l looked around to see new faces peering at the red-faced member of staff who gets glared at or ignored. Why is this no fun anymore?

After the very long opera, we all gathered in the stalls with our separated recycling plastic bags, full of general waste, cans, plastic and ice cream cartons we'd picked up from the floor, ready to go out to the heaving bin area.

'Right. Gerry. Go downstairs and bring up anything to go out. We have fruit flies so it needs taken out after each performance. Who's not got a bag to carry outside. Why not? If we all muck in, we can get away as soon as possible'

I ran down and out with my particular choice. Plastics. They were comparatively light, even though the filled, clear bag was half my size. Another three ushers dragged theirs out with me. It was still raining hard, and we got soaked, searching and lifting the lids on the huge bins to throw our handiwork into. Hope she doesn't keep us too long on the after show brief. My last bus was in ten minutes.

'Guys. If she asks for any problems that occurred, just keep silent or we'll be here for ages. Ok? Some of us ain't got a car to hop into!'

Lucy was sitting with the rest of the crew, all staring and quiet.

'I just want to say that the evening was a very stressful one, but we managed to look after nearly fifteen hundred patrons who were extremely difficult, some no, most of them. Ha ha .. '

Gawd. Here we go. How long will this take before she finally winds her neck in.

'Bla bla ha ha. Chatter chatter hee hee .. '

It was 10.55pm and l'd missed my bus.

As l said, it used to be such fun.