E: Self Preservation

Self Preservation
by

Dr. Leyrose

Robert was having another of those weeks. The refrigerator was broken
and the last time the repairman came over he told Robert that if it
broke again he might as well use it for storage. It had been a good
one, he had had it so long he really couldn't remember when he bought
it. But now was a really bad time for it to break again. With the twins
starting school next month, the money he spent to repair the car, and
the monthly bills, he didn't know where the money was coming from. Many
people at Church had offered several times to help him and his family,
but he knew they needed their money as badly as he did. He had accepted
some gifts of food, clothes and other things over the months. They
seemed to come at just the right time, but this was different. For two
days now they had used an old ice chest to keep the sparce collection
of food from spoiling, but that couldn't go on much longer. Many people
would have been depressed or deeply bitter to find themselves in his
predicament. But Robert continued day after day, week after week to
draw strength from his family. His family, the one he had gained when
he accepted Christ, was a continuous source of renewal and hope for
him. He knew that he was never alone, that his struggle was felt by
others and he would never have to bear any of it on his own shoulders.
Sometime though, he would become a little sad as he looked at the faces
of his beloved twin girls Cheryl Ayne and Anna Marie. They looked to
him for everything and brought such a mixture of joy and heart wrending
longing. As he sat debating his next move, he remembered an old
collection of baseball cards he had saved from his childhood. He found
them carefully stored in a footlocker he bought at a yard sale. As he
examined each one, he remembered the joy they brought him as a boy and
the tremendous fun he had collecting them from stores, friends, and
recieving them as gifts. They sure carried a lot of memories, memories
of good times, of simpler times. But now, at this very moment, they
were worth more than he ever dreamed. They were the answer to their
problem.
With the money he had gotten from the pawn shop, he drove over to the
hardware store to look at used refrigerators. They didn't own anything
that was new, but everything they had was a treasure in it's own right.
Everywhere in their house could be found something collected from yard
sales, second hand stores, and even the town's garbage dump. But, with
a some old fashioned hard work and a little patience each item more
than served it's purpose. To him, they were anything but poor, they
were very fortunate. To him, everything they touched, everything they
returned to usefulness, was a rare treasure. It was even exciting for
him and his girls as they explored others' throwaways and discards to
find another new priceless item to add to their meager furnishings. The
fun they had restoring the beds for the twins was unmatched, and they
both loved their newest addition. It had been a while since he visited
the store, but he knew that once he saw it again he would remember. He
knew about where it was and as he drove he made a game out of it for
his girls. They loved playing games as they drove around looking for
sales or things people had set out for junk. But today they were going
to a real store. The excitement was like electricity filling the entire
vehicle. As Robert pulled the old car into a parking place he announced
that they had arrived. Now the treasure hunt would begin.
Inside were beautiful new appliances lining each wall and just packed
all in between. Slowly they walked along amazed at the new gadgets
found on each. Wow it was amazing how much things had changed in just a
few years. But what he soon discovered was that with the new additions
and frills came a huge price tag. As they continued to look, and
examined price tags, his heart began to sink. They could never afford
these, he'd have to ask about their used ones. With a short look around
he saw one of the employees walking toward them. As he drew closer both
realized they were acquainted. Without the slightest hint of
displeasure the older gentleman escorted Robert and his onterage to
another room in the rear of the store. With assistance form the
gentleman and his two girls, Robert quickly began to narrow down his
choices. With only two possibilities left to consider, be checked the
price of each. Price, more than anything else, would dictate the
ultimate choice, but he wanted his girls to be in on the decision.
After all, if it were going to be added to the family treasure trove,
he figured everyone should have their say about it. But he became a
little more discouraged after checking the price of the two models.
Both refrigerators were still more than he could afford. As he turned
to thank the old gentleman for his assistance, he noticed something
over in the back of the store. There, almost completely hidden by
things piled all about it, was an old refrigerator.
Only seconds after he spied the old thing, his girls both fixed their
gaze on it and off they went. Excited about their find they danced
about it almost falling over the debris that enclosed it. As he and the
gentleman began to edge toward it the man said, " I didn't even think
to mention it to you. We've had it around for some time. Each week it
got moved further and further back and finally ended up back here. I
don't even know if it works. Hal was the last one that worked on it and
he's been gone for a long time. I think the boss is planning to throw
it away. Even if he agreed to let you take it, I'm sure he wouldn't
want to give you any sort of guarantee. If he did, mind you, it would
be an "as is" type of transaction." As unpromising as it sounded,
Robert asked the man to see about it while he and his girls inspected
it further. After the man walked away he turned to his advisors and
asked their opinion. To his surprise they each danced with the prospect
of gaining the old worn refrigerator. "Look at it." Cheryl began. "It's
perfect. It looks lonely. Can we have it daddy, can we? We'll both help
give it a bath and everything." You would have thought they were
talking about getting a puppy or something. How could he refuse that
enthusiasm. Even if it didn't work, he thought that for what he would
probably have to pay for it there would be enough left to repair it.
But it all depended now on the owners decision.
A few minutes later the man returned and slowly walked over to Robert.
As he approached Robert recognized the look. That solemn, distasteful,
bad news kind of look was written all over his face. As the man handed
the girls some change for a soft drink and looked for approval from
Robert, he sent them to the other side of the store. Then with his hand
on top of the old refrigerator he began to explain the answer from the
owner. It seemed the owner was afraid of legal actions and the sort.
The owner, as the man explained carefully, really wanted to help
Robert, and offered a really great price for one of the other used
units. He even was prepared to give them an extended warranty free just
for their business in the future. Besides the man added, the owner said
he remembered what it was like to be down on your luck. Robert
carefully considered the offer, a very tempting offer, but as always he
had to be practical. As good as it sounded, he thanked the man and
began to walk toward his girls. He knew they would be disappointed, but
there were other places to go yet. Who knew, they might find something
better some place else. After all, he hoped, they would enjoy searching
again as much as they always seemed to. Before Robert could walk away,
the man told him one more thing. Wryly, he looked at Robert and said,
"The boss told me to set the old thing outside today before we close.
He also said that if someone were to come by and pick it up, well, he
couldn't stop them. And, if they were to do something like that he sure
hoped that the old thing worked, because he didn't know where parts
could be found for it." Then with a wink, the man began to clear the
rubble from around the old fridge.
Robert collected his girls and along the way home explained that they
had to wait to pick up the fridge. Then, trying to get them through the
disappointment of the moment, he began to require their ideas for
giving the old thing a new look. The ideas from the twins flowed like a
raging river. Some were imaginative, some humorous, some even
enchanting, but they settled on one that seemed better fitting for them
and the old frige. When they got home, the girls pulled out the well
used paint set they had gotten last week from an elderly lady at
Church. Many of the paint tubes were almost empty, the brushes were
almost worn out, and some of the colors were missing altogether. But
there should be more than enough to do the job. Excitedly they gathered
other materials. They looked for a pail and cleaning supplies. They
searched and explored every box and bag in the small house. In the
boxes the girls used for a dresser, they found lots and lots of
decorations they could use. Oh it was going to be fun, it was going to
be the best adventure they had shared so far.
After Robert was sure the hardware store was closed, he collected
Cheryl Ayne and Anna Marie and off they went. This tme he didn't have
to search for the store. They drove straight to it and pulled around
back. Telling the twins to wait in the car, he got out and looked for
the old fridge. From where he stood he couldn't see it, so he walked on
over to the other side of the stoor. There only minutes ago the old
thing had rested, but it looked as thogh someone else needing a
refrigerator had gotten there before them. What was he going to say to
his girls? He couldn't lie to them, that was one thing he promised he
would never do. If he couldn't tell them the truth he just kept things
to himself. But he couldn't keep this to himself. Granted, they weren't
stranger to disappointment, but he always tried to soften the blow.
Somehow he had always found a way to help them understand and at the
same time move forward. It was amazing to him how well they always
seemed to meet every challenge with such positive outlooks. Part of
that was due to his own refusal to give in and allow things to stop him
from enjoying the simple pleasures of his life. He never really stopped
to think about their misfortunes as misfortunes, he always chose to
look at them as challenges and prospects for finding a new treasured
experience. He treasured each and every experience he was allowed to
share with his girls. Together they made quite a team. After explaining
what he had discovered, the two little lights in his life responded
with a heart warming answer to the situation. Anna Marie said, "Maybe
the person that got the frigerator really needed it. We still have the
ice chest at home. We can make our old one pretty and use it for
something else." Then Cheryl Ayne added, "Maybe tomorrow we can find
another one that will be just as good." Now how could he argue with
that kind of logic or even that positive view of things? He just hugged
them both and took them back home, singing old hymns as they
drove.
When they arrived home again, Robert found a note taped to the front
door. In barely legible script it said, "Sorry we missed you. The door
was unlocked so we took it to the kitchen. Hope it works for a while."
While he read the note the girls made their way into the house and in
just seconds screams of joy began to fill the house. Convinced that
their daddy had planned this as a surprise, they ran to grab his neck
and thank him. He would often do things like that. One time he found a
pair of lamps and, after cleaning and polishing them, placed them in
the girls' room for them to discover. With them tuggung at him and
asking him to hurry, the girls led him to the side of the room they
used for a kitchen. There, resting beside the old cast iron sink was
the old fridge. Someone had cleaned it and it was already purring away.
Eagerly they placed the eggs, bacon, and other food inside. Then, just
as they planned the girls set about decorating it. With every stroke of
the brush, with evry loving addition of old oil paint, they began to
transform the old worn surface into an original artwork. As Robert
watched, he realized the gift his two girls possesed. It wasn't their
joy and beautiful nature he was seeing, it was a different gift. They
were really, actually, painting a masterpiece. It was so real looking,
so beautiful, he was almost overcome. How had this remaind hidden from
him, he though he knew everything about those two. Genuinely intrigued,
he watched as that old worn out refrigerator transformed into a
tremendous collage full of meaning and life. With the last touches
applied by those small hands, they all stood back and gazed in
amazement at the wonder that stood before them. It was truly a gift, a
gift that somehow he would have to help them share. A gift, he was
convinced needed to be encouraged and developed. He would strive to
help them, he would find a way to do just those things. Even as
wonderful as this was, there was something waiting even more amazing.
There was something waiting for them to discover that even they would
have trouble understanding, or believing.
The next morning Robert removed half of the egges and the rest of the
bacon for breakfast. While preparing them, he asked the girls to set
the table and pour some juice for each of them. He was so proud of
them, for many reasons. They were so industrious and had learned to do
a great many things to help out. As soon as breakfast was over he would
again drop them by Margie's on his way to work. He never talked about
his work with the girls, but it was all he could find. He wasn't
getting rich, but there usually was enough to meet most of their needs.
At least it was honest work and he felt good every day as he returned
home. There was just something about working hard and doing the best he
could that made him feel good. Hopefully with his paycheck and the
money from the cards, he would have enough to buy school supplies and
groceries. But, that wasn't going to bother him right now. The morning
was a special time for them and he wasn't going to dillute it with all
that money nonsense. This was the time, as they sat together, to be
thankful for what they had and for the belssings that seemed to
continue to embrace their family. And today they had even more reason
to be thankful, even if they didn't realize it yet.
After they left on their way to start another day, the old
refrigerator just sat there humming along. During all the excitement
not one of them had noticed the power cord or checked under the old
machine. The power cord, frayed and worn from years and years of
service lay hidden behing the fridge. Under it, now filled with lint,
dust, and all kinds of accumulations there was a surprise. The
compressor, which had locked up about five years ago, had been removed
by Hal when he attempted to get the fridge ready for sale. Since he
discovered how badly the compressor was damaged, and the other problems
with the old thing, he set it aside for when he had more time.
Occasionally Hal would spend a little time fixing small things but the
search for a new compressor seemed fruitless. The old fridge had been
around so long the prospect of finding parts, especially a compressor
seemed very unlikely. One day, out of desperation, he set an old
compresor form a newer model under it, but didn't get a chance to
install it. He figured that when, and if, someone bought it he could
install the compressor then. In the mean time, he had lots to do to
spend any more time working on that old crate. The store had just
expanded and began to carrier more lines and products. It was all he
could do now to keep up with his workload. As time passed, the old
fridge just got pushed further and further back away from the other
appliances. Before long it and it's missing parts were removed from the
showroom floor altogether. Since only Hal knew about the missing
compressor, eventually the one he had planned to intall was used to
repair another unit. The old fridge just became a collector of junk,
more of a problem than anything else. Neglected, it just sat as more
and more debris piled up around it.
For the next few days the morning routine for Robert and his girls
continued. Each morning Robert removed half of the eggs and the rest of
the bacon for breakfast. And each morning the girls took care of their
chores as well. But what Robert seemed to overlook Cheryl Ayne and Anna
Marie discovered the second day. After that, every morning they would
giggle to themselves as they helped. To them it was quickly obvious
that the old fridge was paying them back for giving it a home and just
for loving it at all. They discovered that no matter what was put into
the old fridge, it never ran out. If they put a glass of water in at
night, drank it the next day, it was there again the next night. It
didn't matter what they put in, the old fridge kept replacing it as
they used it. The ten eggs they originally put in the fridge, for
example, had made breakfast for them for several days, and there were
still ten eggs in the fridge every morning. As the days passed the
girls just accepted it, and even though they still giggled at ther
daddy for not realizing it, they just continued to love the old fridge.
They figured that one day soon, if he didn't notice what was happening,
they would sit him down and explain it.
When Friday came Robert asked the girls if they wanted to go
adventuring again, like they did every weekend. But this time he
thought a trip to the next town would be nice for a change. As soon as
he suggested it Cheryl and Anna jumped and danced with excitement. This
meant they would have the opportunity to explore maybe even newer and
better places. Anyway, at least, they were going to get the chance to
ride for a while and see something new. They just loved the way their
daddy made everything an adventure. The best part to them was that they
got to do something with him. It didn't really matter to much what it
was, just as long as they did it together. The next morning the girls
woke Robert up just like they did Christmas morning. After a short
breakfast, they piled in the old car and began their trek to the next
town. Along the way, the girls were sure, they would find wonderful
places to stop and inspect new additions to the family treasure trove.
It was a beautiful day and the three couldn't have been happier as they
explored all the yard sales and flea markets along their route. It was
going to be late that evening before they returned, but to them it was
time well spent.
Two young men, desperately trying to evade the police, broke the glass
in the back door of Roberts house. In just seconds they were inside,
and still panicked, they searched for a place to stash the small brown
bag. In their haste to get away they concluded that if they did get
stopped by the police, it would be better if they didn't have the money
on them. As they looked around, they figured the house was empty. There
were only a few furnishings and the place looked like someone had
packed up, moved out, and left the remaining items behind. The
stairwell to the second floor had been closed off, probably they
figured, because it had been condemned or something. As they surveyed
the house for a hiding place for their bag, they heard a commotion in
the back yard. Figuring it to be the police hot on their heels, they
threw the bag into the old fridge, slammed it shut, and ran like mad
out the front door. In their frenzy to avoid capture they never
bothered to notice the color of the house, it's number, or anything
that could help them find it again. Later, several blocks away, they
finally stopped and slowly began to regain their senses. When they
realized their blunder it was much too late. So they just chocked it up
to stupidity and inexperience but were mainly just thankful that they
hadn't gotten caught. The 120 dollars or so that was in the brown bag
wasn't that important to them. Not nearly important enough to risk
trying to find it again.
One of the officers, looking for the two boys, cruised by the house
shortly after they left. As he rode by the front the officer noticed
the front door open. With a call to dispatch other officers were on
their way in minutes. Carefully they investigated the house, but they
were too late. All they could do now was file a report and call back
later to find out what had been stolen. From the looks of the place
they figured the thieves had gotten away with quite a lot. After taking
a few pictures, dusting for prints, and one last look around the police
closed up the house the best they could and left. On the table, one
officer left a note to call the department as soon as possible. For
now, there was little more the police could do. There were many other
areas to check and much more to investigate as they returned to their
search.
Robert and his two girls arrived home well after dark. They were all
tired from their adventure and were looking forward to spending the
rest of the evening relaxing. After Robert opened the door, Cheryl ran
straight to the old refrigerator and pulled out the pitcher of ice cold
water. They were all thirsty and the thought of a cold glass of water
was very inviting. Just before closing the door to the frodge, Cheryl
noticed a brown bag lying on the shelf. Sitting the pitcher on the
counter for Anna Marie, she reached back into the fridge and grabbed
the bag. While Anna Marie began pouring the water, she opened the bag
and squealed as she examined the contents. It was money, lots of money!
The little brown paper bag held more money than she had ever seen in
her whole life. Quickly she revealed the contents to Anna Marie and
they both looked at each other and just giggled. Robert was standing by
the table reading the note when Cheryl came up to him to hand him the
bag. As he took the bag from her he asked where she had found it. With
another giggle, she told him she found it in the old refrigerator.
After a brief look around, Robert easily found where the two boys had
entered the house. The window would have to be fixed, but first he
picked up the phone and dialed the number for the police. Shortly
afterward and officer knocked on the front door. As Robert invited him
in he noticed the officer seemed a bit old for that type of work. The
man, who had white hair, a powerful but pleasant voice, and a beaming
face, thanked Robert for calling and asked if he had any idea who the
culprits were. After a few more questions, and as the officer slowly
examined the bag, he told the Robert and the girls that most people
wouldn't have bothered to mention the money. He told them that most
people would have just kept the money and made a big deal about the
break in. Anna Marie handed the old gentleman a cold glass of water
explaining how thirsty she thought he must be after his long walk. She
didn't miss much, for in fact there was no police car parked out
front.
With a broad smile and twinkle in his eye, the old officer took the
glass of water and thanked her for her kindness. Robert asked if he
would like to stay for supper and invited him to sit for a while.
Almost glowing the old officer graciously declined and said he had to
leave. He explained that he had much to do, but would remember the
hospitality and gracious invitation. As he prepared to leave, he looked
down at the twins and said, "Your father is an honest man. The world
needs more people like him. He new exactly what to do with the money as
soon as he saw it. I'll bet you are very proud of him and I'm sure he
is proud of you." Then he turned his gaze to Robert and said, "They are
special. You have been blessed in many ways. I know you will always try
to do the right thing for them and you. I think next week is going to
be a very rewarding and giving week. See you later."
For the next few days little was mentioned of the break in. Robert and
the girls just continued their lives and maintained the habits they had
developed together. That is except for one thing. The girls had added a
new, secret routine to their morning. Each morning while Robert was
busy getting breakfast ready, either Cheryl Anne or Anna Marie would
sneak a brown bag into their room. They were planning a big surprise
for their daddy. But they had a problem, a twofold problem. When were
they going to tell him and how were they going to explain it. They were
both sure he was going to have trouble believing the truth about the
old refrigerator. They were both still a little curious about why he
hadn't figured it out already. Many times they just wanted to tell him,
to show him how wonderful the old refrigerator was. But they kept
hoping he would discover it himself, at least then when they told him
the rest he would understand. Another week passed, and just as the
girls had built up the courage to tell Robert their secret, he came
home with some news of his own. Excitedly he sat the girls down and
told them he had recieved a promotion at work and held in his hand a
large bonus check. As he waited for the girls to settle down, he asked
if the girls would like to have a special supper. He wanted to invite
some of the people in the church to share in his blessing. So he asked
the two girls to change and get ready for company. He also explained
that soon they would be able to open the upstairs and start using the
whole house. That meant the girls would have their own room and they'd
all be able to enjoy the whole house. After a short celebration Robert
walked to the kitchen as the girls went to change for supper. Looking
back over her shoulder Cheryl Anne noticed her father open the fridge
and it looked like he was going to place the check inside.
After the two girls finished telling Robert the whole story they sat
back and waited to see what he would do or say. Robert, kneeling down,
hugged them both and thanked them for telling him everything. Then he
explained that he had, on several occasions, felt something strange was
going on, but didn't try to find out what it was. He admitted that even
though he enjoyed every hour of every day with them, his job had really
been on his mind much of the time. He also admitted that he sometimes
worried about not being able to give them a better life. Then, with
Cheryl Anne in one hand and Anna Marie in the other, they walked into
the kitchen. He looked down at them both and said, " I know a young
family that sure needs a refrigerator. So what do you think?"
The next afternoon Robert helped the young man load the old
refrigerator into a borrowed pickup. And with his girls by his side
said, " We hope you enjoy it as much as we did and that you are blessed
as we were."