Hagar

Hagar/ Edna Aphek

In the unbearable heat she followed her father. She was mad at him for making her go with him on this desert voyage. The memory of the snakes twisting at her ankles, the sand storms, climbed up to her cheeks at night. Drops of sweat accumulated at her ear lobes like precious earrings. One of the donkeys collapsed under its load, at the border of the land of Canaan. From there on she had to carry a great portion of the goods. Many of the soldiers tried to cup her breasts as she went by, to touch her young hips as she moved. Revulsion turned inside her like the sword in her Garden of Eden.
She was mad at her father. The desert wind sang to her at night, veiling her heels.
She was mad at her father. Her anger followed her footsteps.

When she was with the Girgashite people she felt good. She bathed in their tent encampment and dined on their cakes. None of their men knew her. At night she would sing to them like the wind, which they craved for. They admired her as they would a goddess that grew out of their hilly land. Her father converted some of the precious stones for donkeys and a lioness, who would escort them and watch over them. Her diamond like ears glittered in excitement. Yiska, her father called her: a precious stone.
Only the Egyptian farmers called her The Tempting Hagar, the one who excites them
And disappears later on like the wind.
Her friends would dance among the men at night, rolling with them in the sand. And she yearned. Longing grew inside her like a swollen seed.
Her diamond ears glittered with excitement. The lioness¦ Yiska, the wind called her, Yiska. They passed through the land of the Hittites. Jackals fled at the smell of the lioness. Her armpits were filled with the cold of the mountains. Drops of precious stones penetrated her skin. Small stones of ice made up her face at night.
She would curl up in the warmth of the lioness, whom she wore like a coat.
Three months have passed, when they finally arrived in Ur- Kasdim.
The lioness was tired, her dresses like her tearing eyelids, were worn out.
Her feet sucked hope from the city, at the gates of which she stood.
A wonderful flow flooded her body. She wasn't mad at her father anymore.
Her eyes lit up.
The lioness roared.
The idol store was empty. "Terah was carved on the stone in front of the store.
"The richest merchant in Ur -Kasdim, the girls whispered as she entered.
They looked at her with envy.
Terah wasn't there. Only he was there.
The arrows of his eyes in her breasts. She flushed. It has been years since she flushed.
She reddened again. Her feet's hope engulfed her. I would love to have a son with him, she yearned.
His face towards her, asking. "I want a small statute, she said, "Ashtoret
"What for? he asked. "You have the body of Ashtoret. Your eyes are like the stars, your breasts- fertility, your hips-fertile soil, your thighs- love.
The horses of his eyes galloped inside his body. She swirled on her heels.
She ran out, so that she won't stay there forever.
"Come back he called. "Come back my Ashtoret, my goddess.
At night she wore the warmth of the lioness, warmed by remembering him.
When the soldiers cupped her breasts on her way back, she was dull and numb.
The touch of their bodies didn't make her shiver, nor disgusted her.
She left her body behind. Her Ashtoret.When they knew her, she was numb.
They would take her but she was never taken.
In one of the battles in Canaan she and her father were taken captives. The lioness was killed. A Hebrew family, of the nomadic Habiru tribes took them in the Sidim Valley.
She became a maid , a maid to Sarai.
She lifted the wing of the tent. Her naval cord trembled. He was there. Him, from the idol store. He has become a believer in one God. Now he would not want her anymore. She knew. He would not want a pagan, idol worshiper maid.
To the fountain in the wilderness, she galloped.
"Where to maid? Where are you going? "As it pleaseth me, she said, "as it pleaseth me.
The arrows of his eyes in her nipples. She flushed. His hand shot into her body. He cupped her breasts.
"you he yelled, "you are my Ashtoret, You are my Goddess.
Her sun stood still inside her body, his moon inside her thighs.
The rim of his sun above her, she fainted.
"She has no child , he said, "and won't have one.
"Please be mine, my Yiska, my Hagar, please be mine.
She opened her eyes. His sun above her. Her body hovered in the sun, celebrating her marriage.