A Flea in the Ear

A flea in the ear
By
Duncan J Fatz

Do you know what a flea is? It is a very small insect, not much bigger
than a pin head, which moves around by hopping on its long back legs.
They are insects which live on animals or people, and, when I say that
they live on them, I really mean live on them. They jump onto the
animals body and feed on their blood. To do this they bite through the
skin, break into an artery or vein, and suck out the blood. Nearly all
fleas do this, all that is apart from a flea called Harriet.

Harriet lived with her friends and family on a dog called Montague, at
least that is what his mother called him, but his owners called him
Rolly, which is a bit of a silly name and Montague hated being called
by it. In fact this was one of only two things which upset Montague, he
didn't even mind whole families of fleas feeding off him. They made him
itch quite a bit, but, he was quite a big dog and he felt that he had
more than enough blood to spare if it helped others out.

Harriet of course did not make Montague itch because she didn't bite
him, which meant that, unlike all the other fleas, she could sit next
to his sensitive ears where she could get a really good view of what
was going on.

It was possibly because Harriet was getting such special attention that
the other fleas didn't like her, that and the fact that she didn't
drink blood - it made her different. But there was nothing that Harriet
could do about it. It wasn't as if she hadn't tried to drink blood, she
had, but she didn't like it. It felt sticky, hot and very thick, and
the taste of it made her want to be sick. It also meant that she would
have to bite Montague and she didn't want to hurt him.

"It won't do him any harm," Ophelia, Harriet's sister said. "He has
lots of blood to spare and if you don't drink some you're going to be
very weak and thin."

"No I won't, Ophi," Harriet replied. "There are lots of other things I
can eat. Quite often I find sugar down by the table and if I wet it I
can suck it up. There seems to be lots of energy in that."

"But it's not the same as blood," Ophelia said. "Blood has got
everything you could want in it, and fleas have always eaten it. If you
keep on trying it you might eventually grow to like it."

"I don't want to grow to like it. And I don't see why I should have to
eat something just because everybody else does."

"Because if you don't behave like everyone else they won't let you be
their friend." Ophelia said.

"I don't care," Harriet said. "I don't want to be their friend anyway."
And, without even saying good-bye, Harriet jumped away to Montague's
ear where no one else could follow her.

But the thing was that Harriet did care, she cared very much. She
didn't enjoy being alone and she wanted to join in with the games of
all the other fleas. It wasn't much fun being all on your own, and now
she might have upset Ophi, the only one who ever talked to her or
seemed to care about what happened to her.

Harriet sat down next to Montague's ear and sulked, but , after a
while, a loud booming sound broke through into her thoughts and she
felt Montague's ear fall back beneath her. Harriet was about to have
the ride of her life time.

As I said earlier, there were two things that Montague hated, and I
told you that one of them was the name which his owners had given to
him, but, I didn't tell you what the other was, but, now I will. The
other thing which Montague hated was a bath. The water made his hair
all stick together, the soap got in his eyes and the disinfectant in it
hurt his friends the fleas who lived on him.

Montague was lying in the bedroom when he heard his name being called
by his mistress.
"Rolly, Rolly," she called, "come here. We have to do something
now."

Montague's ears went back as he tried to listen harder. There was
something about the voice that he didn't like. It was much sweeter than
it normally was when he was being called, and he thought that he could
hear something else as well. It was the rustle of an apron. His
mistress only put an apron on when she was going to try and bath him.
So that was the something that she said we had to do.

His mistress's legs came into view around the bedroom door.

"Come on Rolly time for your ....." But she didn't have time to say
bath, because Montague jumped up and dashed for the door, slamming past
her legs and making his way for the stairs at a run.

"Children," his mistress cried, "stop Rolly. He's trying to escape. Get
your Dad."

Harriet, as I said before, was sitting on Montague's ear when she felt
his ears go back and heard the booming noise which she didn't know was
Montague's mistress calling to him. What she did know was that
something was wrong, because she felt Montague's ears go back and felt
the blood suddenly start to pump very quickly through the thin skin
around them.

Harriet looked up and saw two huge pink slabs of hot meat walking
towards her (which were the legs of Montague's mistress) and then with
a sudden surge the ear beneath her rose into the air and she was being
flung towards them as she clutched onto the hair.

The enormous pink tree trunks of meat rushed toward her and crashed
into Montague's side, but he avoided them, turned and raced down a
narrow passageway. Huge cliffs of cupboards and shelves with paper
things on stretched up into the sky and behind them, and Harriet heard
a deep booming noise roar out behind them so loudly that she almost let
go of her hair in fright.

Down the passage way they raced, blues, brown, yellows all flashing
past. One wooden bar, two wooden bars, three and then a cliff falling
and falling away into nothing. Oh no!
Harriet closed her eyes in fright and hoped that Montague would stop,
but he didn't. She felt him gather himself up and, Woosh, he flung
himself into space. They fell and fell and then, luckily, Woomph! they
landed on a ledge. Harriet heaved a sigh of relief, but then , she
couldn't believe it, she felt Montague tensing himself again for
another leap. Woosh, they took off again and landed on another ledge,
then woosh and another.
Harriet was beginning to feel quite sick now, and she hadn't even drunk
any blood, but then, they stopped falling. They hit a level bit and the
ear which Harriet was clinging on to got flung out to the side as they
turned a corner. There was a bang as they hit something and Harriet
looked up to see a huge tower of wood with a tree in a bowl toppling
over and crashing towards them, but, before it could reach them, they
were leaping of another cliff and the tree smashed to the ground behind
them.

Loud booming noises were coming from all over the place now and Harriet
looked up to see some smaller blobs of meat trying to get in the way,
but they just twisted, pushed past them and headed for an opening in
the mountain behind them. Clear cold air met them and huge green
leathery things brushed past them, but, at last, they stopped moving
and all was quiet once more.

Montague lay down under a tree and slept.

Things settled down quite a bit after that, except that the other fleas
ignored Harriet even more than ever now, because she had seen things
that they hadn't been able to, being stuck down in the long hair of
Montague's back. This meant that the other fleas got on with raising
even bigger families on Montague's blood and enjoying themselves
playing games, and Harriet stayed by herself,searching for sugar and
other food, and occasionally being visited by Ophelia her sister.

Harriet was very grateful to Ophelia for her visits, because she knew
that the other fleas were saying nasty things to Ophelia for still
being her friend, but, Ophelia didn't seem to mind. She didn't even try
to persuade Harriet to drink blood any more. They just talked about all
sorts of different things.
On one day they were talking about Montague.
"I don't think he is very well," Harriet said.

"Why not?" Ophelia asked.

"Because he just seems to lie around all day and he hardly eats
anything. Do you think we might be taking too much blood from
him?"

"I shouldn't think so," Ophelia replied. "I agree that there are far
more of us than ever before, and we are all drinking his blood, but he
is so big he must have lots to spare."

"Well I don't know," Harriet said. "If he is ill then so many taking
his blood might make it difficult for him to get better."

"You might have a point there," Ophelia agreed. "His blood is tasting
different at the moment. It does not taste so sweet as it used to,
Maybe you are right. I will go and have a word with the others and see
what they think."

When the next day came, however, Ophelia returned to meet Harriet just
below Montague's ear with the news that the others hadn't thought very
much about her idea at all.
"They just laughed at me," she said. "They said that I was stupid to
even think of such a thing."

"Did you tell them that it was my idea?" Harriet asked.

"No," Ophelia replied, "you're in enough problems with them as it is
without me telling them that."

But Harriet hadn't really heard her. Instead she was listening to a
loud booing noise which seemed to be coming closer, and above her she
saw Montague's ear fold back.

She turned to Ophelia. "Run for it," she shouted, "and tell the others
to hang on. I think we're in for trouble."

"What do you mean?" Ophelia asked.

"Just do it, and do it now."

Ophelia heard the fright in Harriet's voice and jumped away down onto
Montague's body, but Harriet jumped up towards the ear and clung on.
She felt the blood beginning to pump quickly through Montague's ear and
felt him trying to rise underneath her.

Montague was not well. He hadn't been well for some days now and he
didn't feel as if he was getting any better. He just didn't seem to
have any energy. So when he saw his mistress coming towards him with
her apron on it was all he could do to stand.

"You're to weak to even run away from your bath, aren't you boy," his
mistress said gently. "Never mind this bath will make you better. It
will get rid of all of those nasty fleas which are making you
poorly."

Montague didn't understand what she was saying, but, he heard the tone
of her voice and knew that she wanted to help him, and as he was too
weak to run off anyway. He let himself be picked up and carried to the
bathroom.

Hanging from the arms of his mistress Montague saw the white gleaming
porcelain of the bath coming towards him and saw that it was filled
with white foamy water. He knew that in a moment all of his flea family
would be dead. All? Maybe he could save one, and, reaching up with his
paw, as he was lowered towards the water, he scratched his ear.

Swiped off from her resting place on the ear by a huge leathery paw,
Harriet fell towards the bath, but, she was lucky. She landed unhurt on
the edge of the bath and was able to sit there whilst she saw Montague
and all of her friends and family being lowered into the water.

What a commotion there was! Fleas were jumping left, right, up, down
trying to escape, and everywhere was the sound of frightened shouts and
hundreds of tiny splashes as they fell into the water. Some were
managing to swim but most were being sucked down under foam, and none
could jump clear of the bath. But then Harriet saw Ophelia, struggling
to the top of one of the hairs above the water and clinging on as if
her life depended on it - which it did.

"Ophi," Harriet shouted. "Hold on, I'm coming to get you."

"No, save yourself," Ophelia shouted back, but, it was too late.
Harriet had jumped down and landed beside her on the hair.

"You idiot!" Ophelia screamed "Now you will die as well. If no one else
can jump out of here you certainly can't."

"Yes I can." Harriet said. "I told you I've been eating sugar. It gives
me energy, and if we both jump together I think we can make it."

"Don't be silly," Ophelia said.

"I'm not," Harriet said. "What choice have we got. Look he's going
down. Now hold onto me and get ready. Hold on. Wait, wait.......Jump!"
and they jumped. And, as Montague disappeared under the water, Harriet
and Ophelia sailed up into the air to land safely on the edge of the
bath. Which is where they stayed for a long time, but no other fleas
survived. They stopped on the edge of the bath right until the time
when Montague was better and then they went to visit him. But, it
wasn't just a visit, because they lived with him in his beautiful clean
fur, and neither of them ever drank his blood again.