The Famous Three

1.
Toby was as fat as a jug. His ears were big enough to be the
handles.
Darren was as thin as a drainpipe, and nearly as tall.
Mickey was as small as a mouse and his nose was pointy like a
rat.
They were the terror of Duckpool Flats where they lived!

They were the terror of Duckpool School where they sometimes
went.
They were . . . The Gang With No Name!
"We're The Gang With No Name," Drainpipe Darren said one day.
"We gotta have a name," Toby the jug said with a fierce sneer on his
fat face.
"Yeah!" said Mickey the Rat. His mother always told him to say "Yes",
not "Yeah". But he did it just to annoy her. "Yeah!" he said
again.
"Hah!" said Toby the Jug . . . but don't ask me why he said
that.
"What?" Darren Drainpipe muttered meanly.
"Let's think of one," Toby snarled.

Toby thought. His eyes closed. They vanished in the fat folds of his
face.
Darren tried to think but he'd forgotten how to. He reached up to
unscrew a light bulb on the landing of the flats. With any luck someone
would fall down the stairs in the dark.
Schhhhplizzzzle!
"Hoo!" Darren yelled. Her sucked his burnt fingers. He should have
switched the light off first.
"How about . . ." Mickey the Rat squeaked.
"What?" Darren said, blowing on his fingers.
"The Good, The Bad And The Ugly?"
"Hah!" scoffed Toby. He stamped down the stairs in boots as big as
dodgem cars. "We're a gang. None of us can be the 'Good'!"
"Yeah," muttered Mickey.
"And none of us is 'Ugly' . . . except maybe Darren."
"What?" said Darren. "I've burnt me fingers!"
"And we can't call ourselves 'The Bad, The Bad and the Ugly . . . daft
that!"
"Yeah," Mickey mumbled.

They reached the ground floor where a pram was parked. Mickey the Rat
ripped a dummy from Baby Bloggs's gummy mouth . . .
Ffffplopppp!
. . . and he left it bawling . . .
Oooowhaaaa!
"What about The Famous Three - like in that book Miss Fitt read in
class. It had a girl called George in it!"
"What?" asked Darren. He had trouble hearing the little gangster
because he was so high and Mickey was so low.
"Hah!" Toby the Jug jeered.
"Yeah?" Mickey the Rat raged. "Let's see you think of something better,
fat-face!" Mickey kicked a brick at a careless cat that hadn't seen
them coming. "Yeeeeowwww!" yowled Mickey. He'd forgotten he was wearing
his trainers and not his boots. "I've hurt me toe!"
He left the laughing cat and limped after Toby the Jug. "So - ouch -
what's - ow - your - ooooh - idea?"
"Hah! Easy peasy!"
"Yeah? Go on then!"
"Hah! I know! We'll call ourselves . . . The Famous Three . . . like
the gang in that book Miss Fitt read. It had a girl called George in
it."
Mickey blinked a mousey blink and twitched his pointy nose. "Yeah,
Toby. Great idea, Toby." They swaggered down the street like Humpty
Dumpty, Jack Spratt and one Blind Mouse.
"Hah! That's settled then." Toby nodded till his chins wobbled.

He strolled past old Mrs Crabtree. He kicked her walking stick from
under her. Mrs Crabtree gave a cry of anger and swung her bag of
potatoes at the fat villain.
It caught him a crack on the side of the head.
Kerrrrlunkkkk!
It buckled his jug-handle ear.
"What . . .?" Darren began.
"Hah! Good question, Darren," Toby said as he tried to bend his ear
straight again. "What are we going to do as a gang?"
"Yeah!"
"What?"
They crossed the little park in front of the flats. Toby the Jug
snapped the branch off a young tree and bent it like a bow. "We gotta
be evil. We gotta be like Robin Hood and his Misery Men."
The bent branch sprang back and whacked him on the end of his fat
nose.
Schhhhplatttt!
"Yeah? Don't you mean Merry Men, Toby?"
"Nah! Robin Hood and his Misery Men. We're going to make life a Misery
for everybody in Duckpool flats. "We can't rob from the rich and give
to the poor - cos there's no rich round here. So, we'll rob from the
poor and give to The Famous Three!" It was the longest speech he'd ever
made. He was quite out of breath.
"What? I thought we was like a gang of cowboys? Robin Hood was an
Indian, wasn't he?" Darren the Drainpipe piped up.
"Robin Hood? An Indian? Are you thick?" Mickey asked.
"No. I'm thin. What I mean is he had a bow and arrer, didn't he?"
"Yeah! And Dracula had a bat - but you didn't catch him playing
cricket, did you?"

They crossed the children's play park. Mickey the Rat shot down the
slide.
Sssswishhhh!
Darren the Drainpipe tried to do the same. But he sat at the top of the
slide and his feet touched the bottom. That wasn't much fun.
Toby the Jug pushed two toddlers off the swings and jumped on himself.
The chains snapped and dumped him on his fat bottom.
Doyyyynnnngggg
So that wasn't much fun either.
Mickey raced across to the school gate to pull the pigtail on the
smallest girl he could find. The trouble was he couldn't reach.
"What crime we going to start with?" Mickey asked.
"A bit of highway robbery," Toby growled.
"What? I thought we was a gang of cowboys," Darren moaned.
"Well, cowboys robbed stages, didn't they?" Mickey the Rat asked.
"What? Not a lot of stages in Duckpool," Darren whinged.
"There's a stage in the school hall," Toby the Jug joked. "The head
stands on it every morning in assembly! Hah!"
"What?"
"Never mind," Toby the Jug sighed. "But look! Hah! Here comes our first
victim!"

And down the street strolled Georgina Jones, on her way to school. She
was as bright as a newly-polished dustbin-lid from the top of her black
school hat to the tips of her black school shoes. Her skirt had perfect
pleats. Her school tie was striped in blue and yellow.
The Famous Three stepped out and blocked her path. "Stand and deliver!"
Toby Jug said.
Georgina Jones blinked. She took off her glasses. She polished them on
a clean handkerchief. She put them back on. "I beg your pardon?" she
asked politely.
"Your money or your life?" Mickey the Rat squealed. He'd always wanted
to say that.
"The only money I have is my school-dinner money. If you take that I
will starve. Then you will have my money and my life. That isn't fair,
is it?"
"Yeah," said Mickey.
"Huh?" said Toby.
"What?" said Darren.
The Famous Three were puzzled.
"So, if you'll excuse me, I'll be getting into school," Georgina Jones
said as she stepped through Darren's legs. "Good day. A pleasure
meeting you gentlemen."
The Famous Three stood for a long time. Mickey the Rat finally spoke.
"Er . . . was that supposed to happen, Toby?"
"Er . . . no, Michael. I don't believe it was," Toby the Jug
replied.
"What . . ."
"Good question, Darren. What do we do next? We get Jones, that's what!"
Toby said. His face turned red at the thought of being tricked.
"Yeah," Mickey the Rat mumbled. "We'll show her who's boss."
"Tomorrow morning," Toby said savagely. He stamped his size-twelve boot
on the pavement.
Crrrracccck! (The boot - not the pavement.)
"Tomorrow morning, The Famous Three get that girl!"

2.
The next morning dawn broke.
Ccccrasssshhhh!
Then . . .
Kerrrrluncccchhhh!
The lift bumped to a stop at the bottom of the flats. The Famous Three
stepped out. Toby the Jug popped a match in the button marked 15. He
jumped out before the lift doors shut . . .
Cllllangggg!
And the lift shot up to the 15th floor.
"Hah!" Toby crowed. "Let the mugs on the top floor walk up all those
stairs!"
"Yeah!" said Mickey and he showed his ratty teeth in a grin. Suddenly
his smile stopped. "Here, Toby . . . we all live on the 15th floor!
We'll all have to walk up those stairs!"
"What?" said Darren.
"Never thought of that," muttered Toby.

They stepped out into the sunlight . . . and a surprise!
Waiting on the path was Georgina Jones.
"Morning, Jones," said Toby. His ears flapped in the morning
breeze.
"Morning, boys."
"You ready to pay?" Mickey the Rat called.
"Maybe I am . . . and maybe I'm not!" the girl called back. She swung
her school bag by her side.
"Er . . . when will we know, please?" lanky Darren asked.
"If you want it . . . come and get it!" Georgina smiled a smile bright
as an advert for toothpaste. Then she added, "If you can!"
The Famous Three rushed forward.
"Wait!" Georgina Jones cried.
The Famous Three skidded to a halt.
Sccccreeeechhhh!
"I should warn you, I'm an expert at jujitsu."
"Bless you!"
"I mean," Georgina Jones explained, "That I could kill you with one
blow from my deadly hand."
Fat Toby gulped . . .
Gerllllumphhhh!
"Really?"
"Really."
Toby scratched a flapping ear. "I've been thinking, Jones. Three of us
onto one of you isn't fair."
"True."
"And I'm bigger than you."
"Much bigger."
"So I'll stay out of this. You can just fight Mickey and Darren," Toby
said with a fat grin.
"Suits me," Georgina said. "Come on then, Mickey and Darren."
Mickey grinned a ratty grin.
"And I've been thinking, Jones, you're much bigger than me. It would be
fairer if you just fight Darren."
"Suits me even more," the girl shrugged.
"Right, Darren," Toby whispered to his skinny mate. "Get Jones!"
"Do I have to?" Darren the drainpipe asked.
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because The Famous Three are jolly brave!"
"Who says?" Darren wanted to know.
"That girl called George in Miss Fitt's book!" Mickey said rattily.
"And she's our hero!"
"Oh, If the girl called George says so then it must be right,"
Drainpipe Darren said thinly. He stepped forward.
"Wait!" Georgina Jones cried. "We really should fight in a ring - like
boxers do."
"We don't have a ring," Darren said.
"No, but as you see, I've put a tablecloth on the path. It's square
just like a boxing ring."
"I always thought rings were round," Darren said. "Is this some kind of
trick?"
"Of course," the girl said calmly. "Just step onto the cloth
please."
Darren the Drainpipe stepped onto the cloth.
Darren the Drainpipe disappeared.
Vvvvroooomphhhh!
All that was left was a black hole in the ground. "Where's he gone?"
fat Toby gasped.
"Down that drain hole," Georgina said.
"Shouldn't it have a man-hole cover on it?" Mickey asked rattily.
"It should . . . but I took the cover off and put my mum's tablecloth
over it. Your friend will be washed down the sewers until he reaches
the sea. Don't worry . . . I've arranged for a lifeboat to pick him
up."
"That-that-that-that's cheating!" Mickey squeaked.
"Hah! You tell her, Mickey!" Toby called. "You get her for that,
Mickey!"
"Yeah!" Mickey squealed. and he rushed at the girl in the glasses.
Georgina calmly took a milk bottle out of her school bag. She placed a
balloon over the neck and tipped the bottle. The milk filled the
balloon.
Gluuuugg-gluuuugg-gluuuugg!
As Mickey the Rat jumped over the open drain hole she threw her
milk-bomb. Pop! It burst on Mickey's pointy nose. The milk splashed all
over him.
A strange wailing sound filled the air.
Mmmmeeeeoooowwww!
Every cat in Duckpool rushed to get a lick of the milk. Little Mickey -
or 'Milkey' - was swallowed in a ball of clawing, yowling fur. He
staggered back. He fell down the drain hole and vanished.
Georgina Jones put the milk bottle tidily back in her bag. "Your turn,
I think, Toby!"
Fat Toby gave a thin smile. "I think I'm a bit too large to go down
that hole . . . if you don't mind."
"It would give me great pleasure to force you down," Georgina offered
and she walked towards the jug-eared boy.
Toby turned and ran into the flats. Georgina walked calmly after
him.
Toby pressed the lift button. "I think someone has jammed the lift on
floor fifteen," Georgina said quietly. "Try the stairs!"
"Aaaaghhhh!" Toby the Jug screamed as Georgina Jones used a jujitsu
throw to hurl the fat boy up the stairs. Toby hit the first landing. He
tumbled back down the concreted steps.
Ker-boinkkkk-ker-boinkkkk-ker-boinkkkk-ker-boinkkkk-ker-boinkkkk!
"Ahhhh! Ohhhh! Ahhhh! You win, Jones," he moaned. "This town ain't big
enough for the two of us. I guess I'd better be moving out."
"No, Toby," the girl said sweetly. "I think you'd better be moving up!
Since the lift is jammed I think it would be nice if you carried
everyone's shopping upstairs for them. Don't you?"
"Yes," Toby said miserably.
And that's just what he did all day.

Darren and Mickey returned dripping - and smelling rather sewery. They
helped him.
As the sun set over the Duckpool flats The Famous Three sat on the
bottom step.
"Hah! That's the end of The Famous Three !" Toby groaned tiredly.
"Yeah," Mickey moaned.
"What?" Darren asked. He pulled a piece of seaweed out of his
ear.
A girl stood in the shadow of the doorway. She stepped forward. "The
end of The Famous Three . . . but the start of The Famous Four!" she
said.
"Four?" the three asked. They blinked up at Georgina Jones.
"Yes. Four. You three are going to join my gang . . . The Famous Four.
We will travel through Duckpool, helping people and doing good."
"Yeah," said Mickey with a ratty shrug. "If you say so,
Georgina."
"I agree," Toby said.
"Just one question," Darren the Drainpipe put in. "Who are you really?
You're not an ordinary girl!"
She smiled and reached up and took off her hat. Her golden hair shone
in the setting sun. She looked just like a girl in a book they had
read.
"Hah!" Toby the Jug gasped.
"What?" Darren the Drainpipe blinked.
"Yeah!" Mickey the Rat smiled. "We should have guessed."
"Yes, boys . . . I AM that girl in the book."
"Georgina?" Toby asked.
"You can call me . . . George," she said.
And The Famous Four strolled off into the sunset.