Negativity

Why do I feel like this?
How do I feel?

I suffer feelings of uncertainty, of inadequacy.
The future never seems bright enough and
The pass could have been brighter.

Lack of self-confidence, impatience, and negativity
They say are the perpetrators of my failure.
They’re always so quick to say what’s wrong
But never what’s right.
Is it any surprise then, that I fail?

***

There is an ongoing battle in me
Between pessimism and optimism –
Brothers alike but such opposites (as you well know).

I wake up sometimes and
The sun is shining and so is my heart.
On days like this, I feel content
And capable of achieving even the impossible.
Confidence then is my middle name.

But on other days – most days,
I feel like hell itself wouldn’t want me
Even if life offered me up on a silver platter.

That’s it! Life rejects me!
No matter my hard work,
The countless efforts…
The perseverance…
I get no where.
‘You must try harder!’ they tell me.
But who are they to understand what I am going through?

These feelings fade sometimes but never completely go away.
Do you know what I mean?