L Upliftment brings joy

No: 12 September 2003

Today's meditation was not a textbook one. I had had a disturbed nights
sleep - burglar alarms and foxes - and then anxiety had dug in to keep
me awake. This is a common pattern, the slightest excuse and I will be
awake finding all sorts of things to worry about.

Then after meditating my partner mentioned that the ice cream cooling
in the kitchen - nectar of the Gods, thank you Moro's cookbook - needed
attention. I was busy pinging cardamon and rose ice cream about the
kitchen when I had a realisation that I was in fact living out one of
the affirmations that we use, and it 'worked'. I went back to finish
the meditation, full of ice cream!

"It is easy to criticise, demean and question what you do. It is easy
to let doubt and depression into your circle. To start stirring the
cocktail of self-confidence and self-worth with uselessness and
failure. It can be a powerful mixture often tasted during childhood and
magnified during adolescence.

You say an affirmation every morning (Upliftment brings joy, spreading
upliftment towards others brings satisfaction.) and yet you have not
felt any relationship to the words, no spark of joy, untouched by the
energy that affirmations usually carry.

Look back to what you wrote yesterday (K Making more out of life.) and
what you describe as your new morning routine. Recall your delight in
describing the writing up of your meditation and the urgency in wanting
to get that onto the site before starting the rest of the day. Is that
not satisfaction?

It is far better to take a step, to do something anyway even if you
consider it imperfect than not to take the step at all. It is the
imperfections of mankind that create the learning. It is the overcoming
of obstacles and self-doubt that paves the path to progress.

Each step is a success whether it is a faltering one, or not.
Confidence comes from moving forward anyway. Your dreams are never
following in your wake."

Dot.med