Why Don't Women Want to Watch the Hardcore with Me

In my many bar excursions in the past five years of my life one
question has puzzled me and one question alone: Why don't more women
want to watch hard core porn with me?

C'mon, everyone knows that women masturbate just as much as guys! Hell,
they brag about it at parties all the time.

Yet, for some ungodly reason, when I try to breech the topic of hard
core porn with them, they have a tendency to get upset or
irritated...even mad!

I mean, c'mon, they admit that they like sex, right? So, why not come
over to the attic above my mom's house (I have a kinda Fonzi set up)
and watch a little of the H-core with me?

Example: Last night, I'm at a bar, I meet this lovely lady and convo is
going good, but when I get to the part about how much I'd like to have
her over to watch the hard core and eat pizza pockets she acts like I
asked her to blumpkin my dog????

What the hell?

I mean, if she's human and likes sex what's to stop her from watching
the likes of Jenna Jameson rub oil on Taylor in a three way dildo
sensation with India?

Or, if I may be so bold, check out a fine double disc of angle splendor
on my DVD with Broomsticking Brenda , the newest from Vivid, over a
case of Schmidt and hot pockets. Of course I'd follow this
sexstravaganza with her choice of fudgsicles or puddin' pops.

And make no mistake, I would certainly be willing to put her on all
fours and give her a dirty pounding John Holmes-style.

Boy, it just never ends out there with these women and their hang
ups.

Well, I better get off, I'm meeting Jim and Duster for a triple threat:
a case of Schmidt, Debbie Does Debbie, and a large helping of Taco Bell
20 packs - Family Size y'all!
-A